void boy
@cholula-imbiber.bsky.social
this is your pal's alt. blocked if we're not mutuals on main.
if i follow you feel free to follow back but keep it quiet yeah? ty.
my gender is a fuck my sex is whatever i wasn't before
feeding off of psychological nitrates
if i follow you feel free to follow back but keep it quiet yeah? ty.
my gender is a fuck my sex is whatever i wasn't before
feeding off of psychological nitrates
talked w/ my zucchini...idk how much this will work out. if she leaves and finds her way elsewhere, it will hurt, i will worry for her deeply. but i'm not in a place to take a gamble of this magnitude yet. if she has only me to lean on i fear she may fall, and we will both feel more broken for it.
November 1, 2025 at 12:04 AM
talked w/ my zucchini...idk how much this will work out. if she leaves and finds her way elsewhere, it will hurt, i will worry for her deeply. but i'm not in a place to take a gamble of this magnitude yet. if she has only me to lean on i fear she may fall, and we will both feel more broken for it.
i still feel genderless a lot of the time but i've noticed that the fleeting moments where i experience a positive sense of gender have become increasingly split 50/50 between "i'm just a girl teehee" and "i'm so boy, bro" instead of always boy. which is kinda fun. real time fluid dynamics, ig.
October 30, 2025 at 12:49 AM
i still feel genderless a lot of the time but i've noticed that the fleeting moments where i experience a positive sense of gender have become increasingly split 50/50 between "i'm just a girl teehee" and "i'm so boy, bro" instead of always boy. which is kinda fun. real time fluid dynamics, ig.
got some good relationship advice that put my uhaul lesbian wishes in check, but it's really hard to accept that it's good advice when i feel like it comes from someone who has a pathological need to help people.
October 29, 2025 at 2:06 PM
got some good relationship advice that put my uhaul lesbian wishes in check, but it's really hard to accept that it's good advice when i feel like it comes from someone who has a pathological need to help people.
i need some people to care about me less ffs
October 29, 2025 at 1:56 AM
i need some people to care about me less ffs
love those kinds of nudes where you look at them and you're like "oh shit, that's ME. whoa i'm kinda hot ngl."
October 28, 2025 at 4:52 PM
love those kinds of nudes where you look at them and you're like "oh shit, that's ME. whoa i'm kinda hot ngl."
what's the difference between fluid and vapor anyway
October 28, 2025 at 3:36 PM
what's the difference between fluid and vapor anyway
like. the love i have for my love, my zucchini...it is incredible. i have this inhuman want: to dote on her, to spoil her beyond measure, to let her slacken in my arms and let her guard down absolutely. i want to be trusted like that. it's so much. one day we will have the words for it.
we are approaching some kind of personal event horizon, in any case. we will see what awaits once the threshold has been crossed.
❤️🩹
❤️🩹
October 28, 2025 at 1:33 AM
like. the love i have for my love, my zucchini...it is incredible. i have this inhuman want: to dote on her, to spoil her beyond measure, to let her slacken in my arms and let her guard down absolutely. i want to be trusted like that. it's so much. one day we will have the words for it.
think i'm having a crisis of confidence with my aromanticism. not sure if this is a mourning, and if so, what is being mourned:
October 28, 2025 at 1:26 AM
think i'm having a crisis of confidence with my aromanticism. not sure if this is a mourning, and if so, what is being mourned:
slowly but surely unfurling my wings.
October 27, 2025 at 1:17 AM
slowly but surely unfurling my wings.
detaching myself from my thoughts and observing them from afar. like cloudwatching but for cognition. useful stuff, i think.
October 23, 2025 at 6:28 PM
detaching myself from my thoughts and observing them from afar. like cloudwatching but for cognition. useful stuff, i think.
thinking i would generally prefer to love more and care less
October 23, 2025 at 5:59 PM
thinking i would generally prefer to love more and care less
shift over. 7 days in a row. one day off tomorrow, then back to work, on the bright side i see my zucchini again saturday. but eugh. tired. want to work full-time and actually have decent days off, not part-time without a proper break. soonish, hopefully.
