Woke up to some posts I don't remember making, had to delete them of course. Posting while black out is basically as bad as using AI to write them
December 7, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Woke up to some posts I don't remember making, had to delete them of course. Posting while black out is basically as bad as using AI to write them
Tried to buy a girl a drink and she told me her friend had already gotten her a drink and then I never saw her again. Ah well I couldn't have afforded both our drinks anyway
December 7, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Tried to buy a girl a drink and she told me her friend had already gotten her a drink and then I never saw her again. Ah well I couldn't have afforded both our drinks anyway
Thank you Instagram for having an edit button. Nothing more embarrassing than pouring your soul out to your favorite brand via dm and realizing you mis named the product line you were gushing about #firstworldproblems
December 7, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Thank you Instagram for having an edit button. Nothing more embarrassing than pouring your soul out to your favorite brand via dm and realizing you mis named the product line you were gushing about #firstworldproblems
Oh no I'm bill Simmons
December 6, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Oh no I'm bill Simmons
Girls will excuse themselves to use the bathroom like it's a classified mission you're not authorized to know about. Guys will announce to you that they gotta go drop some brown and then return to report how much weight they lost to the nearest lb
December 5, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Girls will excuse themselves to use the bathroom like it's a classified mission you're not authorized to know about. Guys will announce to you that they gotta go drop some brown and then return to report how much weight they lost to the nearest lb
Trynna figure out if I'm too drunk to hit on ladies tonight. If I have to ask then probably
December 5, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Trynna figure out if I'm too drunk to hit on ladies tonight. If I have to ask then probably
Always wondering if I should wake up guys passed out on the train to let them know it's going the other way now from when they got on it but usually I settle on "they must know that, don't need me to remind them"
December 4, 2025 at 8:37 AM
Always wondering if I should wake up guys passed out on the train to let them know it's going the other way now from when they got on it but usually I settle on "they must know that, don't need me to remind them"
How do I get my phone to actually play my music loud. Also unrelated but how do I turn off the "lower volumes are better for your ears" alert
December 3, 2025 at 6:31 AM
How do I get my phone to actually play my music loud. Also unrelated but how do I turn off the "lower volumes are better for your ears" alert
Trying to get my Spotify and ticketmaster apps to talk to each other like feuding family. Okay Ticketmaster is open to you, why not just send the link? Oksy spotify sent the link, maybe you could just load it real quick? Okay Ticketmaster isn't taking the link, did you ask it nicely, etc
December 3, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Trying to get my Spotify and ticketmaster apps to talk to each other like feuding family. Okay Ticketmaster is open to you, why not just send the link? Oksy spotify sent the link, maybe you could just load it real quick? Okay Ticketmaster isn't taking the link, did you ask it nicely, etc
Walking slow motion to chief keef. I'm talking reeeeeally slow like grandma with a walker speed, and blowing loud
December 3, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Walking slow motion to chief keef. I'm talking reeeeeally slow like grandma with a walker speed, and blowing loud
Watching house of the dragon drunk and identifying all the decisions I would have made better than the characters 🍻
November 29, 2025 at 7:41 AM
Watching house of the dragon drunk and identifying all the decisions I would have made better than the characters 🍻
Man I must be looking good tonight first time I've gotten a free drink from a bartender and it wasn't my birthday
November 25, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Man I must be looking good tonight first time I've gotten a free drink from a bartender and it wasn't my birthday
Can't wait to pull up Hulu and watch John wick 3: parabellum starring Jason Mantzoukas
November 6, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Can't wait to pull up Hulu and watch John wick 3: parabellum starring Jason Mantzoukas
If you're ever debating a right winger your primary goal should be to get them to admit which podcast they get all their news from
October 23, 2025 at 11:59 PM
If you're ever debating a right winger your primary goal should be to get them to admit which podcast they get all their news from
I don't like AI but also I think its always funny to see "this will be used to trick people!!" warnings above very obviously fake looking meme videos like they just found out you can lie to other people but only if you use a robot to do it
October 23, 2025 at 11:54 PM
I don't like AI but also I think its always funny to see "this will be used to trick people!!" warnings above very obviously fake looking meme videos like they just found out you can lie to other people but only if you use a robot to do it
Lately been stealing my fashion sense from the emperor. All black hoodies and sparkles from my fingers
October 23, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Lately been stealing my fashion sense from the emperor. All black hoodies and sparkles from my fingers
Atheist hell is ending up in Christian heaven and having to spend eternity eating crow for how wrong you called it
October 23, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Atheist hell is ending up in Christian heaven and having to spend eternity eating crow for how wrong you called it
It's fun to log on here every couple of days or so, see what everyone is getting mad about today (it's always something I didn't hear about before), do absolutely zero looking into it or following up, and then log off and instantly forget about it
October 22, 2025 at 11:06 PM
It's fun to log on here every couple of days or so, see what everyone is getting mad about today (it's always something I didn't hear about before), do absolutely zero looking into it or following up, and then log off and instantly forget about it
Wish real life had a fast forward 10 hr button like Skyrim
October 21, 2025 at 9:41 AM
Wish real life had a fast forward 10 hr button like Skyrim
Hit a 14 like reply the other day and it felt like I was back in my prime days of 200 follower account
October 21, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Hit a 14 like reply the other day and it felt like I was back in my prime days of 200 follower account
I was proud of the Lions beating the ravens at the time lol. They must have gotten the blue flu
October 12, 2025 at 10:12 PM
I was proud of the Lions beating the ravens at the time lol. They must have gotten the blue flu
I use the 🔥 emoji more than any other letter on the keyboard 🔥🔥🔥
October 12, 2025 at 10:10 PM
I use the 🔥 emoji more than any other letter on the keyboard 🔥🔥🔥
It feels like every time I try to put myself out there and care about something I hit a brick wall or get shut down. I wish I could get to a point in my life where I can succeed at something I want to do.
September 12, 2025 at 2:39 PM
It feels like every time I try to put myself out there and care about something I hit a brick wall or get shut down. I wish I could get to a point in my life where I can succeed at something I want to do.