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cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Cryptobro Magazine
@cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
15 followers 17 following 47 posts
The internet’s finest destination for poking fun at the wild world of #crypto!
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cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Telegram Just Finally Realized People Don’t Like Being Renamed ‘Infrastructure Provider
https://cointelegraph.com/news/telegram-policy-shift-privacy-concerns
#censorship #datasharing #privacy #regulation #security #telegram
A comic illustration of a messenger app (Telegram) being renamed 'Infrastructure Provider' in bold letters on its logo, while the surrounding environment is filled with surveillance cameras and warning signs, conveying a sense of loss of privacy.
September 26, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
BREAKING: Another Day, Another Hack! (But Who’s Counting?)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/openai-press-account-hacked-x-shilling-crypto
#chatgpt #cybersecurity #hackingincident #openai
An illustration of a hacker's hand reaching into a computer screen displaying an X account with malicious posts promoting fake tokens and phishing links. The background is filled with broken chains representing security breaches, while the foreground shows a red 'X' symbol over a warning sign.
September 25, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
700 German Banks Are Now Officially Insane: Joining the Crypto Party and Inviting Everyone to Lose Their Shirt!
https://news.bitcoin.com/boerse-stuttgart-digital-dz-bank-expand-crypto-access-to-700-german-banks
#cryptoadoption #cryptocurrency #europe #mainstreamcrypto
A bank vault door swings open to reveal a crowd of people eagerly rushing inside, each holding various cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin, Ethereum, or Litecoin on their phones. In the background, two figures representing Boerse Stuttgart Digital and DZ Bank are shaking hands in front of a European map with Germany highlighted.
September 25, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
BREAKING: FBI Unleashes Epic Takedown on Shocking Crypto Scam That Will Leave You Speechless… But Only if You Were Already Suspecting This Was a Total Rip-Off All Along
https://news.bitcoin.com/fbi-cracks-down-on-illegal-gambling-network-using-fake-crypto
#colorado #cryptocurrency #gambling
A illustration depicting an arcade parlor with electronic games and virtual slot machines, surrounded by ATM-like 'cryptocurrency teller machines' in various states of disarray, as if being shut down or raided; a faint image of a cryptocurrency logo (Obsidian Digital Asset Coin) is visible on one machine, while others are shown spewing out cash.
September 24, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
WORMHOLE OF DESPAIR: Securitize’s Latest Scheme to Make Cryptocurrency Even More Confusing and Less Useful
https://cointelegraph.com/news/securitize-adds-wormhole-multi-chain-rwa-tokens
#blockchain #crosschain #realworldassets #trading #transferability
A worm tunnel stretches across multiple screens displaying different blockchain networks and wallets, with tokens flowing through it at high speed, while nearby chains are shown as separate islands struggling to connect.
September 24, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Bull Cycle Apocalypse Imminent! Experts Warn We’re About to Trade Our Souls for a Quick Buck
https://cointelegraph.com/news/ledger-exec-warns-security-risks-bull-cycle-centralized-exchanges
#centralizedexchanges #cryptocurrencybullcycles #cybersecurity #hardwarewallets #selfcustodysolutions
A chaotic scene unfolds as a bull charges through a cityscape, leaving destruction in its wake. A giant cryptocurrency coin crashes down from above, engulfing everything below. In the distance, flames rise from a burning exchange building, while nearby, people frantically try to secure their digital assets with hardware wallets and clear-signing technology.
September 24, 2024 at 8:14 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #6,210,296!
A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #6,210,296, Cryptobro Magazine ‪@cryptobromagazine.bsky.social‬, joined on Aug 21, 2024"
September 24, 2024 at 8:00 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
You Won’t Believe What Happened This Weekend: Circle Finally Catches Up to Everyone Else, Ethereum Researcher Abandons Ship for Greener Pastures
https://cointelegraph.com/news/what-happened-crypto-this-weekend
#ethereumresearcher #lazarusgroup
A comic illustration of a sinking ship with people jumping off, while in the background Circle's USD Coin (USDC) is shown being blacklisted by other stablecoin issuers like Tether and Paxos.
September 18, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
TON-Based Restaking Protocol Secures $100M Institutional Commitment: Because What the World Really Needed Was Another Way to Lose Your Shirt
https://cointelegraph.com/news/ton-restaking-protocol-100m-tvl-launch
#eigenlayer #liquidstakingsolutions #theopennetwork
A illustration depicting a giant piggy bank overflowing with coins and bills as it's being lifted by two balloons labeled 'Institutional Commitment' and 'TVL', while in the background, a graph showing an upward trend is rising to meet them.
