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Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

670 followers 250 following 1.7K posts

he/him - audhd - trans hottie
queer - polyam - aroace flux
pendragon rules round table member
creator of the 'rat colony' friendship bracelets
moderator on twitch and discord
pegasus pride recipient for cmdr sealed '24
cooperleefmtg@gmail.com

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Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

today's feelings: loneliness and yearning

I wish I had the capacity to have even a small percentage of the love and friendship that those around me have

I'm grateful to those who put up with me

November 25, 2025 at 11:55 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

second favorite 'funny' number 😈💋

November 25, 2025 at 1:35 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

I think I want a sourdough starter... or maybe I've just been watching too many tiktoks and think I can do it.

Does anyone have one and would like to send me some of its spawn?

November 24, 2025 at 9:56 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

having a very midwesterner dinner of mac & cheese with ketchup, and chicken tenders with ranch

November 22, 2025 at 1:35 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Someone called me their favorite Daddy after I was insulted (jokingly) by not being their favorite Dad

Bear
Rat King
Daddy

Collecting titles is nourishment for my ego. Thank you

November 20, 2025 at 10:22 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Super fun time! Always a pleasure playing with Jen and Doni, and @diceanddinosaurs.bsky.social was a cool new person to go against!

Sometimes I put effort into my @infinitokens.com

November 16, 2025 at 2:29 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Goals, tbh

PendragonMTG - MagicCon Atlanta @pendragonmtg.com · 11d

Day 7 of "NO... hear me out... VEMBER"!
A month dedicated to common creatures, aka Arthurs, who could wield a legendary equipment and look hot while doing so.
Brought to you by our newest RRT member,
@cooperleef.bsky.social!

Showing off that he can wield an Excalibur *and* you ;))

#PendragonMTG

Penregon Strongbull
{2}{R}
Creature — Minotaur

{1}, Sacrifice an artifact: This creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn and deals 1 damage to each opponent.

His child-lifting act was second only to his cauldron-punting routine.

2/3
Illustrated by Michael Phillippi

Pendragon MTG
Command Zone = Arthur (common creature) + Excalibur (legendary equipment)
Arthur and Excalibur together determine the deck's color identity
98 commons make up the rest of the deck
Starting life = 30
Commander damage = 21
Infect damage = 10

linktr.ee/PendragonMTG

November 15, 2025 at 7:46 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

I have more words to share.
Cw for mental health

Idk why I posted that, or am posting all of this.
Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf. Maybe I want to try and welcome people in, to really see me, to know me. I want to be real. It's hard being such an extreme introvert who also feels lonely without people. It's brutal.
Life has been a struggle lately.
When I was a teen, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I didn't let anything help. I was on meds for maybe two weeks before stopping them because we were poor and they were expensive and the guilt was too much. So I convinced myself the psychiatrist didn't know what he was talking about. And now, 20+ years later, I'm on the path to get re-diagnosed because the voices have been heavily affecting my life and my relationships with those around me.

For the first time in 14 years, I'm single. I know this will come as a shock to all of you, save for like, four people. We didn't announce it or anything because we've seen the community's reactions to people separating, and the details are nobody's business, including the timeline. We didn't want sides chosen, and enough time has passed that I'm comfortable talking about it. There's no dirty laundry to air. There's still love and respect. It feels weird to say that I live with my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend who are a couple and I'm still financially dependent on and remain legally married so I don't lose my health insurance. It's for our kid. We make it work. We're pretty darn good roommates.

Speaking about relationships, I just finished one. It was so short but taught me so much. Like how I absolutely will not compromise certain boundaries, and that once the trust is gone, it's near impossible for me to grow it again. I dunno. Maybe asking them to not try and date the exes whom I share a home with was too much. The disrespect to my body dysphoria was the assaulting tipping point though. And the emotional manipulation.
So now I'm pushing 40, single, and enjoy having time to myself without feeling like there's expectations I need to meet. But there's part of me who's afraid that I'll never have a companion ever again and that I'm just not meant to be loved or cared for. I don't even know if that's necessarily a bad thing or if that's just the aromatic part of my brain talking and eventually I'll feel lonely and want to share my time and space with someone. Maybe I'll just go back to how I was in my 20s and become incredibly promiscuous. Idk.

Anyway…
Community. Like, the little niche Magic community I found myself in. I've felt a disconnect for a hot second now. I know it's on me. I don't reach out because I don't want to be perceived as clingy, desperate, or annoying.
And then there's the trans Magic community within that little niche. Visibly, I am one of a handful of trans men (or trans masculine people) and probably the most binary of that handful. It's so lonely on this side of the transgender spectrum. I spent 35 years of my life living and presenting as a woman. It's hard to let that go. But I feel ostracized.

