Dave Shay
@cigarettedave.bsky.social
Philly comedy booker & unemployed joke writer
The fact that Sinners didn’t have a dreamy “Steve’s Lava Chicken” music sequence is proof that capitalism’s grip on Hollywood still has some daylight between the fingers…
April 28, 2025 at 2:45 AM
The fact that Sinners didn’t have a dreamy “Steve’s Lava Chicken” music sequence is proof that capitalism’s grip on Hollywood still has some daylight between the fingers…
Sinners was like “What if Pixar was to Pokémon-evolve into live action thrillers?”
April 26, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Sinners was like “What if Pixar was to Pokémon-evolve into live action thrillers?”
This is all just an April fools day prank designed to make us liberal peaceniks reconsider our new lord and savior, the second amendment.
April 7, 2025 at 3:24 AM
This is all just an April fools day prank designed to make us liberal peaceniks reconsider our new lord and savior, the second amendment.
Is capitalism starting to get extra creepy? Why are so many companies thirsting to buy my house for cash? My house is a piece of sh*t! Its ONE upside is that I don’t have to hit up Jimbo Knibb for couch-crashing. WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP?
Get F*cked.
Get F*cked.
March 24, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Is capitalism starting to get extra creepy? Why are so many companies thirsting to buy my house for cash? My house is a piece of sh*t! Its ONE upside is that I don’t have to hit up Jimbo Knibb for couch-crashing. WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP?
Get F*cked.
Get F*cked.
I’m no longer “googling” anything, no longer using google as a verb. From now on, I am “asking Jeeves” about it. Use it or lose it, jerks. It’s 1996 somewhere. Happy MySpacing!
March 21, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I’m no longer “googling” anything, no longer using google as a verb. From now on, I am “asking Jeeves” about it. Use it or lose it, jerks. It’s 1996 somewhere. Happy MySpacing!
Reposted by Dave Shay
Hi!
Here is a quick reminder that I am still Kevin Ketner, comic book editor for just about a decade, having worked on several Eisner-nominated projects, and I am currently without a job!
I am looking for freelance and/or full-time editing work. I promise I'm cool!
Here is a quick reminder that I am still Kevin Ketner, comic book editor for just about a decade, having worked on several Eisner-nominated projects, and I am currently without a job!
I am looking for freelance and/or full-time editing work. I promise I'm cool!
March 10, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Hi!
Here is a quick reminder that I am still Kevin Ketner, comic book editor for just about a decade, having worked on several Eisner-nominated projects, and I am currently without a job!
I am looking for freelance and/or full-time editing work. I promise I'm cool!
Here is a quick reminder that I am still Kevin Ketner, comic book editor for just about a decade, having worked on several Eisner-nominated projects, and I am currently without a job!
I am looking for freelance and/or full-time editing work. I promise I'm cool!
The fact that it’s impossible to imagine Mr. Rogers f*cking is precisely why liberalism will never win over fascism. This update is brought to you by Cigarettes™
March 6, 2025 at 4:23 AM
The fact that it’s impossible to imagine Mr. Rogers f*cking is precisely why liberalism will never win over fascism. This update is brought to you by Cigarettes™
Brian at work just described Mike at work as “reverse frat”. Which I have to assume simply means that when you get really sober around him he tries to write “forehead” on your peener.
February 28, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Brian at work just described Mike at work as “reverse frat”. Which I have to assume simply means that when you get really sober around him he tries to write “forehead” on your peener.
I don’t have time to elaborate but the most important sentence in 1984 is “Only by reconciling contradictions can power be retained indefinitely.” Have a great day! 😃
February 18, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I don’t have time to elaborate but the most important sentence in 1984 is “Only by reconciling contradictions can power be retained indefinitely.” Have a great day! 😃
January 21, 2025 at 10:29 AM
[Takes exactly one (1) marijuana:] “Mulholland Drive is just Eyes Wide Shut for Saint Vincent fans who prefer “Los Ageless” as the best track on Masseduction over “New York.” …and vice versa.” 🌇 🌃 🍁😴
January 20, 2025 at 9:11 PM
[Takes exactly one (1) marijuana:] “Mulholland Drive is just Eyes Wide Shut for Saint Vincent fans who prefer “Los Ageless” as the best track on Masseduction over “New York.” …and vice versa.” 🌇 🌃 🍁😴
Who made this..?? 😂
January 15, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Who made this..?? 😂
In a Simpsons-esque motion, the swirling cloud of burning asbestos hovering over Hollywood will be traveling in one singular blob directly to the Sioux Tribe at Standing Rock North Dakota, permanently. 🚬
January 15, 2025 at 12:13 AM
In a Simpsons-esque motion, the swirling cloud of burning asbestos hovering over Hollywood will be traveling in one singular blob directly to the Sioux Tribe at Standing Rock North Dakota, permanently. 🚬
“Are Rolexes over? Meet the new class of status watches!” is the kind of news headline that makes Zark Muckerberg’s lizard tongue thwap over his unblinking left eyeball with the kind of squeegee sound that used to make the Winklevoss twins dry-heave during a deposition hearing. 🚬
January 14, 2025 at 5:05 AM
“Are Rolexes over? Meet the new class of status watches!” is the kind of news headline that makes Zark Muckerberg’s lizard tongue thwap over his unblinking left eyeball with the kind of squeegee sound that used to make the Winklevoss twins dry-heave during a deposition hearing. 🚬
Unauthorized drones gumming up L.A.’s aerial firefighting efforts is somewhere between “pacific trash continent” and “space debris” in the penultimate season of Man vs. Nature. 🚬
January 14, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Unauthorized drones gumming up L.A.’s aerial firefighting efforts is somewhere between “pacific trash continent” and “space debris” in the penultimate season of Man vs. Nature. 🚬
I’m only eating soup for the rest of the month. January can go eff itself. 🚬
January 11, 2025 at 4:18 PM
I’m only eating soup for the rest of the month. January can go eff itself. 🚬
My favorite brand of hard candy is Werther’s Deep Fake.
January 10, 2025 at 8:43 PM
My favorite brand of hard candy is Werther’s Deep Fake.
My favorite verse in #GarthBrooks “Friends in Low Places” is when the background singers yell “Oh well-uh well-uh well-uh HUH! Tell me more, tell me more, like do they have a job..!?”
January 10, 2025 at 11:34 AM
My favorite verse in #GarthBrooks “Friends in Low Places” is when the background singers yell “Oh well-uh well-uh well-uh HUH! Tell me more, tell me more, like do they have a job..!?”
My new year’s resolution is to drown my election disappointment by experiencing everything ever mentioned in the Stefon nightclubs. (HMU if you know any sherpas in Philly.)
January 9, 2025 at 4:00 AM
My new year’s resolution is to drown my election disappointment by experiencing everything ever mentioned in the Stefon nightclubs. (HMU if you know any sherpas in Philly.)
A serene calm washes over my brain as #WWE introduces State Farm, Cricket Mobile, and Snickers to streaming giant Netflix, just as the creator intended. [THX sound]
January 7, 2025 at 2:35 AM
A serene calm washes over my brain as #WWE introduces State Farm, Cricket Mobile, and Snickers to streaming giant Netflix, just as the creator intended. [THX sound]