Chompy
@chompytweets.bsky.social
Just curious, did you notarize your enemy oath? I’m considering a couple of sworn enemies but if I have to drag my ass to Chase to sign in front of a notary, I can’t be bothered.
September 22, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Just curious, did you notarize your enemy oath? I’m considering a couple of sworn enemies but if I have to drag my ass to Chase to sign in front of a notary, I can’t be bothered.
No one will convince me that Bove isn’t 67 and on trial in the Hague for leading a military junta in Argentina.
September 22, 2025 at 11:21 PM
No one will convince me that Bove isn’t 67 and on trial in the Hague for leading a military junta in Argentina.
Gross Gas Enthusiast Breaks Silence on Goldfish Crackers and You Won’t Believe What He Has To Say
September 18, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Gross Gas Enthusiast Breaks Silence on Goldfish Crackers and You Won’t Believe What He Has To Say
It feels like a relic of a pre Tik Tok, pre any-asshole-with-a-podcast world of depth and rigor (with the added bonus of being funny and entertaining). More hopefully, it could be a beacon to other such content in the new media landscape.
September 12, 2025 at 2:25 PM
It feels like a relic of a pre Tik Tok, pre any-asshole-with-a-podcast world of depth and rigor (with the added bonus of being funny and entertaining). More hopefully, it could be a beacon to other such content in the new media landscape.
Earnestly try to govern well across the board, fuck up once or twice: get crucified.
Don’t give a shit, do a thousand bad things a day, including some criminal ones: it’s all just noise and cancels out.
Trump really found the hack and the effect on our republic has, uh, not been good.
Don’t give a shit, do a thousand bad things a day, including some criminal ones: it’s all just noise and cancels out.
Trump really found the hack and the effect on our republic has, uh, not been good.
September 8, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Earnestly try to govern well across the board, fuck up once or twice: get crucified.
Don’t give a shit, do a thousand bad things a day, including some criminal ones: it’s all just noise and cancels out.
Trump really found the hack and the effect on our republic has, uh, not been good.
Don’t give a shit, do a thousand bad things a day, including some criminal ones: it’s all just noise and cancels out.
Trump really found the hack and the effect on our republic has, uh, not been good.
A Victorian would learn the iphone within a day and be posting “Victorian Reacts to the Modern World” Tik Toks by Thanksgiving.
Jeffries on the other hand has absolutely no hope because his political incompetence and lack of sincerity and conviction is so ingrained. Same for Schumer.
Jeffries on the other hand has absolutely no hope because his political incompetence and lack of sincerity and conviction is so ingrained. Same for Schumer.
September 3, 2025 at 1:21 PM
A Victorian would learn the iphone within a day and be posting “Victorian Reacts to the Modern World” Tik Toks by Thanksgiving.
Jeffries on the other hand has absolutely no hope because his political incompetence and lack of sincerity and conviction is so ingrained. Same for Schumer.
Jeffries on the other hand has absolutely no hope because his political incompetence and lack of sincerity and conviction is so ingrained. Same for Schumer.
In fairness, New York is the Santo Domingo of America.
August 21, 2025 at 12:56 AM
In fairness, New York is the Santo Domingo of America.
I don’t know if this is a hot take, but America is not going to elect this guy president.
You don’t give someone you suspect wears a gimp outfit and who you kind of want to stuff in a locker the nuclear codes.
You don’t give someone you suspect wears a gimp outfit and who you kind of want to stuff in a locker the nuclear codes.
August 21, 2025 at 12:54 AM
I don’t know if this is a hot take, but America is not going to elect this guy president.
You don’t give someone you suspect wears a gimp outfit and who you kind of want to stuff in a locker the nuclear codes.
You don’t give someone you suspect wears a gimp outfit and who you kind of want to stuff in a locker the nuclear codes.
This Lloyd Moseby erasure will not stand.
August 17, 2025 at 11:23 PM
This Lloyd Moseby erasure will not stand.
Been a minute, hasn’t it?
I almost forgot what this felt like.
Cowboy Ohtani to the rescue.
I almost forgot what this felt like.
Cowboy Ohtani to the rescue.
August 16, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Been a minute, hasn’t it?
I almost forgot what this felt like.
Cowboy Ohtani to the rescue.
I almost forgot what this felt like.
Cowboy Ohtani to the rescue.
Bravo.
I remember being so confused the first time I saw motion smoothing at someone’s house.
Was this major Hollywood movie shot on a 1990’s home camcorder? Is your tv broken? Am I having a stroke? Wtf is happening?
I remember being so confused the first time I saw motion smoothing at someone’s house.
Was this major Hollywood movie shot on a 1990’s home camcorder? Is your tv broken? Am I having a stroke? Wtf is happening?
August 16, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Bravo.
I remember being so confused the first time I saw motion smoothing at someone’s house.
Was this major Hollywood movie shot on a 1990’s home camcorder? Is your tv broken? Am I having a stroke? Wtf is happening?
I remember being so confused the first time I saw motion smoothing at someone’s house.
Was this major Hollywood movie shot on a 1990’s home camcorder? Is your tv broken? Am I having a stroke? Wtf is happening?
We’re raising two girls and I will be so satisfied if at 24 they turn out as nice, enthusiastic, curious, and open to the world as Riley is. It’s what we work towards.
These guys are just clueless man. And by herding together, their worst rather than best qualities stand out. They’re so insecure.
These guys are just clueless man. And by herding together, their worst rather than best qualities stand out. They’re so insecure.
