Cocaine Cowboy - It’s Parody Account Narc
@cocainedreams.bsky.social
Just got out of rehab … no not that kind, it was a physical injury. Hurt my nose.
I’m not a mathematician but if Lindsay Buckingham is 98% of what carries Fleetwood from song to song, but Stevie wrote Silver Springs … is the lesser percentage greater than the whole?
June 14, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I’m not a mathematician but if Lindsay Buckingham is 98% of what carries Fleetwood from song to song, but Stevie wrote Silver Springs … is the lesser percentage greater than the whole?
People on this app trying to recreate mid 20-teens Twitter are heroes … the light amidst total darkness that is this dystopian liberal circle jerk the other 23 hrs a day
June 13, 2025 at 4:11 PM
People on this app trying to recreate mid 20-teens Twitter are heroes … the light amidst total darkness that is this dystopian liberal circle jerk the other 23 hrs a day
Pouring one out for Biden. He would have loved today.
June 6, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Pouring one out for Biden. He would have loved today.
You can’t convince me Rick Carlisle and Jim Carey have ever been seen in the same place at the same time
June 6, 2025 at 3:28 AM
You can’t convince me Rick Carlisle and Jim Carey have ever been seen in the same place at the same time
Brits are so fucking funny when it comes to produce in the summer. They are called eggplants and squash you silly people. Stop inventing French words for them.
May 23, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Brits are so fucking funny when it comes to produce in the summer. They are called eggplants and squash you silly people. Stop inventing French words for them.
Top-5 Beers ranked:
1) Post mow beer
2) Shower beer
3) Smoking meats beer
4) Post power wash beer
5) Post sex with a stranger beer
1) Post mow beer
2) Shower beer
3) Smoking meats beer
4) Post power wash beer
5) Post sex with a stranger beer
May 18, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Top-5 Beers ranked:
1) Post mow beer
2) Shower beer
3) Smoking meats beer
4) Post power wash beer
5) Post sex with a stranger beer
1) Post mow beer
2) Shower beer
3) Smoking meats beer
4) Post power wash beer
5) Post sex with a stranger beer
Mezcal mornings are the best mornings.
May 17, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Mezcal mornings are the best mornings.
People who get out of their car to pump gas, just to get back in their car and doom scroll for 2 mins until the tank is full … yeah I got no time for you mouth breathers.
May 12, 2025 at 12:00 AM
People who get out of their car to pump gas, just to get back in their car and doom scroll for 2 mins until the tank is full … yeah I got no time for you mouth breathers.
The little lady said “let’s do a sober May”
… I was game. 7 days in tho I have a legit question. What the absolute fuck are people doing between 3PM and 6PM daily?
… I was game. 7 days in tho I have a legit question. What the absolute fuck are people doing between 3PM and 6PM daily?
May 8, 2025 at 1:16 AM
The little lady said “let’s do a sober May”
… I was game. 7 days in tho I have a legit question. What the absolute fuck are people doing between 3PM and 6PM daily?
… I was game. 7 days in tho I have a legit question. What the absolute fuck are people doing between 3PM and 6PM daily?
I don’t know who needs to hear this aside from my 10s of followers. But for my money Rummo pasta is the best dried pasta on the market by a mile … and I’m not even getting paid to say that. #justafatguy perspective
May 5, 2025 at 10:40 PM
I don’t know who needs to hear this aside from my 10s of followers. But for my money Rummo pasta is the best dried pasta on the market by a mile … and I’m not even getting paid to say that. #justafatguy perspective
There are IHOP people and there are Waffle House people and I’m here to tell you that the food ain’t great at either, but I have no time for IHOP people.
May 1, 2025 at 12:23 AM
There are IHOP people and there are Waffle House people and I’m here to tell you that the food ain’t great at either, but I have no time for IHOP people.
Chili Crisp is to the kitchen what a bottle of bourbon and a bump is to life … sorta makes any situation that much more fun and unpredictable.
April 26, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Chili Crisp is to the kitchen what a bottle of bourbon and a bump is to life … sorta makes any situation that much more fun and unpredictable.
Never been a “cake” guy … but I’ll never say no to a bite of ice cream cake … they are the tall, curvy red heads of the cake world
April 25, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Never been a “cake” guy … but I’ll never say no to a bite of ice cream cake … they are the tall, curvy red heads of the cake world
(Shoots 10 strokes above where he should be) “I fucking hate golf”
(Has 2 beers and a double Jack and Ginger while examining his score card for an hour in beautiful spring sunshine) “let’s do this again tomorrow?”