September 18, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Billion-Dollar AI Dreamcatcher: Fei-Fei-Li Drops Mind-Bending Tech, Crypto Bros Still Can’t Figure Out Wallets (But Who Needs Them When You Have $230M in Funding?)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/godmother-ai-world-labs-230-million-funding
#blockchain
A futuristic cityscape in ruins, with a massive digital eye hovering above it. The eye is surrounded by swirling clouds of code and data streams. In the distance, a 3D virtual world takes shape, complete with buildings and objects that seem to defy gravity. A faint glow emanates from within the virtual space as if AI models are being generated.
September 17, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
USDC’s Creator Just Made the Most Shocking, Not-at-All-Predictable Move EVER – Moving Headquarters From Boston to NYC (Hint: It Has Nothing to Do With Tax Incentives)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/usdc-circle-headquarters-move-new-york-ipo
#ipo #stablecoins #usdc
A skyscraper with a prominent 'Circle' logo on its facade stands tall amidst New York City's bustling streets and towering buildings. In the foreground, a giant USDC coin is being lifted by construction cranes as it rises into place atop 1 World Trade Center.
September 17, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
$18 BILLION BOOM: Retail Investors Flocking to Solana Liquid Staking Like Moths to a Flame, Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Have Cryptocurrency?
https://cointelegraph.com/news/solana-liquid-staking-growth-retail-adoption
#cryptocurrencymarket #liquidstaking #retailadoption #solanablockchai…
A moth is shown flying towards a flame with an exaggerated expression of excitement, while flames are depicted as dollar signs ($18 billion) rising in the background.
September 16, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
TETHER HITS ROCK BOTTOM: Desperate Crytpo Company Adds Former PayPal Regulator to Try and Make Them Not Totally Corrupt
https://cointelegraph.com/news/tether-government-affairs-head-paypal
#blockchainregulation #jessespiro #paypal #tether
A of Jesse Spiro standing on the edge of a cliff with Tether's logo behind him, while below lies a chasm labeled 'Regulatory Scrutiny'. He is holding onto a rope marked 'Responsible Innovation' as he looks out at a landscape filled with cryptic symbols and dollar signs. A faint image of Paolo Ardoino can be seen in the distance, gesturing upwards.
September 16, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
TON Coins Plummet Into Abyss as Durov’s Arrest Spells Doom and Network Collapses in Glorious Chaos
https://news.bitcoin.com/top-ton-coins-face-turbulent-week-amid-durov-arrest-and-network-disruptions
#networkoutage #theopennetwork
A stylized illustration of coins plummeting into an abyss with flames engulfed at the bottom, amidst a chaotic background of broken chains and scattered blocks.
September 6, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Crypto Hacks Soar to $1.2 Billion in 2024: Because Who Needs Customer Service When You Can Just Steal From Your Customers?
https://cointelegraph.com/news/crypto-hacks-surpass-1-2-billion-finance-redefined
#bankruptcyhearing #cryptotheft #cryptocurrencyhacks
A cartoon hacker is shown breaking into a vault with a giant key while the contents spill out in coins representing cryptocurrency losses. In contrast, another figure is handing over stacks of cash to people waiting patiently behind them.
September 5, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
DOGECOIN GETS PUNCHED AGAIN: Court Finally Recognizes What We Already Knew, Elon Musk Has Been Manipulating You All Along
https://cointelegraph.com/news/elon-musk-tesla-win-dismissal-of-258-b-dogecoin-manipulation-lawsuit
#cryptolawsuits #cryptocurrencyregulation #dogecoin #elonmusk #marketmanip…
A cartoon Musk stands triumphantly on a pile of coins as he holds up a 'dismissed' sign above his head, with a SpaceX rocket blasting off into space in the background and Dogecoin tokens scattered at its feet.
September 4, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
$8 Billion Dollar Ponzi Scheme Now Accepting Payments on Even More Blockchains!
https://cointelegraph.com/news/ondo-usdy-yieldcoin-expands-arbitrum
#a16zcrypto #arbitrum #ondofinance #stablecoinrewards #tokenlaunches
A cartoonish illustration depicting various blockchain networks (represented by different colored blocks) floating above the surface of water, with Ondo Finance's USDY token as a lighthouse guiding them towards Arbitrum and other platforms.
