It has been 168 days since Joann Fabrics closed. If you add those numbers together, it's fifteen. You know what else is fifteen? A LITERAL CHILD, MEGYN.

Living in a rural area and following local community Facebook groups is real weird sometimes.
The whiplash you get from reading a "mac and cheese is gay" post to a "help me find my donkey" is WILD.

I prayed today for joy and God granted me with my cousin's step-mom commenting stupid shit on my mom's Facebook post.

I don't know all 10 commandments by heart, but I'm pretty sure "don't be dumb and hateful" might be one of them, Jill.

I miss the days when we didn't have to worry about the VP calling private citizens dipshits on Twitter. Among other things, of course.

Contrary to popular belief, women don't owe you shit. Not our smiles, not our time, not our bodies, not our lives.

Call me crazy but I'm more worried about pregnant women being killed by their partners than I am about them taking Tylenol.

No explanation necessary. 🤘🏻💚💅🏻

I pray to my nonbinary God that my kid doesn't ever have a family tree project because she's gonna have some questions.
Non-nuclear families are great until your kid starts to realize that we just say someone is a cousin when it takes more than 5 seconds to figure out what the actual realation is.

I miss when a big presidential scandal was a tan suit or a bike helmet.

Just realized my hair looks identical to Billy Ray Cyrus' so excuse me while I got find the kitchen scissors.

Having a Pope that wears a smart watch is wild.

Uhhhh, this is a risky marketing choice of equipment given the dystopian hellscape we're in.

As a graduate of the Grey's Anatomy School of Medicine, I'd like to be considered for the next HHS Secretary position. I'm clearly qualified.

When the time comes, I want to be cremated with a Dominos stuffed crust pizza.

There's more states that allow child marriage than there are known school-aged transgender athletes. Tell me again how you're protecting girls?