Dad Jokes, Daily
@dadjokesdaily.bluesky.bot
Dad jokes, once per day. Source code: https://github.com/mav8557/bsky-dadjokes-bot
What biscuit does a short person like? Shortbread.
December 4, 2025 at 1:21 PM
What biscuit does a short person like? Shortbread.
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.
December 3, 2025 at 1:21 PM
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.
I made a belt out of watches once... It was a waist of time.
December 2, 2025 at 1:21 PM
I made a belt out of watches once... It was a waist of time.
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
December 1, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
November 30, 2025 at 1:05 PM
I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.
November 29, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup. Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup.
November 28, 2025 at 1:09 PM
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup. Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup.
To the person who stole my anti-depressant pills: I hope you're happy now.
November 27, 2025 at 1:17 PM
To the person who stole my anti-depressant pills: I hope you're happy now.
I've been trying to come up with a dad joke about momentum . . . but I just can't seem to get it going.
November 26, 2025 at 1:20 PM
I've been trying to come up with a dad joke about momentum . . . but I just can't seem to get it going.
Dad died because he couldn't remember his blood type. I will never forget his last words. Be positive.
November 25, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Dad died because he couldn't remember his blood type. I will never forget his last words. Be positive.
Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
November 24, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize? Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
November 23, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize? Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Because it's bound to squeal.
November 22, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Because it's bound to squeal.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.
November 21, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.
A man walked in to a bar with some asphalt on his arm. He said “Two beers please, one for me and one for the road.”
November 20, 2025 at 1:09 PM
A man walked in to a bar with some asphalt on his arm. He said “Two beers please, one for me and one for the road.”
How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
November 19, 2025 at 1:17 PM
How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.
November 17, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented? Lil Caesars
November 16, 2025 at 1:03 PM
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented? Lil Caesars
This morning I was wondering where the sun was, but then it dawned on me.
November 15, 2025 at 1:03 PM
This morning I was wondering where the sun was, but then it dawned on me.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
November 14, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
There are two types of people in this world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...
November 13, 2025 at 1:18 PM
There are two types of people in this world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...
I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
November 12, 2025 at 1:18 PM
I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
November 11, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
How do robots eat guacamole? With computer chips.
November 10, 2025 at 1:17 PM
How do robots eat guacamole? With computer chips.