Was needing chapstick earlier and figured a trip to CVS was in store. "Before I go," I thought to myself, "let me check my bag to see if I already have some." Folks, I had TWO sticks. $$$ saved! Share and follow for more tips on how to #RetireBefore30

starting off recovery doodles w the tiny dog gang ft @ro-the-mo.bsky.social & @halfmoonjoe.com

Air travel is great. The seat is mostly comfortable, you can be on your phone the whole time, and people tend to not bother you. It's kind of like pooping for three hours.

Travel tip: So people know you're important, have a loud/pretend phone conversation with your assistant. "I can't believe you booked me in fucking coach! I only fly on my private jet."

Apology NOT accepted!!!!

Been working on my Bluesky profile. Is it more humble to say "legendary icon" or "iconic legend"?

If anyone left a hot dog at 18th and New Hampshire, it was still there as of a few hours ago.

the next fuckable popcorn bucket just dropped