At first I thought a book made out of super glue was a dumb idea but after just a few pages I genuinely couldn’t put it down
March 10, 2025 at 5:40 AM
At first I thought a book made out of super glue was a dumb idea but after just a few pages I genuinely couldn’t put it down
Anglerfish must think their sooooo clever
February 15, 2025 at 6:03 AM
Anglerfish must think their sooooo clever
I’d lose a lot more weight if they invented food that tasted worse
February 15, 2025 at 1:50 AM
I’d lose a lot more weight if they invented food that tasted worse
To any gullible people reading this I would encourage you to sign up to my class now for a free opportunity to give me a bunch of money
February 14, 2025 at 8:48 PM
To any gullible people reading this I would encourage you to sign up to my class now for a free opportunity to give me a bunch of money
It crazy that newspapers have essentially gone out of print because there’s just hasn’t been very much news in the last decade
February 14, 2025 at 8:30 PM
It crazy that newspapers have essentially gone out of print because there’s just hasn’t been very much news in the last decade
To everyone whose been with me on my journey to be a more generous person I just want to say fuck off get your own journey
February 14, 2025 at 8:22 PM
To everyone whose been with me on my journey to be a more generous person I just want to say fuck off get your own journey
I don’t like to call it time mismanagement. I call it time Mrs. management because I’m married to that shit
January 28, 2025 at 6:04 AM
I don’t like to call it time mismanagement. I call it time Mrs. management because I’m married to that shit
The gall of some take out places to ask if I want to add utensils as if they think their food is good enough to warrant a real fork that I have to wash
January 24, 2025 at 2:58 AM
The gall of some take out places to ask if I want to add utensils as if they think their food is good enough to warrant a real fork that I have to wash
I’m actually hold the world record for least amount of world records. Which disqualifies me from the record and I’d appreciate some privacy in this trying time
January 22, 2025 at 4:04 AM
I’m actually hold the world record for least amount of world records. Which disqualifies me from the record and I’d appreciate some privacy in this trying time
I don’t know how people make coffee enemas a part of their routine. I don’t know what Starbucks these people are going to but mine does NOT like it
January 22, 2025 at 4:00 AM
I don’t know how people make coffee enemas a part of their routine. I don’t know what Starbucks these people are going to but mine does NOT like it
I don’t want to say British food is bland but their most popular crisp is tongue flavored
January 22, 2025 at 3:56 AM
I don’t want to say British food is bland but their most popular crisp is tongue flavored
My New Year’s resolution is to do more useful things but I’ll be DAMNED if this spilled milk doesn’t have me tearing up
January 22, 2025 at 3:46 AM
My New Year’s resolution is to do more useful things but I’ll be DAMNED if this spilled milk doesn’t have me tearing up
I heard there’s a new bug in Tesla’s where they keep drifting to the right
January 22, 2025 at 12:38 AM
I heard there’s a new bug in Tesla’s where they keep drifting to the right
I think this quote from Star Wars really sums up Inauguration Day:
“Somehow Palpatine returned”
“Somehow Palpatine returned”
January 20, 2025 at 11:59 PM
I think this quote from Star Wars really sums up Inauguration Day:
“Somehow Palpatine returned”
“Somehow Palpatine returned”
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Give a man a fish every day, he eats but gets pretty sick of fish
January 3, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Give a man a fish every day, he eats but gets pretty sick of fish
Sources tell me their going to start 2025 in June just to get it over with faster
January 2, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Sources tell me their going to start 2025 in June just to get it over with faster
It’s good cars became the main mode of transportation and not sled dogs because all the gas stations would just be huge piles of meat and that’s gross
December 24, 2024 at 7:04 PM
It’s good cars became the main mode of transportation and not sled dogs because all the gas stations would just be huge piles of meat and that’s gross
When the weather outside is below freezing, you use your refrigerator to keep your food warm
December 23, 2024 at 2:19 PM
When the weather outside is below freezing, you use your refrigerator to keep your food warm
Turns out assless chaps are not what people mean when they ask for ranch dressing
December 23, 2024 at 3:45 AM
Turns out assless chaps are not what people mean when they ask for ranch dressing
I hate when homeless people don’t thank you for the money you give them. They just hold the money in their stick hand and stare at you with their rock eyes and carrot nose. Ungrateful
December 22, 2024 at 4:41 PM
I hate when homeless people don’t thank you for the money you give them. They just hold the money in their stick hand and stare at you with their rock eyes and carrot nose. Ungrateful
The sun gets its union mandated break today, might be a good time to think about how to exploit it more
December 21, 2024 at 1:58 PM
The sun gets its union mandated break today, might be a good time to think about how to exploit it more
There’s no one more productive than me in my mind, but tomorrow
December 21, 2024 at 1:35 AM
There’s no one more productive than me in my mind, but tomorrow
When you get in the ocean you’re really just in a lazy river around the sun
December 21, 2024 at 12:43 AM
When you get in the ocean you’re really just in a lazy river around the sun
My broken clock is right more than twice a day because it’s spinning like crazy. It’s been like this for 6 days. Or maybe half an hour it’s really hard to tell with this stupid clock
December 20, 2024 at 4:11 PM
My broken clock is right more than twice a day because it’s spinning like crazy. It’s been like this for 6 days. Or maybe half an hour it’s really hard to tell with this stupid clock
If you round up, I have one working car
December 20, 2024 at 4:02 PM
If you round up, I have one working car