Yep, all of that 100%

You must just have a charisma I don't have. The camera obviously loves you!

I never seem to ever be in their gallery of shame!

One of the reasons I always go right to the back if I can is because I'm less likely to be on telly or in the paper looking gormless.

True stardom 🌟

The challenge is for anyone with the surname 'Darton' to be somehow decent.

I want to propose that both players have to be crap but the result good.

I'd suggest Junior Doolan would be the next best thing to your version.

(What with Bright Osayi actually being decent)

Barry Thornley

Gritty but skillful tanned left sided player. Club legend type.