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darleysam.bsky.social
Sam.
@darleysam.bsky.social
160 followers 290 following 1.9K posts
Socials for The Longest Johns
Reader at Chilliteracy
Freelance internet contributor (he/him)
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darleysam.bsky.social
Just looked at the Steam reviews for Citizen Sleeper 2 (a game which I'm currently playing and enjoying immensely, thoroughly hooked into a "just one more day" loop), and.. I guess take the confidence of a Steam reviewer into your daily life?
The developer is literally from the UK, but sure.
Screenshot of an extract from a Steam review for Citizen Sleeper 2, which reads: "But the English being done by someone not quite 100% fluent made some of the more subtle decisions painful. I decided after the first few cycles to roll with it, but just kept getting punished time and time again. I've probably spent 30% of my time in the game trying to change decisions I made in the first 10 cycles... Then it ends...Wellspring, can't go back....I guess my big issue is the writing or poor translation into English. Juni, Flint, Bliss...and the ending...just made me feel like 50 hours of my life was pointless waste."
November 20, 2025 at 5:04 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
So yeah, when I say there's people on both sides of the political spectrum who just want a fight and will take any excuse to have it, this is the kind of justification and excuse-making I'm on about.
Please, no, take the mob-rule elsewhere.
Revenge/physical combat was how people settled things for literally millions of years, it's normal human behavior, we're wolves not sheep, the government project trying to social engineer us and domesticate us into sheep has been unsuccessful
November 19, 2025 at 2:23 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
Love to collect skins and emotes, me.
What's the game though?
Screenshot from Steam showing new SEGA game Sonic Rumble, and their description of it that reads "Ready, Set, Rumble! Join Sonic in this intense arcade royale game set in Dr. Eggman's diabolical Toy World. Collect legendary skins, all-new emotes, and build skills as you progress through this action-packed game! Mayhem is best with friends!" It then shows 'All Reviews' as being 'Mostly Negative'
November 5, 2025 at 6:02 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
A picture of TV celebrity Ant McPartlin An image of TV celebrity Declan Donnelly A screengrab from the Star Trek: Voyager episode Tuvix showing two transporter engineers (one being ensign Harry Kim) looking at the transporter console with confusion because something unexpected is happening. A picture of a young Anthony Hopkins (taken from an image on iPlayer for his film When Eight Bells Toll), where he looks uncannily like an amalgamation of TV personalities Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly.
November 3, 2025 at 8:55 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
You ever just get really angry about Jamie Oliver?
A picture of a Double Decker next to a pen, for scale. The chocolate bar is absolutely dwarfed. Without the packaging it's like half the length of a pen. It is not "fun-size" or branded any other way to indicate that it is smaller than regular. It's just what it is now. Thanks sugar tax, and thanks shrinkflation.
October 11, 2025 at 1:50 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
An edited meme showing the character Wolverine from X-Men gazine wistfully at a held picture frame as he lies on his bed, except Wolverine's face has been replaced with that of Fox Mulder, and the picture in the frame is that of Big-Titted Bigfoot
September 24, 2025 at 9:39 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
Just doing a casual watchthrough of X-Files and this might be my favourite shot to come up so far, that is for 100% real from the show and not an edited shitpost
A picture of Agent Fox Mulder sat in a dimly-lit office, looking attentively at a stack of papers he's holding. Then an image of the picture he's looking at: it's a crude drawing of Bigfoot, but with tits.
September 22, 2025 at 10:27 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
YouTube algorithm has something to say
A screenshot of the YouTube app home page, generated by its algorithm, showing first a news headline about Charlie Kirk's wife saying he loved what he did, then a lyrics video for a Chumbawamba song "the day the nazi died"
September 13, 2025 at 7:26 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
Look, all I'm asking for is that we hard pivot the direction of fashion straight through The Count of Monte Cristo (the good 2024 one, not the TV series). Long coats with absurdly high collars, and slick waistcoats please.
A still from The Count of Monte Cristo (Pathe, 2024) showing Pierre Niney as The Count, standing in a pose holding a duelling pistol. He is wearing a rad waistcoat with all sorts of detailing on the chest, and a high collar. A second shot of The Count in a different outfit, from the back, showing a coat made of some fabric I can't identify, but again features a sick-ass high collar and slightly puffed shoulders.
August 18, 2025 at 6:51 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
I don't have time to do all the text, but this is the Penny Arcade comic strip "the Unhorse", where careless meddling with a video game accidentally creates a cursed horse, and remorse follows.
August 17, 2025 at 8:29 AM
darleysam.bsky.social
The perfect companion
www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1...
A surreal bumper sticker that.. I'm sorry to say I don't have the patience to try and transcribe through the battle with my phone's predictive text, but features the repeating words "keep honking I'm listening to Philip Glass" in increasingly disjointed configurations, like broken echoes
August 13, 2025 at 1:50 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
I was probably 16 when I got this, and remember excitedly sitting in the back of the car on the journey home. It ran like ass on our computer, it crashed *constantly*, and it completely changed the course of my life.

