oh did you
feel that panic in you
the panic was new
in this you
the new you
the old you knows this panic well
knows its hell
oh how you fell
bc the new you isnt even on the brink
despite words and thoughts you clearly think
you know you make me panic and shrink
so feel panic you detest
i did my best

i know you
at least i think i do
i always think of you
its the least i can do
allow your residence
in exchange for penance
worshiping you with reverence

try to think on you
are you like me too
is it invisible to you
because i couldnt be scarce too?
fall asleep each night while you cradle me in your hands and head
my heart is your final place to rest

in the mornings, i wake up alone
drown out the noise with my phone
better to see shootings than to imagine my own
can i burn myself for a message
is that my rite of passage?

all i wanted to
do was be for you
i was made to do
what you want me to
but i sit in the bottom of a bin
crushed by other dolls you remember more than me

how i miss you when you're someone else
i have to trust them to take care of yourself
but they're someone else
i know you, you say better than anyone else
they're not you
you're someone else

its not fair
its not fair that you're there while i'm here
its not fair that i make you pull me up when ive already an elevator
its not fair that you got there alone
i would have broken my laced fingers to be the step you needed
its not fair

let myself sink
into you
take a drink
i'll be your mirror, your shrink
i might be gone in a blink

what isn't cool is double standards
I'm forced to mind *your* manners
while you man-handle her?
show me what you're worth
I'll take your orders when you show me they've been earned

ive known many sorrows
ive never been truly comfortable
but i know that i am the happiest ill ever be
please let me die at 23

i neve meant to
be too mch fo yo
all i wanted to do
was talk with yo
but u r not there

you're healing
you say as you pull away
you're healing
I remind myself why I haven't heard you today
you're healing
I fade

if I could eat your lies I would never starve