Chaos Goblin
coaxialcoyote.bsky.social
Chaos Goblin
@coaxialcoyote.bsky.social
Floridiot, consuming chaos like calories, Oxford comma stan.

Kind, not nice.
You can pry twitter from my cold dead hands.
August 12, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Have you ever been absolutely vibing outside, and then a bug crawls on you?
May 3, 2025 at 5:01 AM
I fucking hate Orlando.
May 2, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Either everyone has due process or no one does
HE IS PROMISING TO SEND AMERICANS TO FOREIGN DEATH CAMPS.

This is it. This is where America ends.
April 14, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Cops are unrivaled small talkers.
Do they teach that in the academy, or are small talkers drawn to law enforcement.
March 26, 2025 at 12:49 AM
They fired the guy who was bringing in all the good snacks at the office.
a man in a black suit stands in front of a black background with devastating written on it
ALT: a man in a black suit stands in front of a black background with devastating written on it
media.tenor.com
March 25, 2025 at 8:02 PM
someimtes i feel bad about myself but then other times 130 people pay 150 dollars to listen to me talk and i feel a little better
March 22, 2025 at 1:54 AM
I can't believe I bought into Gorlworld just in time for washcloth gate
March 12, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Trying to find the right stock image is one of the deepest circles of hell. Why are there THIRTY ONE hands in this image???
February 28, 2025 at 4:23 PM
this rayban guy keeps eyefucking me on facebook
February 27, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Husky D?
🚨 PLEASE TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW THAT IN SOME STATES MEDICAID IS CALLED BY A DIFFERENT NAME.... BUT....
IT IS MEDICAID and subject to EXTREME CUTS🚨

This FIGHT is NOT OVER
CALL YOUR CONGRESSIONAL REPRESENTATIVES 202 224-3121
(ty to @tonolatino.bsky.social Sylvia for this info)
February 27, 2025 at 7:06 PM
No one talks about how expensive a berry habit is.
Why am I rivaling a smoker's budget on strawberries.
February 25, 2025 at 1:38 AM
The national partk service is respectfully asking you guys to post less specific death threats. 🙏
February 23, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Ahh yes, exactly what comes to my mind first when I see a majestic horse.

Natural bottoms.
February 17, 2025 at 2:26 PM
My Nutribullet might be too powerful. I don't know that I need a jet engine on my counter.
February 12, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Finally strawberry season again.
Time to eat so many I really become allergic this year
a man with a mustache and a white shirt is looking at something
ALT: a man with a mustache and a white shirt is looking at something
media.tenor.com
February 9, 2025 at 12:47 AM
IDK who needs to hear this (it's my mom) but your children are a lot like investment accounts and if you don't wisely invest in them you won't have anything to draw upon later, when YOU need it.
February 4, 2025 at 2:47 AM
January 23, 2025 at 1:28 PM
I think I like catfish so much because they all seem to occasionally stop, lay down in weird places, and try to catch their breath while appearing to have existential crises.
Then they just start swimming again, like they weren't just fighting for their mortal souls.
January 22, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Our sysadmin quit with 1 week notice in the midst of our SOC 2 audit.
a man is drinking through a straw from a cup
ALT: a man is drinking through a straw from a cup
media.tenor.com
January 21, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Bees and mango blossoms; name a more iconic duo
January 20, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Shout out to the employee who got fired for stealing and then months later gave us a 5 star review on google with a picture of himself holding stolen property.
a man in military uniform is sitting on a boat in the water
ALT: a man in military uniform is sitting on a boat in the water
media.tenor.com
January 16, 2025 at 5:29 PM
tiktokers becoming conversational in mandarin in 72 hours on rednote was not on my 2025 bingo card
January 15, 2025 at 2:16 AM
what is adobe doin
January 14, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Alt Title: Capital One stole $2 Billion from customers.
Breaking News: Capital One deliberately underpaid savings account interest, even as rates rose, costing depositors over $2 billion, federal regulators alleged in a lawsuit.
Capital One Is Accused of Cheating Customers Out of $2 Billion
Federal regulators said in a lawsuit on Tuesday that the giant bank deliberately underpaid savings account interest, even as rates rose.
www.nytimes.com
January 14, 2025 at 4:28 PM