A true all-timer.
So, here’s November 1998, and you’re booting up Half-Life, a game with a nondescript cover that had a Lamba symbol; little do you know you’ll be playing one of the finest video games ever crafted. You begin, not by immediately shooting some creatures as in most games, nor with a fairly quick action scene like Unreal’s escape from Vortex Riker’s, but by… riding on a tram car, watching the massive base drift past before showing up to work for the day. You make your way to a science experiment, get heckled by scientists for being late for work, blow up a guy’s casserole in the microwave (it’s optional, but funny), and eventually push a cart full of exotic material into an energy beam, summoning hordes of aliens into our world. A photo of my Half-Life Game of the Year edition box, CD, and open manual that I've just taken. It is all very orange.
August 7, 2025 at 2:29 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
Oh yeah, did your graphics all by yourself did you?
An image of a bluesky post for a new game on Steam called "Drow Space Shooter" On the left of the capsule art is a detailed picture of a white-haired elven figure with long pointy ears and purple eyes, with the collar visible of some kind of uniform. Behind him is a space backdrop with three tiny spaceships that, frankly, look intended for 'personal use' (who may be about to shoot the massive space drow in his giant head?) and three tiny planets. Then to the right of the image are the words "Drow Space Shooter" in the most basic-ass Times New Roman font.
July 22, 2025 at 11:42 AM
darleysam.bsky.social
Not here to shame anyone and it's about Labour saying they want to drown more migrants in the sea, BUT

were the Grench there?
A screenshot of a bluesky post saying "Please read the article! This was done by Grench police in Grench waters, NOT by our government!"
July 20, 2025 at 10:05 AM
darleysam.bsky.social
Once again, someone needs to really slap Microsoft hard in the face with legal action about this business.
A screenshot of a popup if you open the Microsoft web browser Edge, that is basically pushing you to either set Edge as your default browser now, or later. It's suggesting their "recommended browser settings" and asking you to Confirm, or Set Later. By coincidence, these suggestions are to use Edge as your browser and Bing as your search engine. This is because they're not allowed to do it without asking, so instead they just ask and the best 'no' you can give is to let them keep asking.
July 15, 2025 at 1:56 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
Need to pour one out for Grogg Mayles today
A screenshot of a bluesky conversation with too much text for me to post on my phone, but the gist is that long-time Rare employee and, frankly, game development legend, Gregg Mayles, has been made redundant from Rare.
July 3, 2025 at 12:45 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
It's funny that you can spot the AI stuff by the very obvious choice taken to deny you *any* ability to interact with, or remove it.

When's the antitrust case coming?
A screenshot of some preinstalled Windows apps, most of which allow you some kind of "advanced" options to control how it behaves or even whether it's on your computer, except for 'Click to Do' and 'Recall', both of which are Microsoft's invasive AI toss, that just tell you they are there and you have to deal with it. A second screenshot of WIndows settings for System > AI Components, which.. just tells you what's there. AI Content Extraction, AI Image Search, AI Phi Silica, and AI Semantic Analysis. Again it's just a list of things, you aren't allowed to edit them. They can't be clicked on or interacted with in any way. Just a list of troubling symptoms your computer is exhibiting. Sorry.
July 2, 2025 at 1:08 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
..........................................sure
A screenshot of PC Game Pass, listing a selection of available first-person shooters. The games read as follows: Call of Duty®: Black Ops 6 Call of Duty®: Modern Wafare® III Call of Duty®: Warzone Call of Duty®: Modern Warfare® II Warhammer 40,000: Darktide PowerWash Simulator
July 1, 2025 at 2:33 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
This cat is your favourite rapper's favourite rapper.
One rad grey 90s cat in wraparound mirror shades The same rad 90s cat, wearing what may be the same pair of shades, draped over a man's shoulders The cat, this time in darker shades, a blue beret, and red turtleneck sweatshirt with collar tag hanging out. LL Cool J-lookin'-ass cat. The cat, again, this time wearing some kind of brown bowler hat? This is Pharrell.
June 29, 2025 at 2:22 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
Oh hey, I assume this sucks for anyone who spent money on Dark & Darker purchases, hey..
(I've not, but from the wording it looks like only some stuff is getting refunded?)
A screenshot of an email from Epic, the text of which says: Hi there, We removed Dark and Darker from sale on the Epic Games Store on March 5 in consideration of a court decision in Korea between Nexon and the game's publisher, IRONMACE. On November 1, 2025, we will be removing Dark and Darker from your library, at which point it will no longer be playable via the Epic Games Store. Effective immediately, players can no longer purchase Redstone Shards or the Legendary Status upgrades via the Epic Games Store. Players can continue to use the Redstone Shards that they have previously purchased until November 1, 2025. We will issue a refund to all players who have purchased the Legendary Status upgrade. Refunds will be issued to the player’s original payment method, and where that’s not possible, players will receive a refund to their Epic account balance. We are unable to provide refunds on Redstone Shards. If you have not received a refund by July 1, please contact player support. Thank you, The Epic Games Store team
June 17, 2025 at 4:11 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
The Alters knows what's up
Like the first objective you get in video game The Alters, that says "Escape the Sun"
June 17, 2025 at 12:12 AM
darleysam.bsky.social
A shot from a famous I Think You Should Leave sketch, featuring a man with a hat that he is very proud of, but everyone else hates and thinks looks bad.
June 11, 2025 at 11:53 AM
darleysam.bsky.social
One of my favourite things about Wildgate is the randomly-assigned ship names
YEETYOURFEELINGS TRAGIC SCHOOL BUS SMOOTH BOAR (like the pig) BLUR OASIS
June 9, 2025 at 11:26 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
Damn, I already enjoyed the Wildgate early access so much that I was fiending for more, but then this Steam review just sells it even harder. You mean I don't have to play with guys like this?
the earnest opinions of a supposedly actual, real human being, condensed into review form stating: this game had potential but it is developed by a group of woke psychopaths who will kick you from their discord because you have A HISTORICAL FIGURE as your profile picture. afterwards i was harassed by fans to the point where i needed to delete my account. go play sea of thieves its a much better put together game than whatever the hell this "game" is
June 9, 2025 at 1:15 PM
darleysam.bsky.social
Yeah I was genuinely excited even by what they were showing right up until the title reveal and then
June 8, 2025 at 6:50 PM