Esh
clockwork-eshmaki.bsky.social
Esh
@clockwork-eshmaki.bsky.social
Goth queer with a penchant for monologuing at anyone without a clear path of escape about Vampire the Masquerade lore. He/They.
I swear to god, there are few hits of dopamine that are better than hearing someone angrily shouting my name.
August 19, 2025 at 9:45 PM
“Next time I’ll remember to do this as soon as I get home.”

A lie I tell myself every time I submit an expense report three weeks late.
July 23, 2025 at 3:11 PM
At the Faun show in Portland tonight. Some of the outfits in this crowd are so over-the-top, it’s delightful!
June 28, 2025 at 3:53 AM
“The Naruto homebrew I’ve been working on using the nWoD system is close to being ready.”

“Cool. How’s the card game you were designing coming along? Oh, and the new RPG setting you were writing?”

“…”

“…”

“…I don’t care for your tone.”
June 16, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Dating websites should just pull people’s photos directly from the DMV. I just feel that any connections we made would be more meaningful having already seen each other at our most annoyed and unfuckable.
May 27, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Every time I try to run a soft and wholesome game, I always run into the same problem; I’m a terrible person who enjoys traumatizing my players.
May 21, 2025 at 7:25 PM
The healthiest gaming groups are the ones where you can all hang out together and do other things, too. The most toxic groups I’ve ever experienced only interacted in the context of the one shared hobby. Build the friendships outside of game too, and it makes the experience way better.
May 7, 2025 at 5:44 AM
So obviously we all hate WotC for the OGL BS, the Pinkertons BS, the VTT BS, the AI BS, and a hundred other things, but I feel like we’ve lost sight of what we SHOULD hate them for; in over a decade, there’s only been one new base class (which they barely acknowledge), and no prestige classes.
April 21, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Watching Fairy Tail: 100 Years Quest. Fairy Tail has always been heavy on the fan service, but Mashima’s just putting all his fetishes right out front with this one.
March 30, 2025 at 2:36 AM
You’ve been tasked to make $10,000 in one week. Which method is more efficient; setting up a small business dropshipping tea leaves, or shoving the person who issued the challenge into your trunk and asking who will pay $10,000 for them to be returned alive? You know, hypothetically?
March 27, 2025 at 10:37 PM
I wonder if the writers behind RIFTS predicted the rise of FanFiction.net and AO3. Because if they didn’t, then naming their 10-foot-tall mech suits (and by extension their pilots) “Glitter Boys” was a hell of a serendipitous choice.
FanFiction
World's largest fanfiction archive and forum where fanfic writers and readers around the globe gather to share their passion.
FanFiction.net
March 26, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Every writer has a process. My process is to sit down and promise myself I’ll write something wholesome this time, to which my brain responds, “Heh. Holesome.” And then an hour later all I have to show for my efforts is poorly-conceived smut.
March 24, 2025 at 10:56 PM
From a purely legal perspective, twinks count as entrapment.
March 23, 2025 at 6:39 AM
The Dread Voyage by William Wilfred Campbell would make an amazing shanty metal song, with almost no lyrical changes.
March 21, 2025 at 11:37 PM
The best representation of the Fae in video game media is the House of Ballads in Kindoms of Amalur: Reckoning. Fite me.
March 19, 2025 at 2:47 PM
If there’s a popular author in town doing a book signing, and I check all of their books out of the library and get every one of them signed, would that piss the librarians off or would they be impressed with my initiative?
March 8, 2025 at 11:37 PM
When running a Scion game, sometimes you give your players a well-researched and respectful modern retelling of a somewhat obscure legend. Other times, you have King Arthur invite them to a feast at Camelot where he spends the whole night chugging Gonsters and challenging them to joust.
February 27, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Today’s lesson; railing someone and railing AT someone have VERY different meanings, though they can be combined if you’re into that sort of thing.
January 20, 2025 at 3:23 AM
I know Physical Touch is already one of the accepted love languages, but I firmly believe Casual Biting deserves to be its own category.
January 10, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Y’know, it’s probably for the best that we don’t have dragons. If we did, the internet leads me to believe that we’d probably drive them to extinction within a few years through sheer sexual exhaustion.
December 31, 2024 at 2:54 AM
There’s a certain amount of satisfaction I get when someone thinks they’ve successfully derailed my carefully laid GM plans and I get to theatrically reveal to them that my campaign planning notes consisted of exactly 3 words; “Snake Cult. Snult?”
December 3, 2024 at 9:13 PM
There are so many horror and urban fantasy fics/films/shows set in Portland, Oregon, but very few of them even mention the multiple tunnels running from the waterfront to basements in Old Town Chinatown that have been sitting beneath the city since the 1800s.
December 1, 2024 at 7:31 PM