August 15, 2025 at 8:06 PM
We’re raising two girls and I will be so satisfied if at 24 they turn out as nice, enthusiastic, curious, and open to the world as Riley is. It’s what we work towards.
These guys are just clueless man. And by herding together, their worst rather than best qualities stand out. They’re so insecure.
These guys are just clueless man. And by herding together, their worst rather than best qualities stand out. They’re so insecure.
The Mets play again tonight so, yeah, I need five.
August 8, 2025 at 8:31 PM
The Mets play again tonight so, yeah, I need five.
Worst Nosferatu reboot ever
August 7, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Worst Nosferatu reboot ever
The question is where would that pressure come from? Ordinary people have taken to the streets, but institutions? Businesses, media, universities, congress (lol)? All silent. In the “home of the brave” all of the power centers that can afford to be brave are instead just a bunch of pussies.
August 2, 2025 at 2:35 PM
The question is where would that pressure come from? Ordinary people have taken to the streets, but institutions? Businesses, media, universities, congress (lol)? All silent. In the “home of the brave” all of the power centers that can afford to be brave are instead just a bunch of pussies.
It is kind of noteworthy that every time we’ve elected Republicans in my adult life we become a country that sanctions, facilitates, and/or outright performs torture.
It is not even a remote exaggeration to say that 21st century Republicans are a party of sadists.
It is not even a remote exaggeration to say that 21st century Republicans are a party of sadists.
July 30, 2025 at 1:49 PM
It is kind of noteworthy that every time we’ve elected Republicans in my adult life we become a country that sanctions, facilitates, and/or outright performs torture.
It is not even a remote exaggeration to say that 21st century Republicans are a party of sadists.
It is not even a remote exaggeration to say that 21st century Republicans are a party of sadists.
All that to say (and as you are experiencing) NYers are downright *delightful* but people have to, you know, actually meet them, which most tourists fail to do.
July 29, 2025 at 7:20 PM
All that to say (and as you are experiencing) NYers are downright *delightful* but people have to, you know, actually meet them, which most tourists fail to do.
I haven’t lived in the city since the late 2000’s, but every time I hear non NYers talk about how “rude” NYers are, I’m like “let me guess, you stayed at a midtown hotel, went to Times Square, the Empire State, the Statue of Liberty, and were just surrounded by other tourists the whole time?”
July 29, 2025 at 7:18 PM
I haven’t lived in the city since the late 2000’s, but every time I hear non NYers talk about how “rude” NYers are, I’m like “let me guess, you stayed at a midtown hotel, went to Times Square, the Empire State, the Statue of Liberty, and were just surrounded by other tourists the whole time?”
It would not be unusual for a kid to have posters of baseball stars not even from their favorite team. These were just titans, first and foremost.
It is crazy and sad that an 80’s kid could easily have had Ryno, Gwynn, and Kirby posters and now all three are gone, way (way) too soon.
It is crazy and sad that an 80’s kid could easily have had Ryno, Gwynn, and Kirby posters and now all three are gone, way (way) too soon.
July 29, 2025 at 1:49 AM
It would not be unusual for a kid to have posters of baseball stars not even from their favorite team. These were just titans, first and foremost.
It is crazy and sad that an 80’s kid could easily have had Ryno, Gwynn, and Kirby posters and now all three are gone, way (way) too soon.
It is crazy and sad that an 80’s kid could easily have had Ryno, Gwynn, and Kirby posters and now all three are gone, way (way) too soon.
Yeah, but you did go to Mexico that one time for vacation, didn’t you Brian?! How’s that suntan treating you, asshole?
(For the record, I have no idea if you’ve ever sunbathed in Mexico but it’s a reasonable guess)
(For the record, I have no idea if you’ve ever sunbathed in Mexico but it’s a reasonable guess)
July 29, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Yeah, but you did go to Mexico that one time for vacation, didn’t you Brian?! How’s that suntan treating you, asshole?
(For the record, I have no idea if you’ve ever sunbathed in Mexico but it’s a reasonable guess)
(For the record, I have no idea if you’ve ever sunbathed in Mexico but it’s a reasonable guess)
Evergreen sentiment these days.
July 28, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Evergreen sentiment these days.
… to regain some lost D voters, particularly young men; to be an almost perfect foil to the Trump years; and to avoid some of the weaknesses of the others (AOC house experience only, far left; buttigieg weak with black voters, etc.)
July 28, 2025 at 5:36 PM
… to regain some lost D voters, particularly young men; to be an almost perfect foil to the Trump years; and to avoid some of the weaknesses of the others (AOC house experience only, far left; buttigieg weak with black voters, etc.)
I don’t know, if he says in 2027 after winning reelection that he is not interested, I’ll believe him. Before then, disavowing all interest can just be smart horse-before-cart politics.
If I were a bettor, I would still take that flyer. If he ran, I predict he’d be best positioned to catch fire 1/2
If I were a bettor, I would still take that flyer. If he ran, I predict he’d be best positioned to catch fire 1/2
July 28, 2025 at 5:33 PM
I don’t know, if he says in 2027 after winning reelection that he is not interested, I’ll believe him. Before then, disavowing all interest can just be smart horse-before-cart politics.
If I were a bettor, I would still take that flyer. If he ran, I predict he’d be best positioned to catch fire 1/2
If I were a bettor, I would still take that flyer. If he ran, I predict he’d be best positioned to catch fire 1/2