Chet Haase
chethaase.com
Chet Haase
@chethaase.com
Comedy writer, recovering software engineer.
Finding joy in saying nonsense with a straight face.
Most recent book: chethaase.com/androids
When this many vultures gather next to the running path, you start to question your life decisions
November 9, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Appreciation once again for the fun illustrations for the Androids book by the excellent @dsandler.org. And for this shirt showing the drawing from the book's introduction.
I resemble this guy more and more every day. Or at least my hair does.
October 14, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I love when subscriptions jack their price significantly, otherwise I might not notice a steady IV drip increase over time.
A sudden 50% hike is enough to remind me I really need to end my Adobe subscription.
I'm not saying it isn't worth it for power users. But I'm not one of them.
October 7, 2025 at 6:34 PM
How exciting my relationship with the US Post Office has become! I look forward to future harrowing spy missions.
September 17, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Lest you doubt the value of higher ed degrees, it took both my Math BA (blue) and CS masters (black) to raise my laptop to the right level on my desk. I'm still looking for how to best employ my recent writing degree, but it's not as thick (being, after all, a Masters of *Fine* Arts)
September 8, 2025 at 11:05 PM
After spending 3 hours on a 3.4 mile journey on i680 yesterday, it was hard not to appreciate the sarcasm in this exit ramp sign.
Well played, Caltrans.
July 27, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Amazon invited me to their Vine program (free stuff in exchange for reviews).
I'm looking forward to it - based on the "Recommended for You" page, they really get me.
July 25, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Vegetables roast better when they're dry, so I put them out to dry in the sun on the front porch after rinsing.
Some people leave snacks out for delivery people. Amazon drivers must wonder why we offer such weird healthy snacks.
December 31, 2024 at 9:49 PM
Our fake tree lasted through 15 years of family Christmases, but only 3 weeks of cats.
Dogs are good for protecting your nice stuff.
Cats are good for ensuring your stuff is no longer nice.
December 27, 2024 at 7:10 PM
I love the annual holiday tradition of going to choose a Christmas tree. Such a great return-to-nature moment in our busy, urban lives.
December 22, 2024 at 4:43 PM
When you get stressed out at work, it's good to remember what other jobs can be like.
I got terrified just looking at these guys, from the safety of the inside of my apartment. Meanwhile, they were having a casual chat with each other as they dangled 15 floors above the pavement.
December 17, 2024 at 8:23 PM
The temperature gets a "Feels like" value.
The wind speed deserves one, too. Especially in Chicago.
December 17, 2024 at 2:21 PM
Alright, Chicago.
Let's do this [running] thing.
December 13, 2024 at 3:08 PM
My main regret with the No Starch Press edition of my Androids book is that they somehow left out the intro quote from Ficus Kirkpatrick. It's such a great start to the story.

So Ficus and I fixed the problem today for the books I had on my shelves.
December 4, 2024 at 10:12 PM
The cats are *really* excited about Christmas this year.
November 29, 2024 at 5:26 PM