🇨🇦Space Pope Emeritus🇺🇦
@crocodyluspontifex.bsky.social
When Earth has freed itself of money, markets, and libertarianism, it'll be invited into the Galactic Conclave. You blockheads shoulda been done with this shit 1000 years ago.
DM's welcome! They will be screened by Cardinal Komodo and archived in a bin.
DM's welcome! They will be screened by Cardinal Komodo and archived in a bin.
We should warily welcome Marge's personality transplant, but must also use this window of apparent sanity to demand a detailed explanation of that Jewish space-laser business.
(The only acceptable answer is "I had a long psychotic break and I apologize for my words and actions. Mazel tov.")
(The only acceptable answer is "I had a long psychotic break and I apologize for my words and actions. Mazel tov.")
November 18, 2025 at 5:39 PM
We should warily welcome Marge's personality transplant, but must also use this window of apparent sanity to demand a detailed explanation of that Jewish space-laser business.
(The only acceptable answer is "I had a long psychotic break and I apologize for my words and actions. Mazel tov.")
(The only acceptable answer is "I had a long psychotic break and I apologize for my words and actions. Mazel tov.")
What I'm hearing is that Kash Patel can't get a date without spending 60 million bucks.
November 3, 2025 at 5:27 PM
What I'm hearing is that Kash Patel can't get a date without spending 60 million bucks.
The only difference between Trump and Immortan Joe is that Joe was probably physically imposing when he was young.
October 28, 2025 at 7:30 PM
The only difference between Trump and Immortan Joe is that Joe was probably physically imposing when he was young.
Reminder for Canadians: Kings are cool with us, but come out for all the NO TYRANTS rallies happening across Canada this weekend! We'll be the ones facing south, wearing looks of disapproval.
October 13, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Reminder for Canadians: Kings are cool with us, but come out for all the NO TYRANTS rallies happening across Canada this weekend! We'll be the ones facing south, wearing looks of disapproval.
Encyclical From the ... whatever this chair is ...
DO NOT GIVE Republicans a seat at your table; they'll just be there to piss in the soup.
Verdict: SHUN THEM. Shun them hard, baby.
DO NOT GIVE Republicans a seat at your table; they'll just be there to piss in the soup.
Verdict: SHUN THEM. Shun them hard, baby.
October 13, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Encyclical From the ... whatever this chair is ...
DO NOT GIVE Republicans a seat at your table; they'll just be there to piss in the soup.
Verdict: SHUN THEM. Shun them hard, baby.
DO NOT GIVE Republicans a seat at your table; they'll just be there to piss in the soup.
Verdict: SHUN THEM. Shun them hard, baby.
Sudden Thought ... Do the creepy tech-bros and their Republican lackeys WANT Americans to stop paying their Federal income taxes? Because that's clearly what's going to happen.
After all, most of the money's effectively just being stolen by the already-rich at this point.
After all, most of the money's effectively just being stolen by the already-rich at this point.
October 7, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Sudden Thought ... Do the creepy tech-bros and their Republican lackeys WANT Americans to stop paying their Federal income taxes? Because that's clearly what's going to happen.
After all, most of the money's effectively just being stolen by the already-rich at this point.
After all, most of the money's effectively just being stolen by the already-rich at this point.
It's weird how the USA is getting simultaneously more frightening AND easier to ignore. It's like fighting the Hulk, but he keeps punching himself in the dick.
October 3, 2025 at 11:53 PM
It's weird how the USA is getting simultaneously more frightening AND easier to ignore. It's like fighting the Hulk, but he keeps punching himself in the dick.
I'm seeing a lot more Amazon ads than I used to. Have wrenches been thrown into Bozos's money-printing machine?
I know that a lot of us non-Americans are done with it. (Is it still a "boycott" if there's nothing they could do to bring us back?)
I know that a lot of us non-Americans are done with it. (Is it still a "boycott" if there's nothing they could do to bring us back?)
October 3, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I'm seeing a lot more Amazon ads than I used to. Have wrenches been thrown into Bozos's money-printing machine?
I know that a lot of us non-Americans are done with it. (Is it still a "boycott" if there's nothing they could do to bring us back?)
I know that a lot of us non-Americans are done with it. (Is it still a "boycott" if there's nothing they could do to bring us back?)
Hey, fellow gamers!! Electronic Arts has been bought out for $55 billion by Jared fucking #Kushner and #Saudi fucking Arabia. Lucky for us, there are many thousands of fantastic non-EA games!
I'm not sure what their plan is, but unless it's to spark a boycott and lose money, they're doing it wrong.
I'm not sure what their plan is, but unless it's to spark a boycott and lose money, they're doing it wrong.
September 29, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Some sensible Gen-X wisdom for the 800 Yankee generals and admirals whom "You-Can't-Spell-Incompetence-Without" Pete Hegseth has summoned to Washington ...
Just don't go.
Exert your collective muscle with this one tiny, peaceful, passive-aggressive mutiny; then go back to work.
Just don't go.
Just don't go.
Exert your collective muscle with this one tiny, peaceful, passive-aggressive mutiny; then go back to work.
Just don't go.
September 26, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Some sensible Gen-X wisdom for the 800 Yankee generals and admirals whom "You-Can't-Spell-Incompetence-Without" Pete Hegseth has summoned to Washington ...
Just don't go.
Exert your collective muscle with this one tiny, peaceful, passive-aggressive mutiny; then go back to work.
Just don't go.
Just don't go.
Exert your collective muscle with this one tiny, peaceful, passive-aggressive mutiny; then go back to work.
Just don't go.
If you start thinking of the "Dark Web" as the "non-corporate Web," it suddenly becomes a lot less scary.
