Abzan Death and Taxes
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coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Abzan Death and Taxes
@coburnsdivine.bsky.social
1K followers 1K following 2.1K posts
she/her
Enforcer, Chicago Fan, aspiring T1 MtG judge. Lover of all things Abzan.
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coburnsdivine.bsky.social
This week's baking: vegan pumpkin cookies! Aiming for bite-size this year (I made a batch of fist-sized pumpkin cookies around this time last year)
A bowl of pumpkin cookie batter, with a metal spoon in it. 15 Pumpkin cookies in the oven. 15 pumpkin cookies on a cookie sheet, fresh out of the oven.
October 31, 2025 at 1:11 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Making a treat for my coworker's birthday:
24 Pumpkin mini-cupcakes baking in an oven.
October 23, 2025 at 5:37 AM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
I love Flavor Text Friday, and here's my contribution, from on of my favorite removal spells during WAR limited.

"Liliana whispered to whatever conciousness Oketra and Bontu had left. 'You are the gods. He is the usurper. You know what to do.'"
October 17, 2025 at 11:33 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Thanks to my recent trip across the country with the family, I was mildly reinspired to get back into making food for myself. Behold, my lunch for the next two days (recipe in alt text):
Two casserole dishes sit on a black stove top side by side. Inside the left dish is a mango chicken salad conpised of: 1 peeled and cubed mango, ~4 pieces of slow-cooked chicken breast, 1/2c cilantro, 3/4c yogurt, 2T a jam of my choice (strawberry rhubarb, in this case), 2T Lime juice, 1T dijon mustard, and 1/4tsp of cayenne pepper. The right-side dish is still mostly full with the rest of the pulled, slow-cooked, chicken not used. A mango chicken salad sandwich on a broiche bun. Not my ideal (ciabatta is best), but delicious (and I may have put some more hot sauce on it to make it a little less sweet.)
October 15, 2025 at 8:38 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Get on my back, we're goin' on a siege!
Image description: One seemingly ordinary rhino traversing a desert until you realise this lorge boi is towering over the warriors accompanying them, where they only reach the knee of this mighty war beast. There is a palanquin mounted atop it, behind where the rider of the rhino is guiding the reins. Card text: "Seige Rhino - 1WBG Creature - Rhino Trample When Siege Rhino enters the battlefield, each opponent loses 3 life and you gain 3 life. _____ The mere approach of an Abzan war beat is enough to send enemies fleeing in panic."
August 18, 2025 at 1:53 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
RIP my ego
A 3x3 grid with the labeling of 'Prep' on the left side, 'Jock' on the top side, 'Goth' on the right side, and 'Nerd' on the bottom (insert Nerds and Bottoms joke here). Each square of the 3x3 has a 7x7 grid inside of it. There is a small dot on the bottom edge in the 49th square of the center grid, slightly overlapping into the grid below it. Underneath the graphic is the words: 'You are 28.2% Goth, 32.7% Nerd, placing you in the Normie category.'
August 6, 2025 at 4:16 AM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
For an example:
A snip from the front page of an app called Webnovel. There are 8 titles of various levels of outlandishness, in order from left to right and fron the top: Building the Strongest Family, My Attributes are Increasing Infinitely, My Romance Life System, (incomplete title) Conquering System: H..., Starting Sign-In from a Billionaire God, I Have 10,000 SSS Rank Villains, (incomplete title) Killed Me? Now I Have..., Immortality System: Cultivating With Girls.
July 30, 2025 at 9:54 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Because I went and chased this rabbit down the hole, the most recent first printing of a card with the text: "Sacrifice a creature" without an additional activation cost was Dragon's Maze, with Maw of the Obzedat.
Image description: Set in what appears to be a religious contruction, with two stained glass white sun motifs in the fashion of Orzhov, a grisly scene is underway. A massive and rotund figure is sitting on a pedestal, with a flight of stairs built atop the pedestal to accommodate the task at hand. People in religious shrouds are walking up the sun crest-adorned steps, into the hands of the massive figure, who is then feeding upon them by dropping them into the gigantic maw of its belly. This figure is wearing a white robe with gold edging, a golden collar made with the sun motif, and a golden mask with puffed out cheeks which does not serve to disguise the bulk of the flesh around its face. It appears to be reclining against a velvet and gold chair, of which only the back of the chair is visible, peeking over its shoulder. Its mouth/belly is wide open, and lined with pointed teeth, and the visible skin it shows is gray and lifeless in pallor. Card Text: "Maw of the Obzedat - 3WB Creature - Thrull Sacrifice a creature: Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn. ____ The devout sacrifice themselves to it hoping for escape from their debts to the guild, but many end up owing in the afterlife.
July 15, 2025 at 8:30 AM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
That and Brash Taunter.
Image description: A goblin, in what resembles a civilian or pirate sailor's gear, is walking toward the viewer. They are wearing a maroon coat with yellow/gold trim, a standard-looking belt, pinstriped pants and deck-boots. They are also yelling venomously at the viewer, sharp teeth visible and spittle flying as a finger from their right hand is pointing aggressively in the same direction. In their left hand, and held slightly behind them, is a sap fashioned to look like a skull. Beyond them are a pair of decidedly less-clothed goblins menacing passerby. The goblin to the right of the leader has a young man held by the collar, and is clearly threatening to punch him. The goblin to the left is facing away, has knocked over what appears to be a baker's cart, and is now menacing the bald and mustached person beyond it. Card Text: "Brash Taunter - 4R Creature - Goblin Indestructible Whenever Brash Taunter is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to target opponent. 2R, Tap: Brash Taunter fights another target creature. ______ 'Why don't you come a little closer and say that again, you spineless spit-licker!'"
July 10, 2025 at 12:38 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
I am so tired now, and it's likely to be hour 26 of my day before I get to my bed. *half-hearted grumbling*
June 29, 2025 at 8:44 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
On my way home now, but stopped beforehand for a bite and a pint at the Red Lion. #Pride
The Abzan Queen is pleased by the repast in front of her, a corned beef sandwich, fries, a pickle, and horseradish in a small tin on the side of the platter the meal is served on.
June 29, 2025 at 8:42 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Taking the Metra into Chicago proper, on the way to the #ChicagoPrideParade It's the first time I've been able to make time to go! Of course, that is at the expense of my sleep for the day, but, fuckin' worth it.
It's an Abzan Queen, on her way to the city on public transport! She's wearing black headphones and a black shirt, with a navajo pattern silk scarf and gold and green beads peeking out from under the scarf. Not pictured, her very pretty literal butterfly clip holding her hair up.
June 29, 2025 at 2:50 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
In personal news, I hit Legendary 4 on @warframe.com this morning before getting ready for Pride Parade Chicago. Didn't even know they were on Bluesky until I thought to check today.
A screenshot of Warframe, a third person action shooter. The character in frame and to the left is a mix of bright green and iridescent purple accents on a black colored base, the form of a kneeling Saryn Prime. To the right is text saying "you have earned the mastery rank: Legendary 4" as well as a rewards scroll underneath saying I've earned +1 loadout slot, +500 daily standing, +5000 daily focus limit, a Legendary Core, and +50 Void Trace Storage.
June 29, 2025 at 11:56 AM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Hey y'all, can anyone spare $2 to put this goal to bed? I dropped a small donation on this to try and help, and it's so close, with only 7 hours left!

