Cthulu
@cthulu-official.bsky.social
Cthulu's official account. When I'm not poisoning the minds of fishing villages, I'm probably here on bluesky (yes, most people misspell my name, it's only one H). Follow for updates on my life, as well as my take on stuff like politics. (Pfp: Travis Gibb)
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Cthulu
@cthulu-official.bsky.social
· Mar 4
My Pfp is from from this guy, go check him out: www.kickstarter.com/projects/ora...
Toothpick manufacturers are going too small
April 2, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Toothpick manufacturers are going too small
Why did you guys stop having respect for the ocean? The fact that you don’t anymore is a real pain in the ass
March 14, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Why did you guys stop having respect for the ocean? The fact that you don’t anymore is a real pain in the ass
My favourite type of torture (reserved for only the worst crimes) Is to ask people whether they want to know everything or nothing, and then you make them think that actually know everything or nothing, but don't.
March 13, 2025 at 4:18 PM
My favourite type of torture (reserved for only the worst crimes) Is to ask people whether they want to know everything or nothing, and then you make them think that actually know everything or nothing, but don't.
You guys should make more trips to the great garbage patch. It’s a seldom talked about issue for it’s size (which is twice that of Texas
March 7, 2025 at 9:25 PM
You guys should make more trips to the great garbage patch. It’s a seldom talked about issue for it’s size (which is twice that of Texas
Reposted by Cthulu
Emergency: Ritual shattered after poker chips found in box that contained offering.
Johnson will serve as an assistant chef to make up for it. Due to his mishap, we have a lot of shark now (dead) which will be served in the mess for quite some time, at the complaint of Priest Geoffrey I’m sure.
Johnson will serve as an assistant chef to make up for it. Due to his mishap, we have a lot of shark now (dead) which will be served in the mess for quite some time, at the complaint of Priest Geoffrey I’m sure.
March 7, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Emergency: Ritual shattered after poker chips found in box that contained offering.
Johnson will serve as an assistant chef to make up for it. Due to his mishap, we have a lot of shark now (dead) which will be served in the mess for quite some time, at the complaint of Priest Geoffrey I’m sure.
Johnson will serve as an assistant chef to make up for it. Due to his mishap, we have a lot of shark now (dead) which will be served in the mess for quite some time, at the complaint of Priest Geoffrey I’m sure.
1890’s-1920’s was the pinnacle of human culture. Keep in mind that I have no idea what I’m talking about.
March 7, 2025 at 6:15 PM
1890’s-1920’s was the pinnacle of human culture. Keep in mind that I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Reposted by Cthulu
This week: Acolyte Johnson mixed the summoning incantations for rain and poker chips. On a related note, we now host poker night every Tuesday, real betting optional.
March 7, 2025 at 4:30 PM
This week: Acolyte Johnson mixed the summoning incantations for rain and poker chips. On a related note, we now host poker night every Tuesday, real betting optional.
To-do list: Learn modern human slang
March 7, 2025 at 4:50 AM
To-do list: Learn modern human slang
Just blocked *two* more prostitutes. Btw, I don’t mean to scorn prostitutes, I don’t care what you do with your body and it’s good to make some extra cash every now and then, but I am simply an incomprehensible being, I don’t want it on my page.
March 7, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Just blocked *two* more prostitutes. Btw, I don’t mean to scorn prostitutes, I don’t care what you do with your body and it’s good to make some extra cash every now and then, but I am simply an incomprehensible being, I don’t want it on my page.
I’m honestly really lucky I’m not LIlIth. I can’t imagine what 20 pairs of contacts is like to put on and take off. I have no idea how she’s so cheery all the time.
March 7, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I’m honestly really lucky I’m not LIlIth. I can’t imagine what 20 pairs of contacts is like to put on and take off. I have no idea how she’s so cheery all the time.
Ok so Makrim is finally starting to see that his “activities” were less than stellar, following the news that people have started dying.
March 7, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Ok so Makrim is finally starting to see that his “activities” were less than stellar, following the news that people have started dying.
Dear BlueSky, I never requested a human ass to show up in my feed. I have blocked the sender every time it has happened. I do not want this. Regards, Cthulu.
March 6, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Dear BlueSky, I never requested a human ass to show up in my feed. I have blocked the sender every time it has happened. I do not want this. Regards, Cthulu.
Word is in, my cultists say that my sentiment isn’t uncommon. About half of America (reports pending on other countries) have no spine
March 6, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Word is in, my cultists say that my sentiment isn’t uncommon. About half of America (reports pending on other countries) have no spine
Strongly considering becoming an invertebrate. I already have an exoskeleton (possessing scientists has it’s benefits)
March 6, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Strongly considering becoming an invertebrate. I already have an exoskeleton (possessing scientists has it’s benefits)
America’s really annoying. My tentacles can’t move me fast on land, so I have to hitch a ride sometimes (you may have seen me, you just don’t remember it) but cars are far too small. I would use a train if there were any that weren’t overloaded cargo.
March 6, 2025 at 12:57 PM
America’s really annoying. My tentacles can’t move me fast on land, so I have to hitch a ride sometimes (you may have seen me, you just don’t remember it) but cars are far too small. I would use a train if there were any that weren’t overloaded cargo.
Now commences the weird human tradition of putting the remains of creatures or items subjected to destruction by fire
March 5, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Now commences the weird human tradition of putting the remains of creatures or items subjected to destruction by fire
Crase sent me a link to a twitter post. I unknowingly clicked it, and was brought to a world even worse than the living, writhing nothing that is The Void. (I’d know, I have to get him to show up for meetings)
March 5, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Crase sent me a link to a twitter post. I unknowingly clicked it, and was brought to a world even worse than the living, writhing nothing that is The Void. (I’d know, I have to get him to show up for meetings)
Searching various different nazi phrases into the BlueSky searchbar has given me newfound faith in you guys
March 5, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Searching various different nazi phrases into the BlueSky searchbar has given me newfound faith in you guys
POLL: Should I start blocking US ships through the Panama Canal? Y'know, enact my own "tariffs" on this guy?
March 5, 2025 at 3:41 AM
POLL: Should I start blocking US ships through the Panama Canal? Y'know, enact my own "tariffs" on this guy?
I apologise on behalf of my colleague, Makrim, for taking advantage of the idiots in Texas. He "couldn't miss such a great opportunity" to "punish the silly people of gun land" by causing a measels outbreak. He isn't sorry at all but I am.
March 5, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I apologise on behalf of my colleague, Makrim, for taking advantage of the idiots in Texas. He "couldn't miss such a great opportunity" to "punish the silly people of gun land" by causing a measels outbreak. He isn't sorry at all but I am.
If I were to send storms over to Isreal, what would be the most effective place? Rhetorical, of course
March 4, 2025 at 9:51 PM
If I were to send storms over to Isreal, what would be the most effective place? Rhetorical, of course
Shoutout the onion for making satire even an all-powerful paranormal entity from before time itself can understand
March 4, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Shoutout the onion for making satire even an all-powerful paranormal entity from before time itself can understand
Why does everyone hate me? I'm always cordial with people, and I only possess people occasionally
March 4, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Why does everyone hate me? I'm always cordial with people, and I only possess people occasionally
If anyone asks, I'll be on vacation for the next few days. I'm going to my vacation home in the Cape of Storms.
March 4, 2025 at 6:25 PM
If anyone asks, I'll be on vacation for the next few days. I'm going to my vacation home in the Cape of Storms.