Truly cannot overstate how thrilled I am to hear you get into your Petrarch hate! I once heard a lecture where the prof proposed Petrarch publicised a fake death date (so he'd died specifically on his 70th birthday and have a ~perfect~ lifespan) and that is the conspiracy theory I believe the most!

Depends on how much water it is and how involved the rest of the recipe is. Risotto for one, water gets boiled in the kettle, baked mac and cheese, big pot of water on the stove

George, our office's emotional support hot dog (aka our director's dog)

sir with all due respect when I go to bed tonight I have to know if I have a thing on the calendar tomorrow and at exactly what kind, or else I’ll die