(Has 2 beers and a double Jack and Ginger while examining his score card for an hour in beautiful spring sunshine) “let’s do this again tomorrow?”
April 25, 2025 at 7:08 PM
(Shoots 10 strokes above where he should be) “I fucking hate golf”
(Has 2 beers and a double Jack and Ginger while examining his score card for an hour in beautiful spring sunshine) “let’s do this again tomorrow?”
(Has 2 beers and a double Jack and Ginger while examining his score card for an hour in beautiful spring sunshine) “let’s do this again tomorrow?”
Some people say things like “oh you don’t have to drink while you’re smoking BBQ” and that my friends is called natural selection
April 20, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Some people say things like “oh you don’t have to drink while you’re smoking BBQ” and that my friends is called natural selection
Florida having a sliver of its state in another time zone is just so stupid, and yet at the same time it’s such a quintessentially American thing.
April 18, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Florida having a sliver of its state in another time zone is just so stupid, and yet at the same time it’s such a quintessentially American thing.
Golf and bumps at the turn. That’s it. That’s The vibe.
April 18, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Golf and bumps at the turn. That’s it. That’s The vibe.
The Penguins from the Madagascar franchise are the best comedic team Hollywood has produced in the 21st century and it’s not even close.
That’s not my burden to carry. That’s on the Hollywood Industrial Complex.
That’s not my burden to carry. That’s on the Hollywood Industrial Complex.
April 12, 2025 at 11:49 PM
The Penguins from the Madagascar franchise are the best comedic team Hollywood has produced in the 21st century and it’s not even close.
That’s not my burden to carry. That’s on the Hollywood Industrial Complex.
That’s not my burden to carry. That’s on the Hollywood Industrial Complex.
One thing marriage has taught me is never underestimate the myriad ways your wife can find to annoy the shit out of you.
April 11, 2025 at 12:49 AM
One thing marriage has taught me is never underestimate the myriad ways your wife can find to annoy the shit out of you.
I’ve tried Mezcal many times and never was blown away by it …. But it turns out I just wasn’t drinking enough of it regularly, nor was I pairing it with the proper tacos. Who knew?
April 8, 2025 at 8:11 PM
I’ve tried Mezcal many times and never was blown away by it …. But it turns out I just wasn’t drinking enough of it regularly, nor was I pairing it with the proper tacos. Who knew?
Airports having brand exclusivity with soda companies is the stupidest thing in the world. What do you mean I can only have a Pepsi with my Jack Daniels at 7:30AM??? I want a fucking Coke!
April 5, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Airports having brand exclusivity with soda companies is the stupidest thing in the world. What do you mean I can only have a Pepsi with my Jack Daniels at 7:30AM??? I want a fucking Coke!
Revisiting
#SturgillSimpson tonight…. “Cuttin Grass Vol. 1” and I gotta say that motherfucker might have written THE spiritual guide for this moment we are in 5 years too early. Better early than never Sturgill. “life ain’t fair and the world is mean”
#SturgillSimpson tonight…. “Cuttin Grass Vol. 1” and I gotta say that motherfucker might have written THE spiritual guide for this moment we are in 5 years too early. Better early than never Sturgill. “life ain’t fair and the world is mean”
April 4, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Revisiting
#SturgillSimpson tonight…. “Cuttin Grass Vol. 1” and I gotta say that motherfucker might have written THE spiritual guide for this moment we are in 5 years too early. Better early than never Sturgill. “life ain’t fair and the world is mean”
#SturgillSimpson tonight…. “Cuttin Grass Vol. 1” and I gotta say that motherfucker might have written THE spiritual guide for this moment we are in 5 years too early. Better early than never Sturgill. “life ain’t fair and the world is mean”
Not enough is being done to study that run of movies #ValKilmer had to start his career. 1984 to 1995 … nothing but bangers and one stint as the most famous movie superhero of all time.
April 4, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Not enough is being done to study that run of movies #ValKilmer had to start his career. 1984 to 1995 … nothing but bangers and one stint as the most famous movie superhero of all time.
Really felt like Cold Fusion would have been a thing by now. Anyways … pills don’t count when you’re doing this Cali sober thing right?
April 4, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Really felt like Cold Fusion would have been a thing by now. Anyways … pills don’t count when you’re doing this Cali sober thing right?