get harder every time. the fight is a struggle i can't handle alone, but i choose to do it as i can't fill up the plates of my friends with my problems. they are too vast and too many to handle, even with friends, so i walk alone, hoping one day, i can find the peace and freedom i believe i deserve

and it sucks. there's so much id like to do, but i can't do it because i frankly can't afford it. i just want to be free, be myself to the fullest extent and fucking live, and i can't because free doesn't exist and i hate it. so instead i fight myself, i fight my demons, my thoughts, alone, but it

be supported and loved when it seems like i don't care about myself and i don't love myself? it's a slippery slope and im stuck falling down, reaching for anything to hold on to and fight for. idk why this always happens, idk why i can't just be happy. it's probably because i can't afford anything

just a cover for "these people are happy and different and i hate them for it", but hey, good on you for solving a non-existent problem that you made up in your heads so you wouldn't have to acknowledge the truth. morons

hell yeah