This probably isn't a lot for some, but it's a lot for me. I'm hoping to share more as it happens, to open myself up for relatability and genuine human connection.
Thanks for reading.
And thank you to those who left comments, reached out, etc. I do not have the spoons to reach out individually, but I am extremely grateful to every last one of you. The voices didn't win today, and y'all will serve as reminders as to why they never should.

November 11, 2025 at 5:17 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

ngl, life has been lifing pretty brutally lately

I am burned out and am at the point of said burnout where the feelings of depression, isolation, loneliness, and worthlessness are creeping in

I don't let anyone in enough for people to care

idk, maybe the voices should win this time

November 10, 2025 at 5:15 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Sometimes I just wanna be a villain.

moxfield.com/decks/sROvQO...

[NEKUSAR, the MINDRAZER] - Commander (Nekusar, the Mindrazer)

A deck created using Moxfield.

moxfield.com

November 9, 2025 at 7:44 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Absolutely delicious.

My skill with distributing blueberries in baked goods is resume-worthy.

November 8, 2025 at 5:16 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Finally getting to use my housewarming present for a bit of post-break up banana bread 🍌🍞

November 8, 2025 at 1:20 AM

Reposted by Cooper

PendragonMTG - MagicCon Atlanta

@pendragonmtg.com

Day 5 of "NO... hear me out... VEMBER"!
A month dedicated to common creatures, aka Arthurs, who could wield a legendary equipment and look hot while doing so.
Brought to you by our newest RRT member,
@cooperleef.bsky.social!

This bunny is cookin' on *and* off the field.. 👀👀

#PendragonMTG

Head of the Homestead
{3}{G/W}{G/W}
Creature — Rabbit Citizen

When this creature enters, create two 1/1 white Rabbit creature tokens.

“Interrupting a rabbitfolk dinner is a most grievous offense. If you must do so, bring gifts for the little ones, or bring a shield.”
—Giddy’s Guide to Valley

3/2
Illustrated by Omar Rayyan

November 7, 2025 at 1:03 AM

Reposted by Cooper

PendragonMTG - MagicCon Atlanta

@pendragonmtg.com

It's day 4 of "NO... hear me out... VEMBER"!
A month dedicated to common creatures, aka Arthurs, who could wield a legendary equipment and look hot while doing so.
Brought to you by our newest RRT member, @cooperleef.bsky.social!

Ready to get handsy in the graveyard with this Arthur?

#PendragonMTG

Appendage Amalgam
{2}{B}
Enchantment Creature — Horror

Flash

Whenever this creature attacks, surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

It moves with the speed of a spider but none of its skittering grace, scuttling to the sound of mucus-covered fingers.

3/2
Illustrated by Bartek Fedyczak

November 5, 2025 at 10:45 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

#PendragonMTG

What legendary equipment would you pair with this absolute babe?? 🥵⚔️

PendragonMTG - MagicCon Atlanta @pendragonmtg.com · 24d

Welcome to "NO... hear me out... VEMBER"!
A month dedicated to common creatures, aka Arthurs, who could wield a legendary equipment and look hot while doing so.
Brought to you by our newest RRT member, @cooperleef.bsky.social!

First up, Nanoform Sentinel! The things those tentacles could do...

Nanoform Sentinel
{2}{U}
Artifact Creature — Robot

Whenever this creature becomes tapped, untap another target permanent. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Cloudsculpting naturally led the Illvoi to other methods of reshaping matter.

3/2
Illustrated by Tianxing Xu

November 2, 2025 at 4:13 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

I've gotten a handful of new followers, so perhaps yall would like to know me better?
ngl.link/cooperleef1

Anonymous messages!

ngl.link

November 1, 2025 at 11:57 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAIIINNN!!!

November 1, 2025 at 4:12 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

CAS NEEDS MORE HYPE FOR HER BIRTHDAY

GO GO GO

TELL HER HOW GORGEOUS SHE LOOKS AND HOW SMART AND CLEVER SHE IS

Cas/Strix 🔜 MagicCon Vegas @strixhavendropout.bsky.social · 26d

My costume for this year and the reference art!

October 31, 2025 at 9:47 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Don't be tricked by the imposters out there, treat yourself to some @infinitokens.com! Even the worst art (mine) looks amazing on these high-quality dry erase tokens 👻