Crash Blossom
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crashblossom.bsky.social
Crash Blossom
@crashblossom.bsky.social
80 followers 240 following 500 posts
Looking at the data and simply laughing
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crashblossom.bsky.social
I have questions and concerns
A screenshot of Google Maps showing the location of a Zumiez with a quoted review that just says: "DIE ANYWAYS !"
September 8, 2025 at 7:27 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
A green plastic bottle that reads: 64% more shirk per load** OmegaMart Avoid! Ultra Ritualistic Reusable Detergent Vessel. The solution for everything! Existential Dread, Impending deadlines, Future Disappointment. **Compared to leading ultra ritualistic detergent vessels
August 26, 2025 at 1:03 AM
crashblossom.bsky.social
I was recently reminded of this guy in that genre
A tweet from @jiankui_he showing him sitting in his lab in a labcoat. It reads "Good morning bitches. How many embryos have you gene edited today?"
August 15, 2025 at 11:09 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
An ad with a plastic bag put over a car mirror for an inscrutable reason. Text: Put a Plastic Bag Over Your Car Mirror Life Hack: always put a plastic bag over your car mirror when traveling alone, here's why... Click Here
July 12, 2025 at 1:59 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
An image of two cowboys exuberantly riding horses through a field with the caption "Stock footage does not necessarily represent their friendship", from the movie Pepsi, Where's My Jet?
June 23, 2025 at 1:08 AM
crashblossom.bsky.social
The headline "Christopher Walken: I've been married for over 50 years. I live in a house. I'm a very normal person" but Christopher Walken is scratched out and replaced with Burt Goodman, his character from Severance
February 22, 2025 at 4:14 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
An ad that shows a person opening their shirt to reveal they have taped a cotton ball to their stomach with the text "Tape a Cotton Ball to Your Belly Button at Night"
February 20, 2025 at 4:33 AM
crashblossom.bsky.social
Here's one such quote
A page from Jurafsky & Martin's Speech and Language Processing that opens with a quote from Noam Chomsky complaining probability of sentences and then a second quote from Fred Jelinek complaining that linguists actively impede speech recognition. It then continues with a paragraph invoking Cassandra of Troy to say that the ability to predict things isn't always good. Big "now it is our turn to study statistical mechanics" energy
January 11, 2025 at 3:56 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
This is the only one of these I'd ever consider doing even if this ad is weirdly porny
An ad showing a woman chugging from a dark green plastic gallon bottle in a kitchen. For some reason she doesn't seem to be wearing a shirt. The caption reads: Take a Swig of Olive Oil at Night... This Is What Happens
January 10, 2025 at 3:22 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
Unfortunately it already has struck me:
An avocado that is mostly pit, in defiance of God's law
December 31, 2024 at 11:38 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
Without downloading any new pics, what's your energy going into 2025
A picture of a basketball game on TV with an info box in the corner reading: Greek Mythology 101 Who is Sisyphus? *King of Ephyra, devious tyrant *Would kill visitors of Ephyra to show off his power, which angered the gods *Punishment: roll a boulder up a hill, would roll back down each time *Must repeat this action for all eternity
December 28, 2024 at 5:36 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
On a recent flight it showed images from Wikipedia and I couldn't help noticing the author of this one was a lil sus
A picture of an inflight map showing local points of interest. This one attributes the picture to a Wikipedia contributor named Sturmgewehr88
December 9, 2024 at 2:19 AM
crashblossom.bsky.social
I see Bluesky has its own porn spam bots now. Big milestone
Two random users with suspiciously identical naming schemes have followed me
December 6, 2024 at 5:30 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
A fresh one in intrusive thoughts: the ad campaign
A weird ad that shows someone pouring isopropyl alcohol into a spray bottle with the caption "Spray Alcohol On Your Bed at Night and Just Watch"
November 14, 2024 at 12:37 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
I have been doing an alumni book club version of my college's intro humanities class, which is great, but/and I am losing my mind at this prof putting Gilgamesh/Enkidu fanart in his lecture slides
Two depictions of Gilgamesh and Enkidu side by side, one in an ancient Sumerian art style, and another more modern one where Gilgamesh is tenderly kissing Enkidu on the forehead
November 3, 2024 at 9:03 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
A screenshot from the game Pentiment where Saint Grobian, dressed as a medieval fool, is saying in front of a royal court including Socrates for some reason, "A whole lot of inconceivable shit happens on this hell of an Earth, Andreas."
October 31, 2024 at 1:00 AM
crashblossom.bsky.social
Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #273,721!
A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #273,721, Crash Blossom ‪@crashblossom.bsky.social‬, joined on Jul 7, 2023"
September 24, 2024 at 12:38 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
Post a meme made by you
It's the bus driver from the Simpsons driving the bus and saying "don't make me tap the sign", but the sign says "a computer can never be held accountable, therefore a computer must never make a management decision"
September 1, 2024 at 2:26 AM
crashblossom.bsky.social
🫣
My daylist which says: stimming animalistic Saturday afternoon You listened to strut and funny on Saturdays in the afternoon. Here's some: stimming, animalistic, chaotic, scratch, dopamine, and rage
August 17, 2024 at 8:36 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
These are gonna be wild when they ripen
A tomato plant chock full of huge green tomatoes
July 28, 2024 at 3:01 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
I've been waiting to find out what this mystery volunteer bramble was (there were multiple options as it was a refugee from neighboring garden). We got raspberries people. This is not a drill
The top of a raspberry bush with some ripening raspberries. There's also a morning glory vine on there but I'd appreciate it if you ignored it as I was too lazy to remove it.
July 13, 2024 at 3:53 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
The tweet from @lovemywife3 stating I want to change my username
July 5, 2024 at 3:16 AM
crashblossom.bsky.social
Aw yeah
A picture of a bag of water with pennies in it with the caption "Hang a bag of water with pennies outside your door"
June 23, 2024 at 5:10 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
A picture of a mailbox with some loose dryer sheets inside, with the text: Place a dryer sheet in your mailbox, here's why...
June 10, 2024 at 8:53 PM
crashblossom.bsky.social
A picture of a bathtub covered in blue dish soap and a bottle of Dawn, with the caption, "Always Squirt Dish Soap in Your Bath at Night if Alone, Here's Why"
June 1, 2024 at 3:35 PM