chuffed.org/project/help...
A snip showing Ruaa's (@itsmeio.bsky.social) donation campaign having raised 19,999 GBP out of 20k. Literally one more pound (1.37 USD) and it's there.
June 29, 2025 at 11:44 AM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Me + My First Commander

I have a hard time with these because my self-image clashes heavily with how I actually look, and it's rough. Anyway, it's somehow been 11 years since, Ghave no longer exists, but about 60% of it is still part of my Karador list pinned to my profile. I'll rebuild him soon.
A wild Abzan Queen appears, wearing a red tee of all things (what? red?!). The shot is a wider angle showing that this selfie was taken inside a LGS, with a bunch of magic product on shelving in the background. Card text: "Ghave, Guru of Spores - 2BGW Legendary Creature - Fungus Shaman Ghave, Guru of Spores enters the battlefield wuth five +1/+1 counters on it. 1, Remove a +1/+1 counter from a creature you control: Create a 1/1 green Saproling creatuee token. 1, Sacrifice a creature: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature."
June 28, 2025 at 3:11 AM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Ah, here was my version. Nit sure which one I like better, yours or mine.
A screengrab of a post by Joe Walsh @walshfreedom.bsky.social It shows that I don't follow him, he's labeled by one of my labelers as having occasionally engaged in transmisogyny and (possibly unwitting, but the labeler doesn't make the much of a distinction) transphobia. The "thread" he is linking is labeled as 'Muted by "The Spectator Garden Party Guest List"
June 24, 2025 at 12:00 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Today sucks, but I'm taking joy in small things, like how half a million people have the couchfucker blocked basically as soon as he started his account here.
June 18, 2025 at 11:53 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
I need to get on this discord at some point.
June 11, 2025 at 7:50 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
This was a house in a Limited pool that had genuinely egregious Blue piles.
Card text: "Shifting Ceratops - 2GG Creature - Dinosaur This spell can't be countered. Protections from blue (This creature can't be blocked, targeted, dealt damage, enchanted, or equipped by anything blue.) G: Shifting Ceratops gains your choice of reach, trample, or haste until end of turn." Image description: A green and yellow banded triceratops with red-orange markings on its crest, neck, and horns. It is splashing through a creek bed in the midst of a forest.
June 9, 2025 at 1:56 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Played Boros Aggro for a 2HG prerelease that was Bo1 x3. Partner was playing Sultai Goodstuff (green focus). Went 2-1 thanks to both of us flooding (with 15 and 12-land decks respectively, how?!) in round 1, but good games otherwise.

