But seriously it’s just been hectic and I haven’t had the time to draw or given the chance to sit down and do anything creative wise - it’s rather depressing!

ITS A SECRET ! You’re welcome!!!!

If I say it, it won’t be a surprise!!

But it’s kinda hard to keep playing that silly, carefree front when it’s kinda burning around me right now and I feel the crushing weight of my own emotions because of the lack of respect and honesty, because they needed someone to sit there and take their crap bc they’re not happy with themselves

Because despite what a shit life I have lived, for the majority of my life because yeah it was TERRIBLE, I only want to try and be happy and find joy in the things I’m doing. Have fun and laugh with friends and just - chill and vibe, be silly and make art.

I don’t wanna cry and be miserable anymore

Honestly I think I’m a bit more fucked up about it all when I think about it more, ugh

Like did I deserve that? My anxieties and bpd says yeah probs

But it kinda hurts to just finally have it said out loud, even in a text

Like what did I do? I did my best and it’s nothing in the end

Ruining the image that we were good, making me feel like the amount of trying to fit the mold and be there for you; to try and understand you, even if I can’t because I don’t lie and I’m super honest about things that I don’t vibe with - and I ignored it because besties

It’s a little fucked up that people can’t be honest - like tell me you dislike me instead of keeping me around due to your unresolved dependent issues and other mental health issues you’re ignoring.

Because like, you might think it’s kindness to stay but you’re ruining me when I find out eventually

Like… how do you come back from that, you know? And people whom I’ve trusted so much kinda just - might as well drag a serrated blade thru my chest repeatedly because it’s the same feeling.

I do my best to be like, patient - like I get people have issues but man idk.

Yeah no, so every time I do be thinking that someone likes me - err, wrong, they’re talking mad shit about me and it’s like “oh. I kinda thought we were good friends”

And even as of recent, my former bestie and cousin, for such a long time was talking crap about me constantly behind my back.

Also it does not help that I just look at my feelings and think they’re just a hassle for ANYONE to deal with - and that’s truly a shame because I really do be funny and make light of absolutely everything in my life that tends to be on fire! Things’ll turn out fine, probably not soon but eventually

I love that idea of love transcending universes and timelines; that characters are always connected, no matter the circumstances ;;

That they have this string bringing them back to each other in the end

And if Metal Kav and Kav were also to meet; Metal Kav would fall for Kav immediately

Kav is, from my pov, the embodiment of love and life

An organic Metal Sonic would do a double take, mention Kav’s beauty but he is loyal to his Metal Kav and that is just so SWEET

Except Organic Metal Sonic would be absolutely crazy over her because he’s got a screw lose or two, maybe idk