I used to be a level 1 judge. I can do that over and over. I have infinite patience.

So what you're saying is I need to teach you how to play one of the best card games of all time? Easy enough.

Bad Game

why I don't talk to people about this. It's just trauma dumping, and they arent my therapists. Theres no reason to stress them out, yet here I am doing it anyways. I'm sorry.

stories out, yelling at the clouds of BlueSky. Im sorry to even bother you guys, but its all that I have going on. I need hundreds of dollars in the next month, I just broke my toe, my phone is broken, Im tired, Im lost in school, and for the first time ever, I'm talking about it and Im realizing

to come out of me, but knowing theres nothing there but the free water from campus. I havent had the energy to stream because Im tired, Im hungry, and Im searching for any way to keep my strainer of a raft floating, and I know I cant come to you guys for it. Its my job to entertain, not give sob

talk to when I needed to and never judged me is gone. It's coming up on 2 years now and its eating away at me but every time I try to talk to someone they have things to do. I scream cry in my car, eyes blurred to the point that its unsafe to drive, retching on the side of a road hoping for anything

harder and harder into school and the people there are starting to give me the look. The look of people staring directly into the uncanny valley. I make people uncomfortable by simply being around. The only reason I'm saying this here is because there's no one else to talk to. The one person I could

my family of whatever joy they had before I come into the situation. They don't call me back when they say they will. I know why, I wouldnt call me either. Im so passionate that recently I had a friend admit to me that it makes them uncomfortable and unable to stay around me too long. I push myself

and have had a ton of fun but have also had teachers like today that dodge my questions, ignore my inquiry, and refuse to speak to me at the station between calls. I'm a leech. I leech my teachers of their effort and time and sanity, I leech my friends of their time and recently even money. I leech

school already, now I need a phone, I already had needs but theres no way I can even afford the cheapest thing my provider has. I need tires, mine are going out and cant grip the road at all if theres any moisture. I go to class and cant remember the basics of BEING a basic EMT. I go to clinicals

knowing its coming but not having the means to stop it that makes me just sit here. In the bast day since I woke up, my phone battery has fully exploded. I replace it with an old battery which then kills the phone completely. I havent had a job for months. I'm pinching pennies to eat and go to

selfish enough to think I deserve it. I sit and settle in and just bottle everything up until nights like tonight happen and it hits me like a compound wave at an aggressive beach. I get swallowed by a tide I cannot fathom, even though I watched it build on its way to the shore. Its a wild mix of

Then when I really need to talk to people, no one is there. Theyre busy living their lives, working, thinking, talking to people and the one thing I need is just to talk but then I just cant. They arent there, and it isn't their fault. its mine for even needing it in the first place and for being

actually comes up and suddenly Im inept. I know I am, I struggle with even basic things I should just know because I know them, ive passed every test in front of me, but everyone just wants more from me and I am never good enoguh for them, let alone their expectations. Im a constant let down.