艾凡森
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coldsweetgarden.bsky.social
艾凡森
@coldsweetgarden.bsky.social
artist. drawing & murmuring

https://coldsweetgarden.tumblr.com/

中 / ENG / FR
這兩天回憶起很多過去感情的事,我覺得最重要的就是不要讓對方利用「你有憂鬱症」這點來gaslight你,藉此為她失控的行為開脫。

現在想想真的有夠荒謬,明明從一開始侵犯別人隱私的是她、會瞬間發怒甚至動粗的是她、我被打後第一次提分手時緊捉著我大腿求我留下的是她、從不願意好好討論兩人相處問題的是她(因為她預設問題都是我的精神狀態引起的不甘她的事),到後來我第二次提分手時以自殺要脅的是她、常常莫名奇妙冷暴力或突然惡意挑剔我身體行為習慣的是她......結果最後有問題的還是我?就因為我有家暴史、比較會自省、比較注意自己的身心狀態有好好就醫,所以我就活該忍受那些鳥事?
February 8, 2026 at 1:54 PM
有種人就是得了便宜還賣乖,已經對她寬容忍耐到了極點,不得不切斷,她還可以到處生氣哭哭博取同情。

世界上沒人生來就要當你的備用情緒支援包,需要的時候就用,不需要的時候就嫌礙眼、還亂發怒把人逼到一旁。

對這種人我只有「去死」兩個字可說。
February 8, 2026 at 3:01 AM
有一天你突然發現深愛的人自始至終都以惡意輕慢的眼光看待你,只有你傻傻地想是自己有哪裡做得不夠好,還一直努力想讓兩人更幸福。這就是世界上最討厭的事。
February 7, 2026 at 10:03 PM
以前的人回來找我,我把她封鎖了。連同以前那些曾經帶給我痛苦回憶的人們。

不是我不想溝通,而是我清楚那群人永遠都不會認真傾聽。他們只會忙著比較、競爭、曲解他人行為背後的動機,因為在他們的世界裡,只有他們才能是最清白的受害者。

說到底,為什麼要回來找我呢?是因為發現我能夠給予他人無法提供的情緒價值嗎?如果她發現無法回復從前那樣溫暖的關係,應該也不會想再跟我有所牽連了吧。記憶中的她,總是那樣現實且懦弱。

她沒辦法得到她想要的,我也沒辦法得到我想要的。更重要的是,我不想再經歷一次像過去那樣痛苦的經驗了。

我一點也不想念她。但我不會說我完全不愛她,因為這幾天累積的情緒正在慢慢地、一層一層地炸開。
February 7, 2026 at 2:29 AM
看完九集鳴鳥不飛後幸福到喵喵叫的我☺️
2026我來了❤️❤️❤️
January 2, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Observing how the bullied transformed into a bunch of bullies is a terrifying experience
November 7, 2025 at 2:38 AM
October 9, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Just watched Mercy (2000) and I'm obsessed. Most delicious psychological layering I've ever seen in an erotic thriller.
October 4, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Sometimes I hope people understand that cynicism doesn't equal intelligence
July 14, 2025 at 6:23 AM
May 15, 2025 at 1:56 AM
I pray that all the sadness from the past cleansed from my body
May 12, 2025 at 12:36 PM
One thing I realize about Taurus moon lately is that we hold grudges tightly and patiently like they’re our own precious belongings
April 27, 2025 at 11:59 AM
gradually recovering from eye allergy
April 25, 2025 at 9:51 AM
March 11, 2025 at 3:08 AM
February 25, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Went out after the rain. Wet-black tree bark and neon-pink cherry blossoms ...... it's a beautiful ensemble
February 23, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Ignore those who display arrogant bully liar behaviors but always moan about how people are against them. Just ignore them.
February 5, 2025 at 8:19 PM
I've read an article about Saturn in Aquarius people and how their idealization of friendship impacts their life experience. That hit home
January 31, 2025 at 2:45 AM
I'm rewatching Hunter x Hunter 2011 to pass this Chinese New Year
January 28, 2025 at 2:46 AM
January 22, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Happy new year🌺 This is an unfinished work of 2024
#illustration #comic #ink #drawing #mask #surrealism #innerchild #nature
December 31, 2024 at 1:47 PM
December 29, 2024 at 6:48 AM