Cleanstream
@cleanstream.bsky.social
How do I explain to my doctor that I'm in my punished era and that I'm very strife coded?
September 16, 2024 at 12:30 PM
How do I explain to my doctor that I'm in my punished era and that I'm very strife coded?
It is – of course – illegal to ride a horse while drunk. But it SHOULDN'T be if the horse is also drunk so it cancels out
August 6, 2024 at 12:47 PM
It is – of course – illegal to ride a horse while drunk. But it SHOULDN'T be if the horse is also drunk so it cancels out
Making a mold off my penis so I can make scented candles to give as gifts
August 1, 2024 at 8:28 AM
Making a mold off my penis so I can make scented candles to give as gifts
Realistically, if you woke up 1940s' Captain America from cryosleep, he'd be throwing around some slurs you didn't even know about in day-to-day speech
June 4, 2024 at 2:02 PM
Realistically, if you woke up 1940s' Captain America from cryosleep, he'd be throwing around some slurs you didn't even know about in day-to-day speech
The ideal guy is ginger, very hairy, has incredible reach and lives in the jungle
May 20, 2024 at 6:53 PM
The ideal guy is ginger, very hairy, has incredible reach and lives in the jungle
If you tie your shirt around your neck, you're a trust fund kid. If you tie it around your waist, you're a crust punk.
April 27, 2024 at 9:18 PM
If you tie your shirt around your neck, you're a trust fund kid. If you tie it around your waist, you're a crust punk.
My grandkids point at the teak display case in the corner of my room at the assisted living facility.
"What's that?"
"Oh, those are my Funko Pops. That one is Young Sheldon. Careful honey, they're very precious."
"What's that?"
"Oh, those are my Funko Pops. That one is Young Sheldon. Careful honey, they're very precious."
April 26, 2024 at 8:22 AM
My grandkids point at the teak display case in the corner of my room at the assisted living facility.
"What's that?"
"Oh, those are my Funko Pops. That one is Young Sheldon. Careful honey, they're very precious."
"What's that?"
"Oh, those are my Funko Pops. That one is Young Sheldon. Careful honey, they're very precious."
Superpower idea: if you eat cash, you shit out twice as much
March 31, 2024 at 12:24 AM
Superpower idea: if you eat cash, you shit out twice as much
They can't stop me from practicing nunchaku in the antique porcelain store because it's still legal and the nunchaku is a weapon designed to fend off multiple attackers at once.
March 30, 2024 at 9:57 AM
They can't stop me from practicing nunchaku in the antique porcelain store because it's still legal and the nunchaku is a weapon designed to fend off multiple attackers at once.
On weekends such as these I like to dress up in old timey clothing, ride around on antique bicycle with the giant front wheel, run over small children Completely on purpose and when their parents get mad I'm like "then YOU try steering this fucking thing!"
March 23, 2024 at 10:05 AM
On weekends such as these I like to dress up in old timey clothing, ride around on antique bicycle with the giant front wheel, run over small children Completely on purpose and when their parents get mad I'm like "then YOU try steering this fucking thing!"
Just Imagine how good the hospitals budget could be if it weren't for all those sick people draining their resources
March 21, 2024 at 9:08 PM
Just Imagine how good the hospitals budget could be if it weren't for all those sick people draining their resources
if you ever have to go to court, do what I did and wrest the gavel from the judges hand and sentence him and the bailiff before they can sentence you. High risk, high reward total baller mode move
March 9, 2024 at 10:15 PM
if you ever have to go to court, do what I did and wrest the gavel from the judges hand and sentence him and the bailiff before they can sentence you. High risk, high reward total baller mode move
for catholicism to stay relevant the vatican needs to do viral video content
Pope Francis' books of the bible tier list
Pope Francis' books of the bible tier list
February 27, 2024 at 12:16 PM
for catholicism to stay relevant the vatican needs to do viral video content
Pope Francis' books of the bible tier list
Pope Francis' books of the bible tier list
hard @ work making an app for the new apples gooning goggles that makes it so every white guy has a counter over their head telling you when they last said a racial slur
February 13, 2024 at 7:40 AM
hard @ work making an app for the new apples gooning goggles that makes it so every white guy has a counter over their head telling you when they last said a racial slur
Nobody told me ADHD medication would be so dangerous.
