I take issue with the statement that the only rule of Calvinball is that there are no rules. As I remember it, the only rule of Calvinball was that it was never played the same way twice. But I could be wrong.

“He was a cold hearted assassin at the top of his game. Against all odds, he got out. Then a wizard killed his little dog, Toto. Now he’s back. Tonight, the Yellow Brick Road runs red with blood.”