Charity Majors
@charity.wtf
cofounder/CTO @honeycombio, co-author of Observability Engineering and Database Reliability Engineering. I test in production and so do you. 🐝🏳️🌈🦄
If only I could remember which anonymously quoted friend I should honor, but I have gotten **so** **many** of these.
"Someone didn't realize that 'userid' shouldn't be enabled in a custom metric. That metric has been costing us $4500/month."
($4500/metric is on the low end, honestly.)
"Someone didn't realize that 'userid' shouldn't be enabled in a custom metric. That metric has been costing us $4500/month."
($4500/metric is on the low end, honestly.)
November 13, 2025 at 6:53 AM
If only I could remember which anonymously quoted friend I should honor, but I have gotten **so** **many** of these.
"Someone didn't realize that 'userid' shouldn't be enabled in a custom metric. That metric has been costing us $4500/month."
($4500/metric is on the low end, honestly.)
"Someone didn't realize that 'userid' shouldn't be enabled in a custom metric. That metric has been costing us $4500/month."
($4500/metric is on the low end, honestly.)
omg, how on earth did i forget about this wondrous gem of art by @forrestbrazeal.bsky.social?? 😭
more importantly, why did i not get this ENLARGED and FRAMED and HUNG IN MY OFFICE?
simmer down girl, we can fix this. is not too late.
more importantly, why did i not get this ENLARGED and FRAMED and HUNG IN MY OFFICE?
simmer down girl, we can fix this. is not too late.
November 13, 2025 at 6:39 AM
omg, how on earth did i forget about this wondrous gem of art by @forrestbrazeal.bsky.social?? 😭
more importantly, why did i not get this ENLARGED and FRAMED and HUNG IN MY OFFICE?
simmer down girl, we can fix this. is not too late.
more importantly, why did i not get this ENLARGED and FRAMED and HUNG IN MY OFFICE?
simmer down girl, we can fix this. is not too late.
tryna remember.. 🧐 when did I (mostly) stop shitposting about metrics? 🧐
was it in .. 2021? 2022? TO THE ARCHIVES! 🔪 🧐
was it in .. 2021? 2022? TO THE ARCHIVES! 🔪 🧐
November 13, 2025 at 6:34 AM
tryna remember.. 🧐 when did I (mostly) stop shitposting about metrics? 🧐
was it in .. 2021? 2022? TO THE ARCHIVES! 🔪 🧐
was it in .. 2021? 2022? TO THE ARCHIVES! 🔪 🧐
spotted in the wild!! go matty! 🙌
recently shipped a v2 of this sticker, which i like even better:
recently shipped a v2 of this sticker, which i like even better:
October 21, 2025 at 11:59 PM
spotted in the wild!! go matty! 🙌
recently shipped a v2 of this sticker, which i like even better:
recently shipped a v2 of this sticker, which i like even better:
"Manage subscriptions" is by far the best thing gmail has ever done since....gmail.
discovered this last week, looks like it was rolled out in July.. have y'all found this?!?
click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click, ahhhhh.
simple joys. 🌱
discovered this last week, looks like it was rolled out in July.. have y'all found this?!?
click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click, ahhhhh.
simple joys. 🌱
October 21, 2025 at 11:57 PM
"Manage subscriptions" is by far the best thing gmail has ever done since....gmail.
discovered this last week, looks like it was rolled out in July.. have y'all found this?!?
click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click, ahhhhh.
simple joys. 🌱
discovered this last week, looks like it was rolled out in July.. have y'all found this?!?
click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click, ahhhhh.
simple joys. 🌱
shipping is the heartbeat of your company. it should happen by default after each diff gets merged -- swiftly, automatically, no muss no fuss.
i dub thee 'saint shelby' for thy proselytizing the good word.
i dub thee 'saint shelby' for thy proselytizing the good word.
October 20, 2025 at 11:52 PM
shipping is the heartbeat of your company. it should happen by default after each diff gets merged -- swiftly, automatically, no muss no fuss.
i dub thee 'saint shelby' for thy proselytizing the good word.
i dub thee 'saint shelby' for thy proselytizing the good word.
ah. yes, it's true, as the AI has learned, i *do* have an evil doppelganger.
her name is Charity Majors and she is a pastor's wife & influencer from Idaho who writes blush pink books about how Christian women can find their purpose.
i can only hope she is more embarrassed by me than i am by her.
her name is Charity Majors and she is a pastor's wife & influencer from Idaho who writes blush pink books about how Christian women can find their purpose.
i can only hope she is more embarrassed by me than i am by her.