Peak amphetamine me RSVP'd to a bunch of fun social activities, and now comedown me has to attend them.
Peak amphetamine me RSVP'd to a bunch of fun social activities, and now comedown me has to attend them.
February 1, 2024 at 11:35 AM
Nobody told me ADHD medication would be so dangerous.
Peak amphetamine me RSVP'd to a bunch of fun social activities, and now comedown me has to attend them.
Peak amphetamine me RSVP'd to a bunch of fun social activities, and now comedown me has to attend them.
every girlfriend has mysterious powers that make their hands n feet somehow colder than the surrounding atmosphere
@ScientificCommunity is sleeping on this understudied phenomena
@ScientificCommunity is sleeping on this understudied phenomena
January 29, 2024 at 1:01 PM
every girlfriend has mysterious powers that make their hands n feet somehow colder than the surrounding atmosphere
@ScientificCommunity is sleeping on this understudied phenomena
@ScientificCommunity is sleeping on this understudied phenomena
Gonna start struggle sessions in all my Discords by remaking all the favorite emoji in OpenDyslexic and WCAG-compliant colors and contrast and demanding they be replaced
January 21, 2024 at 9:50 AM
Gonna start struggle sessions in all my Discords by remaking all the favorite emoji in OpenDyslexic and WCAG-compliant colors and contrast and demanding they be replaced
My economics dissertation – "How the Rise of Generative AI Models Has Affected Furry Commission Prices," sadly got rejected by the ILLEGITIMATE CORRUPT SMALL-MINDED bastard professors
January 18, 2024 at 5:01 PM
My economics dissertation – "How the Rise of Generative AI Models Has Affected Furry Commission Prices," sadly got rejected by the ILLEGITIMATE CORRUPT SMALL-MINDED bastard professors
Can we PLEASE as a society stop participating in the collective fantasy that those airblade hand dryers do anything at all
January 17, 2024 at 1:16 PM
Can we PLEASE as a society stop participating in the collective fantasy that those airblade hand dryers do anything at all
Excuse me, what brand of dog is that?
January 16, 2024 at 7:42 AM
Excuse me, what brand of dog is that?
Sometimes I wish I could know weird stats like which adult human hasn't thought about earthworms for the longest time
January 11, 2024 at 2:31 PM
Sometimes I wish I could know weird stats like which adult human hasn't thought about earthworms for the longest time
Incredible discovery: Dalmatian dogs evolved spots to confuse lions on the Savannah
January 10, 2024 at 9:54 AM
Incredible discovery: Dalmatian dogs evolved spots to confuse lions on the Savannah
Make sure you get your RDI of PFAS and microplastics today!!
Gut biome health is sooo crucial 🫶
Gut biome health is sooo crucial 🫶
January 9, 2024 at 8:37 AM
Make sure you get your RDI of PFAS and microplastics today!!
Gut biome health is sooo crucial 🫶
Gut biome health is sooo crucial 🫶
guys who dont believe in ghosts will simultaneously look at a helicopter like "yeah that makes sense"
January 5, 2024 at 8:39 AM
guys who dont believe in ghosts will simultaneously look at a helicopter like "yeah that makes sense"
first thing I do when I get new cookware is scrape all the Teflon off into the food! My bowels are entirely coated with the sh*t and everything I eat pass through me in 15min flat completely
Biggest productivity hack ever,.. honestly game & life changing!!
Biggest productivity hack ever,.. honestly game & life changing!!
January 4, 2024 at 12:34 PM
first thing I do when I get new cookware is scrape all the Teflon off into the food! My bowels are entirely coated with the sh*t and everything I eat pass through me in 15min flat completely
Biggest productivity hack ever,.. honestly game & life changing!!
Biggest productivity hack ever,.. honestly game & life changing!!