PYRE OF THE MUSE
@clockmuse.bsky.social
sydney - he/they - queer and taken
i’m very mentally ill and have bpd
gods prettiest feral guard dog
this is a vent account, if that isn’t clear
i’m very mentally ill and have bpd
gods prettiest feral guard dog
this is a vent account, if that isn’t clear
please don’t ever leave. i would tear myself apart
January 7, 2025 at 5:26 PM
please don’t ever leave. i would tear myself apart
i worry. do you know how badly i worry? there is a writhing ache in my chest from it
January 6, 2025 at 4:00 AM
i worry. do you know how badly i worry? there is a writhing ache in my chest from it
no one expects the emotional funnel to have a breakdown! hahah! at least my headmates care
December 23, 2024 at 4:54 AM
no one expects the emotional funnel to have a breakdown! hahah! at least my headmates care
i feel so bad right now. all i want is to feel loved without needing constant reassurance
December 23, 2024 at 4:49 AM
i feel so bad right now. all i want is to feel loved without needing constant reassurance
i think i’m going to cry
December 23, 2024 at 4:48 AM
i think i’m going to cry
haha being a fictive is so fun. (i feel ill)
December 23, 2024 at 4:42 AM
haha being a fictive is so fun. (i feel ill)
sometimes things get so bad that relapsing seems like a reasonable option
December 22, 2024 at 5:46 AM
sometimes things get so bad that relapsing seems like a reasonable option
love spending a day with the adrenaline rush of pure unfiltered trauma responses, followed by physical loneliness and then crashing out hard
December 22, 2024 at 5:43 AM
love spending a day with the adrenaline rush of pure unfiltered trauma responses, followed by physical loneliness and then crashing out hard
Fucked up somewhere in the comfort of lounging and reading, and now I’m viscerally aware of my pulse
December 10, 2024 at 5:52 AM
Fucked up somewhere in the comfort of lounging and reading, and now I’m viscerally aware of my pulse
three traumaholders in front with me. that explains the mood
December 3, 2024 at 7:53 PM
three traumaholders in front with me. that explains the mood
i’m just a wreck, actually. how does anyone find me lovable
December 3, 2024 at 7:32 PM
i’m just a wreck, actually. how does anyone find me lovable
sometimes i have to just
December 3, 2024 at 7:20 PM
sometimes i have to just
god i am the pinnacle of a pathetic man
December 3, 2024 at 7:13 PM
god i am the pinnacle of a pathetic man
my hips keep catching painfully if i sit or lay the wrong way. this doesn’t bode well
December 3, 2024 at 6:04 PM
my hips keep catching painfully if i sit or lay the wrong way. this doesn’t bode well
turns out thinking i’m living dead sometimes is fine actually (they said i’d be a pretty corpse)
December 3, 2024 at 4:29 PM
turns out thinking i’m living dead sometimes is fine actually (they said i’d be a pretty corpse)
i’ve discovered my depression can only be abated so much by faux whimsy and delusions, because i still don’t have an appetite despite the fact i’m hungry and cooked for myself!
December 3, 2024 at 4:25 PM
i’ve discovered my depression can only be abated so much by faux whimsy and delusions, because i still don’t have an appetite despite the fact i’m hungry and cooked for myself!
i experience emotions in such a way that just genuinely makes me sick, which is. great. i need them to tear my organs apart. maybe then i’ll feel okay
December 3, 2024 at 7:37 AM
i experience emotions in such a way that just genuinely makes me sick, which is. great. i need them to tear my organs apart. maybe then i’ll feel okay
i should just indulge in my intricate daydreams that are possibly delusions until i feel better
December 3, 2024 at 7:36 AM
i should just indulge in my intricate daydreams that are possibly delusions until i feel better
i (specific headmate) treat myself like an attack dog and i’m realizing that really isn’t ideal for my mental health but fuck it. we ball.
December 3, 2024 at 7:32 AM
i (specific headmate) treat myself like an attack dog and i’m realizing that really isn’t ideal for my mental health but fuck it. we ball.
“unlearning shame” but it’s me trying to unmask my symptoms and actually tell my partner when i need their attention (im terrified of being “too much”) (i would literally stalk them if given the chance) (they’re aware of this and have encouraged me anyway) (i’m still scared)
December 3, 2024 at 2:29 AM
“unlearning shame” but it’s me trying to unmask my symptoms and actually tell my partner when i need their attention (im terrified of being “too much”) (i would literally stalk them if given the chance) (they’re aware of this and have encouraged me anyway) (i’m still scared)
sometimes i wonder if i really am some kind of corpse whenever i’m alone, unobserved. it likely isn’t healthy but occasionally i just need to daydream about not fully being alive
December 3, 2024 at 2:23 AM
sometimes i wonder if i really am some kind of corpse whenever i’m alone, unobserved. it likely isn’t healthy but occasionally i just need to daydream about not fully being alive
i’ve never been afraid of sleeping, but there’s an uncertainness to it now. i never know if i’ll rest in peaceful nothing, or dream sweetly of being in the arms of those i love, or if that awful scene will play out in my nightmares again. the plot is always different, but the scene is the same.
November 25, 2024 at 9:51 AM
i’ve never been afraid of sleeping, but there’s an uncertainness to it now. i never know if i’ll rest in peaceful nothing, or dream sweetly of being in the arms of those i love, or if that awful scene will play out in my nightmares again. the plot is always different, but the scene is the same.
“haha winter is one of my favorite seasons” i say, as my seasonal affective disorder grips my soul and i choke with melancholy
November 25, 2024 at 9:16 AM
“haha winter is one of my favorite seasons” i say, as my seasonal affective disorder grips my soul and i choke with melancholy