Craig Woods
@craigstevenwoods.bsky.social
In my heart I am an actor, singer, and man about town. Unfortunately my heart is not a good agent. I think will give my spleen a try next.
He was probably quoting what his victims heard him say back on the island..
February 4, 2026 at 1:27 AM
He was probably quoting what his victims heard him say back on the island..
That's how I started my Best Man toast.
January 29, 2026 at 2:50 PM
That's how I started my Best Man toast.
Good thing they were living within their means, it might have been a Tomahawk Steak. Also take it as you will but it might have been a large frozen fish if it were Friday, and they were good Catholics...then again if they were good Catholics someone might have turned the other cheek. So complicated.
January 27, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Good thing they were living within their means, it might have been a Tomahawk Steak. Also take it as you will but it might have been a large frozen fish if it were Friday, and they were good Catholics...then again if they were good Catholics someone might have turned the other cheek. So complicated.
Did she try Rice Krispies Treats?
January 15, 2026 at 2:45 PM
Did she try Rice Krispies Treats?
Shot dead inside?...hmmm....but the drag marks though... 😉
January 15, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Shot dead inside?...hmmm....but the drag marks though... 😉
I'm thinking....I'm THINKING!
a man in a suit stands with his arms crossed
ALT: a man in a suit stands with his arms crossed
media.tenor.com
January 9, 2026 at 2:26 PM
I'm thinking....I'm THINKING!
"Calm? Do "murder" and "calm" go together? Calm and murder?"
January 7, 2026 at 9:54 PM
"Calm? Do "murder" and "calm" go together? Calm and murder?"
"But you didn't do that, did you...?"
January 2, 2026 at 2:32 PM
"But you didn't do that, did you...?"
I wonder what Angela got him for his birthday? Maybe naming rights to her next child?
#PookyNoodlin
#PookyNoodlin
December 16, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I wonder what Angela got him for his birthday? Maybe naming rights to her next child?
#PookyNoodlin
#PookyNoodlin
Much the same secrecy as the Jackie Kennedy Whitehouse makeover, sans the decency, good taste, and humanity. OY!
December 16, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Much the same secrecy as the Jackie Kennedy Whitehouse makeover, sans the decency, good taste, and humanity. OY!
I don't understand the headline...is her husband lost inside her somewhere?
BTW someone should tell Pastor Joel that Neon Green is NOT his color. They should also tell him where to stick that Rudy Vallée megaphone.
BTW someone should tell Pastor Joel that Neon Green is NOT his color. They should also tell him where to stick that Rudy Vallée megaphone.
December 12, 2025 at 2:49 PM
I don't understand the headline...is her husband lost inside her somewhere?
BTW someone should tell Pastor Joel that Neon Green is NOT his color. They should also tell him where to stick that Rudy Vallée megaphone.
BTW someone should tell Pastor Joel that Neon Green is NOT his color. They should also tell him where to stick that Rudy Vallée megaphone.
Depository....Suppository...common mistake.
Now where did I put those office receipts...?
Now where did I put those office receipts...?
December 12, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Depository....Suppository...common mistake.
Now where did I put those office receipts...?
Now where did I put those office receipts...?
Adding a sweet touch of irony the cat's name was Garfield and the roommate's name was Lasagna....
December 2, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Adding a sweet touch of irony the cat's name was Garfield and the roommate's name was Lasagna....
His search continues for the Giant Hamster who will pilot it...
December 1, 2025 at 7:38 AM
His search continues for the Giant Hamster who will pilot it...
Save me a leg....or an arm...you know...whatever's left.
November 28, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Save me a leg....or an arm...you know...whatever's left.
"....Now as I was saying...put the money in a bag and no one gets hur....what do you mean I have to pay 10 cents for a bag? Wow things sure have changed..."
November 25, 2025 at 5:27 AM
"....Now as I was saying...put the money in a bag and no one gets hur....what do you mean I have to pay 10 cents for a bag? Wow things sure have changed..."
I agree, give the public what they want...etc. etc..
November 21, 2025 at 2:48 AM
I agree, give the public what they want...etc. etc..
Now CUT THAT OUT!!
November 21, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Now CUT THAT OUT!!
This is what I get for refusing to use AI...that version looks more like @benmank77.bsky.social
November 20, 2025 at 1:29 AM
This is what I get for refusing to use AI...that version looks more like @benmank77.bsky.social
I'm so terribly sorry...but I had to...
November 20, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I'm so terribly sorry...but I had to...
His prison name is gonna be Dumbo...
October 31, 2025 at 1:44 PM
His prison name is gonna be Dumbo...
I guess it just goes to show you don't need a soul to find your soulmate.
October 31, 2025 at 4:31 AM
I guess it just goes to show you don't need a soul to find your soulmate.
His prison nickname is gonna be Dumbo....
October 31, 2025 at 4:23 AM
His prison nickname is gonna be Dumbo....