"Nice header Tartt... don't ever fucking do it again!"

- Manager Lou Kent, Major Lasso

If it successful and producers want a sequel, the next film should Ted Slauson, who memorized every prize price ever on The Price Is Right and helped someone get an exact bid on the Showcase Showdown. There was a documentary made about the guy: Perfect Bid: The Contestant Who Knew Too Much.

Yep. These first jokes were great, and the rest would be entertainment.

If you wanted to be really mean-spirited...

Princess Diana vs Dale Earnhardt

Otherwise Diana Spencer vs Grace Kelly

Dunno if you consider doing all-female battle anymore, but if that is still on the table:

Marie Curie vs Ada Lovelace (science vs math)
Dorothy Hamill vs Mary Lou Retton (skating vs gymnastics)
Annie Oakley vs Ellen Ripley (gunfighters)
Jane Austen vs Agatha Christie (authors)