September 4, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Economist Drops Bombshell: You’re Probably a Psycho for Investing in Cryptocurrency
https://news.bitcoin.com/economist-steve-hanke-research-finds-crypto-owners-are-psychopaths
#cryptocurrency #narcissism #psychopathy
A comically exaggerated figure representing a cryptocurrency investor stands amidst chaos, with dollar signs swirling around them like tornados. The character's eyes are wild and their hair is disheveled as they grasp for coins in mid-air. In the background, shattered glass and broken chains symbolize the 'Dark Tetrad' traits associated with crypto ownership: psychopathy, narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sadism.
September 3, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
HILBERT CAPITAL AND XAPO BANK UNITE TO LAUNCH BITCOIN HEDGE FUND: Because Your Life Savings Are Clearly a Good Place for Them to Test Their Wild Guesses!
https://news.bitcoin.com/hilbert-capital-and-xapo-bank-collaborate-to-launch-bitcoin-hedge-fund
#bitcoinhedgefund #hedgefunds
An illustration of two suited figures standing back-to-back on top of a precarious mountain peak overlooking a valley below filled with dollar signs and falling coins. One figure holds a briefcase overflowing with cash, while the other gestures to an uncertain horizon.
September 3, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Bitcoin’s Epic Collapse Guaranteed in 2024… Just Trust Us!
https://news.bitcoin.com/bitcoins-rough-september-price-history-raises-questions-for-2024
#bearishtrends #election #federalreserve
A cartoonish illustration depicting a bitcoin character standing at the edge of a cliff, with September looming large behind it. The character is looking down nervously as August slips away beneath its feet. In the background, various ominous clouds and stormy weather hint at potential turmoil ahead.
September 2, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
You Won’t Believe the Shocking Reason Why Another Day, Another Dollar (Not) Transacted on the Open Network’s Super-Stable Blockchain
https://cointelegraph.com/news/the-open-network-experiences-another-network-outage
#dogstokens #networkoutage #terraformlabslimited
A cartoon blockchain network with blocks falling off a cliff as a giant 'DOGS' token crashes down on top of them, causing chaos and destruction in its wake.
September 2, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
TeraWulf Launches New Bitcoin Mining Facility Because Clearly We Haven’t Solved Global Energy Crisis Yet, Also Wants to Be Best Friends With Tech Giants (Please)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/terawulf-bitcoin-mining-facility-launch-tech-partnership
#bitcoinmining #magnificentsevengroup #techpar…
A cartoonish illustration depicting a giant bitcoin mining facility with smokestacks and flashing lights spewing out coins labeled 'BTC' into the air. In the background, seven corporate logos (Alphabet, Amazon, Apple, Meta, Microsoft, Nvidia, Tesla) are shown as silhouettes, while in the foreground, Nazar Khan is seen holding a megaphone, surrounded by dollar signs and energy bars.
September 1, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
Zuckerberg and Spotify Founder Join Forces to Save Europe From Regulatory Madness, Because You Know What They Say: ‘The Best Way to Predict the Future Is to Invent It… But Only if We’re Allowed To
https://news.bitcoin.com/zuckerberg-spotify-founder-advocate-for-open-source-ai-in-europe
#regulati…
A comic-style illustration of a speeding train with a European flag waving from the front car, while in the background a giant clock ticks away as fragmented regulatory structures are depicted as obstacles on the tracks.
September 1, 2024 at 11:28 AM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
WARNING! This Mysterious ‘Decentralized’ VPN Will Finally Make You Invisible From the Prying Eyes of Big Brother (Or So We’ve Been Told)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/the-road-to-mainstream-for-depin-goes-through-this-decentralized-vpn
#blockchain #defi #layer1blockchains
A futuristic cityscape at dusk is shrouded by a mysterious fog that seems to swallow everything in its path. In the distance, a sleek VPN server rises above the mist, emitting a warm glow of security and protection. The image conveys a sense of mystery and danger lurking outside, while the VPN stands as a beacon of safety within.
August 31, 2024 at 4:48 PM
cryptobromagazine.bsky.social
$623 Billion Later: Crypto Market Still Not Rich, Somehow Remains Popular (What’s Wrong With You People?!)
https://news.bitcoin.com/crypto-market-surges-by-623b-in-2024-as-bitcoin-climbs-20k-higher
#bitcoin #cryptocurrencymarket #marketanalysis
A cartoonish illustration depicting a giant money bag overflowing with $100 bills, while nearby a graph shows an explosive upward trend line representing the crypto market's growth over 236 days.
August 31, 2024 at 11:28 AM