Daniel Carrino
@danielcarrino.bsky.social
Comedian. New to this platform. Made X an ex. Soon to leave Facebook. Ready for a fresh start. I look forward to being funny and sometimes serious with you all. Politically informed. Can't stand Trump.
@adamkinzinger.bsky.social I know that you're a busy man. But I'm thinking of running for office, and I would love to have like ten minutes of your time. Hit me up if you can.
May 19, 2025 at 3:51 AM
@adamkinzinger.bsky.social I know that you're a busy man. But I'm thinking of running for office, and I would love to have like ten minutes of your time. Hit me up if you can.
Just a helpful reminder: It doesn't matter if you set your clock forward or back, time marches inevitably toward your death either way.
March 9, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Just a helpful reminder: It doesn't matter if you set your clock forward or back, time marches inevitably toward your death either way.
The women's magazines at the supermarket could just be replaced with a giant sign that says, "Don't eat carbs and let him do anal." #savethetrees
January 18, 2025 at 11:10 PM
The women's magazines at the supermarket could just be replaced with a giant sign that says, "Don't eat carbs and let him do anal." #savethetrees
Made my killer birthday cake yesterday with my special secret ingredient. Family loved it and wanted to know the secret ingredient. (Fentanyl.)
December 28, 2024 at 7:19 AM
Made my killer birthday cake yesterday with my special secret ingredient. Family loved it and wanted to know the secret ingredient. (Fentanyl.)
Let's put the, "Christ" back into, "Jesus Christ, get your dick out of the turkey!" Happy Holidays 😁
December 25, 2024 at 11:41 PM
Let's put the, "Christ" back into, "Jesus Christ, get your dick out of the turkey!" Happy Holidays 😁
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but in my day Christmas carolers would get asked in for egg nog. Then drugged and sodomized until New Years. It was a family tradition.
December 20, 2024 at 7:02 AM
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but in my day Christmas carolers would get asked in for egg nog. Then drugged and sodomized until New Years. It was a family tradition.
Know why Santa's bags are big and red? Because he only comes once a year.
December 17, 2024 at 6:27 AM
Know why Santa's bags are big and red? Because he only comes once a year.
I once had a girlfriend that told me, "You're the smartest person I know." I replied, "You need to meet more people."
December 16, 2024 at 7:15 AM
I once had a girlfriend that told me, "You're the smartest person I know." I replied, "You need to meet more people."
I'm happy with who I am now. I've grown to the point where my emotional intelligence caught up with my normal intelligence. I made a big move nearly two years ago. Started from zero, again. I have no local friends. Few acquaintances. And I'm fine with that. I got my mind right, still learn daily.
December 16, 2024 at 3:38 AM
I'm happy with who I am now. I've grown to the point where my emotional intelligence caught up with my normal intelligence. I made a big move nearly two years ago. Started from zero, again. I have no local friends. Few acquaintances. And I'm fine with that. I got my mind right, still learn daily.
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself." --- Peter O'Toole
December 15, 2024 at 1:26 PM
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself." --- Peter O'Toole
Jesus praised eunuchs. But that was probably because they didn't have the balls to call him on his bullshit.
December 14, 2024 at 8:50 AM
Jesus praised eunuchs. But that was probably because they didn't have the balls to call him on his bullshit.
Random 4 am thoughts. Wonder if the cabinet should have removed Biden via the 25th amendment after the midterm wins of 2022? And secondly, I wonder if the incoming cabinet will have the balls to remove Trump and make Vance the president. I'll have to peruse a copy of Project 2025.
December 13, 2024 at 10:06 AM
Random 4 am thoughts. Wonder if the cabinet should have removed Biden via the 25th amendment after the midterm wins of 2022? And secondly, I wonder if the incoming cabinet will have the balls to remove Trump and make Vance the president. I'll have to peruse a copy of Project 2025.
How do you see a thread of comments on a post? I haven't figured that out yet.
December 12, 2024 at 8:36 AM
How do you see a thread of comments on a post? I haven't figured that out yet.
I'm training a 19 year old pregnant girl how to do my job so I can move from second shift to first shift. It's kinda weird. She's like, "You're older than my dad." I'm 45.
December 12, 2024 at 6:47 AM
I'm training a 19 year old pregnant girl how to do my job so I can move from second shift to first shift. It's kinda weird. She's like, "You're older than my dad." I'm 45.
Biden should step down before Jan. 20th and let Kamala be the 47th president. Then she can do all the preemptive pardons. Make the MAGA idiots replace all their Trump 47 shit.
December 10, 2024 at 7:48 AM
Biden should step down before Jan. 20th and let Kamala be the 47th president. Then she can do all the preemptive pardons. Make the MAGA idiots replace all their Trump 47 shit.
Mistletoe is a poisonous parasite that causes nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. So, it really is the perfect symbol of romance.
December 9, 2024 at 9:05 PM
Mistletoe is a poisonous parasite that causes nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. So, it really is the perfect symbol of romance.
Been here for like 3 days. Already been sent scam messages. I'm not leaving, I'm not gullible. Just hope they can figure that out.
December 9, 2024 at 4:31 AM
Been here for like 3 days. Already been sent scam messages. I'm not leaving, I'm not gullible. Just hope they can figure that out.
It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. That's right ladies, I work out.
December 8, 2024 at 11:51 AM
It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. That's right ladies, I work out.
How can it be Ann Coulter's birthday? I thought she was created when a train full of hepatitis crashed into a sewage plant.
December 8, 2024 at 11:41 AM
How can it be Ann Coulter's birthday? I thought she was created when a train full of hepatitis crashed into a sewage plant.
My dad says I write the best nepotism jokes.
December 8, 2024 at 7:52 AM
My dad says I write the best nepotism jokes.