September 25, 2025 at 4:57 PM
If you start thinking of the "Dark Web" as the "non-corporate Web," it suddenly becomes a lot less scary.
If Headlines Were Honest:
Nazis Rally in Arizona to Honour Nazi Victim of Nazi-On-Nazi Violence
Nazis Rally in Arizona to Honour Nazi Victim of Nazi-On-Nazi Violence
September 21, 2025 at 3:39 AM
If Headlines Were Honest:
Nazis Rally in Arizona to Honour Nazi Victim of Nazi-On-Nazi Violence
Nazis Rally in Arizona to Honour Nazi Victim of Nazi-On-Nazi Violence
Just checking in to affirm that Charlie Kirk was a disgusting man, and that the world is better for having lost him. I eagerly await my FBI indictment for ... I dunno, being too sane, maybe?
September 18, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Just checking in to affirm that Charlie Kirk was a disgusting man, and that the world is better for having lost him. I eagerly await my FBI indictment for ... I dunno, being too sane, maybe?
Huh.. So weird that Google autocompletes "Trump stro..." to "stroller". I thought for sure it'd be "stronk".
September 15, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Huh.. So weird that Google autocompletes "Trump stro..." to "stroller". I thought for sure it'd be "stronk".
@atrupar.com I bet he has no idea that Jamaica's native language is English.
September 14, 2025 at 2:21 PM
@atrupar.com I bet he has no idea that Jamaica's native language is English.
Americans are getting shit returns on the money they give the federal government. All that work average citizens do, and it doesn't even guarantee them proper healthcare, for fuck's sake.
Anyway, for those who think they're powerless against Trump, I have two words: TAX REVOLT.
Anyway, for those who think they're powerless against Trump, I have two words: TAX REVOLT.
September 14, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Americans are getting shit returns on the money they give the federal government. All that work average citizens do, and it doesn't even guarantee them proper healthcare, for fuck's sake.
Anyway, for those who think they're powerless against Trump, I have two words: TAX REVOLT.
Anyway, for those who think they're powerless against Trump, I have two words: TAX REVOLT.
Seems to me like Kirk's kids have a better shot at becoming decent people now. Their mom's a piece of work too, so I wish them luck and orphanhood.
September 14, 2025 at 7:13 AM
Seems to me like Kirk's kids have a better shot at becoming decent people now. Their mom's a piece of work too, so I wish them luck and orphanhood.
I wonder what percentage of Charlie Kirk memorial services will just be straight-up dance parties.
September 13, 2025 at 4:29 PM
I wonder what percentage of Charlie Kirk memorial services will just be straight-up dance parties.
Overheard in Canada.
"OH MY GOD, Captain Kirk died!? That's awf ... What? WHO died? Who the fuck is that? ... Oh ... Anyway, I think my turtle's allergic to radishes. Crazy, eh?"
"OH MY GOD, Captain Kirk died!? That's awf ... What? WHO died? Who the fuck is that? ... Oh ... Anyway, I think my turtle's allergic to radishes. Crazy, eh?"
September 11, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Overheard in Canada.
"OH MY GOD, Captain Kirk died!? That's awf ... What? WHO died? Who the fuck is that? ... Oh ... Anyway, I think my turtle's allergic to radishes. Crazy, eh?"
"OH MY GOD, Captain Kirk died!? That's awf ... What? WHO died? Who the fuck is that? ... Oh ... Anyway, I think my turtle's allergic to radishes. Crazy, eh?"
If JD Vance had any dignity at all, he'd drop dead of impostor syndrome.
September 10, 2025 at 6:05 PM
If JD Vance had any dignity at all, he'd drop dead of impostor syndrome.
My current favourite fantasy (that's also pretty likely):
After most of civilization collapses, New Zealand denies landing privileges to Peter Thiel's airplane. After all, they have standards.
After most of civilization collapses, New Zealand denies landing privileges to Peter Thiel's airplane. After all, they have standards.
September 6, 2025 at 6:51 PM
My current favourite fantasy (that's also pretty likely):
After most of civilization collapses, New Zealand denies landing privileges to Peter Thiel's airplane. After all, they have standards.
After most of civilization collapses, New Zealand denies landing privileges to Peter Thiel's airplane. After all, they have standards.
A Modest Proposal: Attention, teenage children of Republican politicians and officials! The next time your parent(s) is/are passed out drunk on the mudroom floor, just go through their briefcases, and show us what you find!
Heroism awaits.
Heroism awaits.
August 25, 2025 at 7:59 PM
A Modest Proposal: Attention, teenage children of Republican politicians and officials! The next time your parent(s) is/are passed out drunk on the mudroom floor, just go through their briefcases, and show us what you find!
Heroism awaits.
Heroism awaits.
Hegseth's campaign slogan if he ever runs for office: "You Can't Spell 'Incompetence' without Pete!!"
July 9, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Hegseth's campaign slogan if he ever runs for office: "You Can't Spell 'Incompetence' without Pete!!"
Europe, Canada, Japan, Oceania, and the rest of the wealthy democracies should start offering foreign aid packages to the impoverished and soon-to-be-desperate red states. I'm really curious as to what the response would be.
July 4, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Europe, Canada, Japan, Oceania, and the rest of the wealthy democracies should start offering foreign aid packages to the impoverished and soon-to-be-desperate red states. I'm really curious as to what the response would be.
I hope the Secret Service investigates everyone tweeting the number 8647, including me. It'd keep them too busy for their drunken whoring, at least for a while.
May 17, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I hope the Secret Service investigates everyone tweeting the number 8647, including me. It'd keep them too busy for their drunken whoring, at least for a while.