October 22, 2025 at 11:50 PM
shift over. 7 days in a row. one day off tomorrow, then back to work, on the bright side i see my zucchini again saturday. but eugh. tired. want to work full-time and actually have decent days off, not part-time without a proper break. soonish, hopefully.
had a bit of a scare but my insurance card is finally here with me. gonna try and get as much of my medical shit in order in one fell swoop as i can. find a new laser tech, maybe try and resume psych testing to get an adhd diagnosis/meds. figure some shit out. 🤞
October 21, 2025 at 2:52 AM
had a bit of a scare but my insurance card is finally here with me. gonna try and get as much of my medical shit in order in one fell swoop as i can. find a new laser tech, maybe try and resume psych testing to get an adhd diagnosis/meds. figure some shit out. 🤞
feels like i’m hearing dial tones in the midnight air…
October 20, 2025 at 4:01 AM
feels like i’m hearing dial tones in the midnight air…
just a small win but i bought new, more comfy/easy-to-wear masks, and i've been masking consistently at work again. :) glad to feel like i'm being at least a little bit more responsible at work now.
October 20, 2025 at 2:43 AM
just a small win but i bought new, more comfy/easy-to-wear masks, and i've been masking consistently at work again. :) glad to feel like i'm being at least a little bit more responsible at work now.
love my zucchini. she is so strong but i wish she didn't need to be so strong. i wish i were stronger, so that i might let her be weaker. gahhhhh yearning hurts sometimes.
October 16, 2025 at 2:01 AM
love my zucchini. she is so strong but i wish she didn't need to be so strong. i wish i were stronger, so that i might let her be weaker. gahhhhh yearning hurts sometimes.
kind of want to start pilfering bandaids from work once i switch from pills to injections. not even for reasons of necessity. just the principle of the matter.
October 15, 2025 at 3:59 AM
kind of want to start pilfering bandaids from work once i switch from pills to injections. not even for reasons of necessity. just the principle of the matter.
had a dream about kissing last night. ts has literally never happened before. my subconscious might be telling me something...does it...does it think i'm gay? inconceivable...ok, it might be a little conceivable.
October 14, 2025 at 3:14 PM
had a dream about kissing last night. ts has literally never happened before. my subconscious might be telling me something...does it...does it think i'm gay? inconceivable...ok, it might be a little conceivable.
basically, i just had a couple long days at work, felt like shit, told her, and remembered the flame of the feelings. i imagine this will happen again in the future.
October 13, 2025 at 6:06 AM
basically, i just had a couple long days at work, felt like shit, told her, and remembered the flame of the feelings. i imagine this will happen again in the future.
she takes me in her arms and says “ohhh baby. don’t cry baby.”
she lays me on her bed, stands atop me, and kneels down to meet my face, which she then graces with kisses.
she tells me she loves me, and when i say it back, when i scratch her hair, she purrs.
these are absences which weigh heavy.
she lays me on her bed, stands atop me, and kneels down to meet my face, which she then graces with kisses.
she tells me she loves me, and when i say it back, when i scratch her hair, she purrs.
these are absences which weigh heavy.
i miss you so much that it’s starting to weigh on my sinuses.
October 13, 2025 at 6:04 AM
she takes me in her arms and says “ohhh baby. don’t cry baby.”
she lays me on her bed, stands atop me, and kneels down to meet my face, which she then graces with kisses.
she tells me she loves me, and when i say it back, when i scratch her hair, she purrs.
these are absences which weigh heavy.
she lays me on her bed, stands atop me, and kneels down to meet my face, which she then graces with kisses.
she tells me she loves me, and when i say it back, when i scratch her hair, she purrs.
these are absences which weigh heavy.
really need to make a playlist of songs i’ve cried to at this point.
October 13, 2025 at 5:01 AM
really need to make a playlist of songs i’ve cried to at this point.
i miss you so much that it’s starting to weigh on my sinuses.
October 13, 2025 at 4:59 AM
i miss you so much that it’s starting to weigh on my sinuses.
venting a bit more on main recently and i think in my mind the utility of this alt still stands. this is the place for venting, but without any of the ironic or preemptively apologetic/self-effacing detachment. whether i’m frequent on here is another thing but yeah. take that for what it’s worth ig.
October 12, 2025 at 11:53 PM
venting a bit more on main recently and i think in my mind the utility of this alt still stands. this is the place for venting, but without any of the ironic or preemptively apologetic/self-effacing detachment. whether i’m frequent on here is another thing but yeah. take that for what it’s worth ig.
therapist said i looked cute. all is well in the world.
group therapy resuming in 1 week 😌🙏
October 11, 2025 at 5:30 PM
therapist said i looked cute. all is well in the world.
group therapy resuming in 1 week 😌🙏
October 3, 2025 at 4:43 PM
group therapy resuming in 1 week 😌🙏