"I'm left handed", he types, smearing the words across the screen , his hands acting out a cruel pantomime

Local piece of shit demands answers, regrets vote.

Heads up from the future. Don't bet a lot.

Quite possibly one of the most underrated albums of all time forever and ever

Triple self dunk. 15 likes. Legendary levels of post.

Never ever even think about not doubling down.

Players vs game

Everyone knows why. Keep posting. Never doubt yourself. Just keep typing shit and pushing send. It's important.

Toilets where their souls should be

Write that down somewhere cause that's a line

Crying (boo hoo style): this post.

This is good a good one. Jot this down somewhere so you don't forget it.

Luke, standing in front of a public toilet and grabbing a stick: I guess I could stir this up

My last Uber driver

Local man's first day as laser tag section team lead comes with massive uptick of responsibility

I Married A Sex Doll (Update)

You see two dorks but I see two moms collapsing into each other's arms and sobbing, starting another facebook group for victims of sons, feeling heard

You can quote me on that, he yells at me, spittle flecked and red rimmed, while three Australians in vests pull him stoicly towards the back door of the bar. And Elijah Wood is Himmler! Elijah Wood is Himmler!
Something tells me I'll see him again.

Poor fool, smh. Poor foolish space mugger. Rule number one in space is
Don't Mug Yourself.