Alex\ I'm in the same boat rn. I'm coping so hard telling myself that he's trying his best and all but in reality his best isn't good enough for like anyone in the field handling DID patients. Our system is torn between "Give him a chance" and "Try to find a new one even though that's difficult"

Alex\ At one point I talked about wanting a new therapist specializing in this stuff but I'm so fucking scared of getting another therapist like the second one I had who clocked me and thought I was just making it up for attention because she legit didn't believe in DID and I hid inside myself.

Alex\ Like don't get me wrong, he's been really helpful in helping us sort things we haven't been able to ourselves. However, I constantly get this feeling like we're just uncomfortable for him. Idk if I'm wrong or reading it wrong but like I don't know how to ask.

Alex\ Also, we did have some CT scans on our brain and lungs to make sure it wasn't anything insane outside of just what we are actively trying to get treated already. Everything looked normal. So right now, we're just at the mercy of time and our insurance. We're trying our best.

Alex\ Anyways. This one's now here, as I was shaking and crying in bed, head pounding, vision blurry. Just said to me "I can ease your burden" and I felt myself being lifted up again. I said "If you stay, you're stuck with this, too." and we traded wordlessly, gently. Guess he's here to stay.

Alex\ For some reason, it's another introject from some form of media we "apparently" interacted with years ago very intimately but most of us have NO recollection of it, just a save file and Cass being brought up out of our brain out of nowhere years later which caused confusion. System lore, ig.

Alex\ I need to talk to my therapist again about my DP/DR bs without making it sound like I'm being narcissistic and more like "HELP THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP" so he'll actually fucking understand this time. The symptoms have been so much worse lately.

Alex\ People constantly say shit like "Ruth can't be evil, he's a good boy" and then he does shit like this

Bro I been saying this shit for YEARS, RUTH IS EVIL. ONLY LIKE 4 PEOPLE HAVE ACCEPTED THIS AS FACT.

Lumi\ I feel like it's probably more a physical thing but also these things intensified so bad last night with a lot of shaking on top that I couldn't stop and I was like "ok but this isn't a panic attack" until I started actually panicking and then decided to take a klonopin before bed. Scary shit.

Screw the cast time. Shooting Star QTE button mash.

Iz\ Even then, it's hard to find... "kind people" in these communities, so we kind of avoided them for a good while.