I need y’all to do less wannabe discourse and more actual news and jokes please

the infinite michelada (I add one ingredient every few sips to fix the balance and the glass is never empty)

for some reason I have chosen this weekend to get chippy on twitter

watching the same video of me looking hot for the 1500th time today…the leo rising won I fear

if I get annoyed by one (1) thing on a thursday I have no choice but to go somewhere and drink a $20 cocktail under a disco ball!!

attending my weekly guest lecture (person ranting loudly on my train car) but unfortunately it still needs a few rounds of peer review

trying to find a non-insane person to take my room is going about as well as you would expect

thinking about the time I went to a job interview and one of the employees there was a guy who once put me on his shoulders at the pavilion on fire island

looking forward to being even more unhinged over here