Crystal Phillips
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crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Crystal Phillips
@crystalphillips13.bsky.social
67 followers 68 following 33 posts
Follow my Kentucky Conjurer profile for witchcraft events and projects: @kentuckyconjurer.bsky.social

I post weird stuff and sass.
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crystalphillips13.bsky.social
A man went to the movies and was surprised to find a woman with a big collie sitting in front of him. Even more amazing was the fact that the dog always laughed in the right places through the comedy. "Excuse me," the man said to the woman, "but I think it's astounding that your dog enjoys the movie so much." "I'm surprised myself," she replied. "He hated the book." Graham Foster in Tomahawk, Wisconsin, Leader, quoted by Debbie Christian in Milwaukee Journal
March 3, 2025 at 5:24 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Tank Girl in a denim vest pulling on her biker boot, smoking a cig. Text: I can't let things be this way. We can be wonderful. We can be magnificent. We can turn this shit around.
January 28, 2025 at 2:59 AM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Artist: Cassandra Calin
cassandracalin.tumblr.com
Four panel comic First panel, person with long curly hair sitting on the bed, holding up one bare leg that's covered in leg hair. Second panel, holding up a pair of black, super opaque tights. Third panel, pulling up tights. Fourth panel, walking around in a white dress with black tights and tons of leg hair are sticking out of the tights.
January 27, 2025 at 6:20 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Cornbread Mafia picking out their name:
"What we gonna call ourselves?"
" Don't know. What do we all like?"
"Pot."
"That's too obvious. What else?"
"I dunno. I don't know anyone who don't like cornbread."
#KentuckyLife
Black and white photo of four farmers standing in front of a cornfield and looking out over an irrigation ditch in pensive thought.
January 27, 2025 at 4:24 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Nigel the Muppet conducting the Muppet Orchestra.
January 24, 2025 at 4:36 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
#SouthernLife
How to greet someone in the south. Three panels of a hand on a steering wheel, driving down a country road. Panel 1: 1 finger means "Hey" Panel 2: 2 fingers means "How are y'all?" Panel 3: Entire hand means "How's ya Mom'n 'em?"
January 24, 2025 at 1:38 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Scene from Napoleon Dynamite where Napoleon is feeding Tina, the llama. Xena Warrior Princess has been photoshopped onto Tina so she looks like a centaur. Text: Xena, eat. Eat the food!
January 24, 2025 at 1:35 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Two ears of corn and a scoop filled with cracked corn. Text: I care, Jimmy. I care.
January 24, 2025 at 1:34 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Woman in colorful outfit with yellow sunglasses lounging on a bench. Text: I'm at the stage of my life where I keep myself out of unnecessary arguments, so even in you tell me 1+1=5 you're absolutely correct, enjoy!
January 24, 2025 at 1:33 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
It literally feels like January 74th.
January 24, 2025 at 1:32 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
For those who wish to send a postcard of support to the Bishop fo Washington for her sermon of love, especially as the Bishop is under attack.

Address: The Rt Revd Mariann Edgar Budde
Episcopal Church House
Mount St Alban
Washington, DC 20016-5094 USA
For those who wish to send a postcard of support to the Bishop fo Washington for her sermon of love, especially as the Bishop is under attack. Address: The Rt Revd Mariann Edgar Budde Episcopal Church House Mount St Alban Washington, DC 20016-5094 USA
January 23, 2025 at 6:30 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Thank you! I've noticed all the freaking bots!

#FuneralHumor
Newspaper clipping Ahlgrim & Sons Ltd. Funeral Parlor & Mini-Golf. 201 N Northwest Hwy, Palatine, Il. Free inside mini golf. call ahead, because play is canceled if there is any funeral work. "We want folks to know we're not so scary; we're people. A funeral parlor is not a dark place, but a safe and secure one.
January 22, 2025 at 9:03 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
It's really weird being on a new SM and trying to make friends as an introvert.

In case anyone is interested, I like vultures and funeral humor.

This one is a fav of mine. A rescue at Wesselman woods that couldn't be released after medical care.

I'll save the funeral humor for another day.
Photo of a red headed vulture stretching its wings while sitting on a bench.
January 22, 2025 at 3:51 AM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
I've been worthless at work today.

My only accomplishment has been aiming my office tv remote through the shop window and turning off the inauguration they have playing.

No one knows it's me.
Black and white photo of Bette Davis in Dark Secret of Harvest Home. She's wearing an old fashioned black dress and surrounded by bushel baskets of vegetables.
January 20, 2025 at 9:19 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Wish I was there right now. No snow. No ice. No inauguration.
image of me, long brown hair in a black shirt and black witch's hat with a floppy brim, standing in the middle of the woods. Black and white photo.
January 20, 2025 at 2:51 PM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
#funeralhumor
Brick pillar at the front of a cemetery which has a sign that reads, danger do not drink cemetery water
January 19, 2025 at 5:42 AM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
This is going to be a rough week.
Hand popping bubble wrap. Text: here, do a line. You'll feel better.
January 19, 2025 at 2:40 AM
crystalphillips13.bsky.social
Illustration of someone leaning up against a tree playing the flute with flowers in their hair. Person lying on stomach next to them says, Do you know 'Taste the Biscuit'?
January 18, 2025 at 2:41 PM