I hate that this happened. I’m sorry.

I’m missing some things I know.
Any other suggestions are welcome. Please comment.
Create the community you want to live in.

4) recruit your friends to be proactive, as in doing here, and in person. Especially cis white gays. Especially. Cis white privileged gays are sometimes oblivious to the reality of others. Change that. Call them out. Be the change. Nicely. And if they don’t get it be a dick.

And let themdig a hole. Just like above. And I’m not apologetic about this, but I intentionally use how I present to signal acceptance and inclusivity. No one will fucking argue with me when I say someone is welcome. Y’all know I’m a softy, and yall know i have “resting nurse face”

This does two things; it makes them feel welcome in the space (they fucking are), and it signals to anyone else who may feel differently that they are indeed welcome. And if you look like me, no one is going to fucking argue with me. And if they do, I look puzzled and simply ask “why?”

There’s a pattern, when someone feels “othered” and sees someone who presents like me approaching usually they get tense and self conscious, and when I compliment them they blossom, I usually get a giant smile and a hug and they feel way more comfortable in the space. I love this.

3) when you’re in a traditionally “gay” space and see someone who doesn’t typically fit the space they’re usually quiet, reserved and on guard. When this happens to me I intentionally walk up to them and say “you’re beautiful, thanks for coming/showing up, you belong here.” Because they are and do.

“You’re wrong” or “I don’t understand, why?” Or even my in person go to “Why?” And then shut up and let them dig themselves a hole in front of people. Let them be the fool. Then when they’re done say “no, you’re wrong”. No need for a lot of conversation or explanation, less is more sometimes.

Take a stand. As I do. Publicly.
Some of the actions I take consistently:
1) Make public statements, in person in front of literally everyone and online. Make it known where you stand.
2) When someone says anything even remotely anti trans/queer/fem/etc, call them out. It’s as easy as saying

Sometimes it startles me how handsome you are.

Very proud of you! Congratulations!!!

lmaooooo. Two corporations, both under national boycotts and one with employees across the country on strike collaborating on using the holidays to drum up business
You can’t write this crap.

perfect! stay just like that ! 🥵🥵