Burt’s Bees is wild. At one point a family of bees blew chunks and now I’m delicately rubbing the vomit on my lips.

Been trying out new farts lately. People are digging it.

Hey there!

*looks around* gosh, I guess I’m new here.

*shivers* I hope it’s friendly!

Follow me if you like:

🤘🏼 rock and roll
👾 game
☠️ pirate fan fic (erotic)
👑 the royal family
😢 crying in the shower
😈 being a lil stinker
😷 wish covid was back
🎳 bowling (non-erotic)
🥏 pro ultimate frisbee

People are saying I look like a fatter, shorter John Krasinski with a different face.