It wouldn’t even be fair to say Coco wouldn’t want anyone to be sad, as she would probably enjoy the extra attention.

There are really no words to encapsulate the enormous loss of such a short but perfect creature. After all, what is loss if not the time you were unable to share and the things you were unable to do together?

Coco’s parents will miss her terribly, forever, especially when they hear the sound of a Mr. Softy Truck. Last summer, Coco managed to get a Julliard teacher to buy her an ice cream cone. She wanted two.

She was a big fan of the United States Postal Service, and she loved the elderly. She loved everyone, and if you did not love her, she would make it her mission to win you over.

She enjoyed going into the office. She visited every state on the West Coast and really liked LA.

In her spare time, Coco enjoyed watching Spy x Family with her parents, DINK tech nerds, being the worst coworker imaginable to her mother, and chasing New York Pigeons.

Without exaggeration, I can state that Coco Bean was bilingual (we never discerned her native language, but she enjoyed Japanese and Korean TV). She held stock, was filmed for a corporate movie, briefly had a successful social media presence, and was featured on the socials of an SF-based unicorn.

Born an indeterminate number of years ago, Coco Bean immigrated from Taiwan to San Francisco during the pandemic. She arrived underweight and angry, full of dislike for the English language, which, honestly, was fair.

This is high class art.

Like, CorgDad and I are from Philly, the FAFO capital. Our hockey team’s mascot is a FAFO muppet. Even we don’t fuck with NYC rodents.

But to Coco, rodents aren’t the enemy, they’re new fren.

Really, how dare I. She put the dirt there for a reason.

Checks out, excellent corg. 🥰

I agree. I’m lucky Coco allows me, a human, to live here. Carl has clearly fallen on hard times to invade her turf and he has my sympathies, but he must go.

Ahhh thank you. 🙏🏻☺️