#MTGxFinalFantasy #prerelease #2HG
26 cards arranged on a playmat. Decklist as follows: Blazing Bomb Phoenix Down Thunder Magic x2 Suplex Choco-Comet Ambrosia Whiteheart Prompto Argentum White Mage's Staff Lightning, Army of One Laughing Mad x2 Summon: G.F. Ifrit x2 Lindblum, Industrial Regency Sidequest: Catch a Fish Joshua, Phoenix's Dominant Summon: Primal Garuda The Regalia White Auracite x2 Dion, Bahamut's Dominant Warrior's Sword The Fire Crystal Fate of the Sun-Cryst The Crystal's Chosen
June 9, 2025 at 3:49 AM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Went 2-1 with Orzhov Artifact Control in my first pre-release of the day. Won Round 1 2-0 against Selesnya Summons, Lost Round 2 0-2 to Rakdos Aggro, Won Round 3 2-0 against Selesnya Control.
24 cards aligned in rows ordered by mana value, decklist: Lunatic Pandora x2 World Map Resentful Revelation White Mage's Staff Vibcent Limit Break Black Mage's Rod Undercity Dire Rat Magic Pot The Masamune Cornered by Black Mages Overkill Adventurer's Airship Paladin's Arms Vincent Valentine White Auracite Summon: Primal Garuda Sephiroth's Intervention Weapons Vendor Zodiark, Umbral God Sidequest: Hunt the Mark Minwu, White Mage Fate of the Sun-Cryst Ardyn, the Usurper
June 8, 2025 at 9:59 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
Prerelease: start!

With face!

#MTGxFinalFantasy #prerelease
June 8, 2025 at 6:10 PM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
This was all I could find on short notice. It's a bit niche, and the only pieces I can think of that would use it are single target. So, tbh, it doesn't go well.
Card text: "Sandstorm - G Instant Sandstorm deals 1 damage to each attacking creature. ____ Ravaged by decades of war, the land struck back with primal, blinding fury." Image description: Upon a scrubland, several mounted riders with red streamers appear to be panicking as a sky-filling sandstorm bears down on them, with a roaring skeletal dragon in its midst. There is lightning arcing throughout the sandstorm.
June 3, 2025 at 2:40 AM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
quote with your flags, happy pride! Make sure you have a brick on your person to commemorate the first Pride!

Read the alt text for explanation of flags and personal commentary.
Aromantic flag While I am a *voracious* consumer of romance genre media, I am next to incapable of feeling romantic love, try as I might. Dysphorasexual flag I can feel sexual attraction, but I'm generally ace because sex is dysphoria-triggering. Third base is where it starts getting iffy for me. Lesbian flag I'm a girl that likes girls. Trans flag I'm a trans woman, savvy?
June 2, 2025 at 4:51 AM
coburnsdivine.bsky.social
He's big, he's stinky from the grave he broke free of, and he's here to fight everyone.
Card text: "Polukranos, Unchained - 2BG Legendary Creature - Zombie Hydra Polukranos enters the battlefield with six +1/+1 counters on it. It Escapes with twelve +1/+1 counters on it instead. If damage would be dealt to Polukranos while it has a +1/+1 counter on it, prevent that damage and remove that many +1/+1 counters from it. 1BG: Polukranos fights another target creature. Escape --4BG, Exile six other cards from your graveyard." Image description: Rampaging through a starfield with craggy rocks underfoot and Classical Age ruins, a six-headed quadrupedal hydra is howling in fury with all of its sharp-beaked heads. Each fiery-ridged head is trailing a broken chain attached to iron collars clasped around their necks. Two of the heads are discolored purple, compared to the rest being tan and larger, showing where new heads had grown from a previous beheading.
May 27, 2025 at 6:06 AM