Ive been watching Amazon prime tv and every time I pause or accidentally press the voice assistant thing it gives me another unskippable ad I love America I love capitalism

You are exactly the type of person being parodied by the meme so of course you wouldn’t understand it

There’s no way you just said that

for me it was the Australian study that found that 1 in 6 men admitted to being pedophiles and 1 in 10 admitted to sexually abusing children

I told my painting teacher I loved Gauguin's art style but couldn't get past how much of a creep he was and she was like "ok, then steal from him and don't feel guilty!"

champaign: northern cuisine, golden harbor, baldarotta's, kohinoor

I mostly care about the fact that im the one who has to wipe them off and get sticky

I've gotten the good ole "church pamphlet instead of a cash tip" and this is exactly what it feels like. "Jesus loves you but you're definitely going to hell, you evil sinner."

I worked at the zoo and I would regularly see people bringing their fresh ass newborns on all-day trips in the summer so I guess the other option is just cook the baby

He saw me holding a box of biryani spice blend and a bottle of rose extract and he was like "oh you want rose water, rose extract is for baking"

im a barista and I watch certain coworkers do this daily with the iced coffees. like hundreds of times

probably because this went very viral

im all for glistening but I do think "looking your age" being the worst punishment someone can think of for a woman is pretty uh telling

I got shawarma on a first date and I could only eat half so I tossed the rest but it was one of those trash cans with the swinging door and the door swung closed and pushed all the contents of my tray onto the floor and I didn't know what to do so I just left. I think he got the ick

yeah no shit