Laying and bed and getting anxiety shakes badly. I feel sick. I feel so alone and am lowkey on the brink of a panic attack

I don't like being alone with my thoughts like this. I don't like being alone

Nauseous again, I can't believe it's Tuesday. Ive felt nervous the past two nights, I've bit my nails bc of it to the point all my fingers hurt bc I bit too short. I hate the situation I'm in rn. I hate waiting anxiously.

I hate getting anxious that I'm just having a big joke played on me.

Feeling like shit mentally day 2 and then hopping on valo ranked and feeling like shit even more! This wasn't supposed to be how this weekend went and now its over. Its wasted again. Why do I get my hopes up anymore😔

The way my jaw dropped when I opened TikTok and my friend sent me this.. like hoe fuck you!! Wdym u know my lore after being my friend for 5 years and hearing me tell you everything /lh

My chest is getting that aching feeling in it again :(

Can't believe I was so stupid to think I actually mattered to someone. If my family doesn't love or care about meme why did I ever think anyone else would...

I wish this account was private so bad

I feel people try to stop me from kms bc they just want to save themselves from guilt.

No one fr wants me here. They want me around bc they don't have anyone else. I'm not valued.

They'll leave when they've found who or what they actually want and I'll still be here, stupidly clinging to hope.

It sucks staying up at night restless bc the thoughts of how i ended up like this and how it feels like nothing will ever get better feel suffocating. How my family wants forgiveness for not trying to help me escape abuse. Yet I'm here picking up the pieces of what's left of me. I feel so worthless.

Hoping I die in my sleep tonight fellas, im not gonna hold u.

But I fear I'm just not that lucky so off to bed and cry some more watching tiktoks so i dont cry too much bc i cant afford an inhaler rn 💪