Danny Pee
@dannypeecomedy.bsky.social
The parasocial relationship of your dreams.
I’ve never been diagnosed ADHD, but whenever my daughter flips on the tv and all of a sudden her reading comprehension ratchets up, its a familiar feeling
October 15, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I’ve never been diagnosed ADHD, but whenever my daughter flips on the tv and all of a sudden her reading comprehension ratchets up, its a familiar feeling
I think I'm done watching Ryan Murphy manifest his spank bank
October 14, 2025 at 4:30 PM
I think I'm done watching Ryan Murphy manifest his spank bank
If its a bald Zappa you see, Ahmet it be
Curly Zappa at night? Dweezil is your delight
Curly Zappa at night? Dweezil is your delight
October 13, 2025 at 6:14 PM
If its a bald Zappa you see, Ahmet it be
Curly Zappa at night? Dweezil is your delight
Curly Zappa at night? Dweezil is your delight
Easter Seals? More like Easter Steals when I take that little bus for a joyride woooooweeeeee
October 8, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Easter Seals? More like Easter Steals when I take that little bus for a joyride woooooweeeeee
A kids movie about a beer that believes in itself called “The Tallest Boy”
October 7, 2025 at 9:33 PM
A kids movie about a beer that believes in itself called “The Tallest Boy”
Today’s song stuck: Running Up That Hill
Accent im singing with: Russian
Accent im singing with: Russian
October 5, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Today’s song stuck: Running Up That Hill
Accent im singing with: Russian
Accent im singing with: Russian
Another litmus test for intelligence is seeing how many people thought Jane Goodall worked with Harambe
October 4, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Another litmus test for intelligence is seeing how many people thought Jane Goodall worked with Harambe
Putting away my kids inflatable pool helps me realize even if i WANTED to skydive, i would never even pass the part where you pack your own parachute
October 4, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Putting away my kids inflatable pool helps me realize even if i WANTED to skydive, i would never even pass the part where you pack your own parachute
I always save rotisserie chicken elastics so I can style my daughter's hair with em
October 1, 2025 at 4:22 PM
I always save rotisserie chicken elastics so I can style my daughter's hair with em
Getting diarrhea in the midst of a weight loss journey is just god’s way of saying “keep up the great work”
October 1, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Getting diarrhea in the midst of a weight loss journey is just god’s way of saying “keep up the great work”
I am no longer stealing Disney+ from my brother
September 18, 2025 at 6:06 PM
I am no longer stealing Disney+ from my brother
Sometimes i wonder what the asbestos snow from the wizard of oz would taste like if you caught one on your tongue
September 14, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Sometimes i wonder what the asbestos snow from the wizard of oz would taste like if you caught one on your tongue
You dont know my kids. You dont know their needs. So if you see me in public reciting Richard Lewis’s lines from “Robin Hood: Men In Tights” to them, just keep walking.
September 14, 2025 at 11:32 PM
You dont know my kids. You dont know their needs. So if you see me in public reciting Richard Lewis’s lines from “Robin Hood: Men In Tights” to them, just keep walking.
I want to have a restaurant where after the bread course is done, there are really enthusiastic waiters who say they’ll pack it for home but then lose track of it and then after you leave the waiter remembers and drives it to your house and the restaurant would be called “Forgot Ya Focaccia!”
September 13, 2025 at 1:02 PM
I want to have a restaurant where after the bread course is done, there are really enthusiastic waiters who say they’ll pack it for home but then lose track of it and then after you leave the waiter remembers and drives it to your house and the restaurant would be called “Forgot Ya Focaccia!”
Brian Pepper’s Jack Cheese. Your eyes will bug out over this Ohio classic.
September 12, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Brian Pepper’s Jack Cheese. Your eyes will bug out over this Ohio classic.
a pop up just told me "have a great week" with no other information to share and i audibly said "shut up" in an empty room
September 10, 2025 at 2:50 PM
a pop up just told me "have a great week" with no other information to share and i audibly said "shut up" in an empty room
Trying to microdose stress, but I end up snorting the whole vial
September 8, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Trying to microdose stress, but I end up snorting the whole vial
For a band called Rush, some of these songs take their sweet fuckin time huh
September 6, 2025 at 12:32 AM
For a band called Rush, some of these songs take their sweet fuckin time huh
Regardless of religious beliefs, I think we all can agree when you bang your thumb with a hammer, we should be allowed to curse the name of a 2000 year old carpenter through our gritted, shitty teeth.
September 3, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Regardless of religious beliefs, I think we all can agree when you bang your thumb with a hammer, we should be allowed to curse the name of a 2000 year old carpenter through our gritted, shitty teeth.
I yearn for simpler times when Andrew Zimmern told me which bizarre foods had the texture of “pharmaceutical jelly”
September 1, 2025 at 12:58 PM
I yearn for simpler times when Andrew Zimmern told me which bizarre foods had the texture of “pharmaceutical jelly”
Rudy Giuliani currently in a Manchester hospital. His hair dye melted in his eyes while he was driving and then he farted and broke his back. Prayers up. Hope you get better so you can pay off that defamation lawsuit
August 31, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Rudy Giuliani currently in a Manchester hospital. His hair dye melted in his eyes while he was driving and then he farted and broke his back. Prayers up. Hope you get better so you can pay off that defamation lawsuit
That panic at the disco song about closing the goddamn door was made for dads
August 31, 2025 at 3:09 PM
That panic at the disco song about closing the goddamn door was made for dads
Taylor Swift got engaged and it caused Donald Trump’s colon to rupture (the location of his black heart). 🪦
August 30, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Taylor Swift got engaged and it caused Donald Trump’s colon to rupture (the location of his black heart). 🪦
kinda crazy that crisper is editing the human genome but all mine can do is make floppy celery after a few days
August 25, 2025 at 8:07 PM
kinda crazy that crisper is editing the human genome but all mine can do is make floppy celery after a few days
I was a bit of a "new world screwworm" myself back in the day
August 25, 2025 at 6:04 PM
I was a bit of a "new world screwworm" myself back in the day