October 14, 2025 at 8:10 PM
ah. yes, it's true, as the AI has learned, i *do* have an evil doppelganger.
her name is Charity Majors and she is a pastor's wife & influencer from Idaho who writes blush pink books about how Christian women can find their purpose.
i can only hope she is more embarrassed by me than i am by her.
her name is Charity Majors and she is a pastor's wife & influencer from Idaho who writes blush pink books about how Christian women can find their purpose.
i can only hope she is more embarrassed by me than i am by her.
yay, thank you!! send me an address if you want some stickers (as modeled by my friend's dog 🥰)
July 30, 2025 at 7:24 PM
yay, thank you!! send me an address if you want some stickers (as modeled by my friend's dog 🥰)
Hahahahaha. Have I cracked the secret of the kind internet? 😍
(Bubba says hi)
(Bubba says hi)
July 11, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Hahahahaha. Have I cracked the secret of the kind internet? 😍
(Bubba says hi)
(Bubba says hi)
Huh.. I'd be pretty fucking irritated if I was this CEO and my CTO went off and bombed a huge initiative, then came back perkily informing me it was "his own personal training session" that "lasted two years and taught him what didn't work."
June 22, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Huh.. I'd be pretty fucking irritated if I was this CEO and my CTO went off and bombed a huge initiative, then came back perkily informing me it was "his own personal training session" that "lasted two years and taught him what didn't work."
Abby @abangser.bsky.social is giving an absolute barnstormer of a talk on platform engineering + observability, and I am so sleepy/jetlagged that I keep forgetting the killer quotes in the time elapsed between snapping a photo and opening bsky 🥱
May 15, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Abby @abangser.bsky.social is giving an absolute barnstormer of a talk on platform engineering + observability, and I am so sleepy/jetlagged that I keep forgetting the killer quotes in the time elapsed between snapping a photo and opening bsky 🥱
"We want to build you a mecha suit, not replace you", and "if you don't have to use kubernetes....maybe don't" -- @lizthegrey.com, live debugging a k8s autoscaling incident onstage.
May 15, 2025 at 11:08 AM
"We want to build you a mecha suit, not replace you", and "if you don't have to use kubernetes....maybe don't" -- @lizthegrey.com, live debugging a k8s autoscaling incident onstage.
@lizthegrey.com talking about the principles of observability and strategic themes that our platform roadmap is built around.
* works where you work
* unite teams through data
* scale with confidence
* learn once, use everywhere
* works where you work
* unite teams through data
* scale with confidence
* learn once, use everywhere
May 15, 2025 at 10:38 AM
@lizthegrey.com talking about the principles of observability and strategic themes that our platform roadmap is built around.
* works where you work
* unite teams through data
* scale with confidence
* learn once, use everywhere
* works where you work
* unite teams through data
* scale with confidence
* learn once, use everywhere
Also adored this slide, on "mean time to correctly attributed rage" 😅 @olane.bsky.social
May 15, 2025 at 9:58 AM
Also adored this slide, on "mean time to correctly attributed rage" 😅 @olane.bsky.social
OH "as @jessitron.bsky.social, my boss would say, the ultimate root cause of every incident is, inevitably, capitalism" ~ Martin Thwaites (with @olane.bsky.social and coworker, at @honeycomb.io o11y days London)
May 15, 2025 at 9:53 AM
OH "as @jessitron.bsky.social, my boss would say, the ultimate root cause of every incident is, inevitably, capitalism" ~ Martin Thwaites (with @olane.bsky.social and coworker, at @honeycomb.io o11y days London)
Oh yeah... You can get a "nines don't matter" or "test in prod or live a lie" or "if you liked it then you should have put an SLO on it" t-shirt or hoodie at my old bonfire shop, lol.
www.bonfire.com/store/mipsyt...
www.bonfire.com/store/mipsyt...
May 13, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Oh yeah... You can get a "nines don't matter" or "test in prod or live a lie" or "if you liked it then you should have put an SLO on it" t-shirt or hoodie at my old bonfire shop, lol.
www.bonfire.com/store/mipsyt...
www.bonfire.com/store/mipsyt...
....do I have a sticker for that? 🤔
Hah, of course I do.
Hah, of course I do.
April 14, 2025 at 5:10 AM
....do I have a sticker for that? 🤔
Hah, of course I do.
Hah, of course I do.
I don't even remember how or why this site popped up in my tabs last week, but every time I go to close it I'm like...should it? 🤔
Says who?
When?
Where, why? 🤔
Is this just like some person's philosophical yearning? In what universe has maintaining code *ever* been easier than writing it?
Says who?
When?
Where, why? 🤔
Is this just like some person's philosophical yearning? In what universe has maintaining code *ever* been easier than writing it?
April 4, 2025 at 3:33 AM
I don't even remember how or why this site popped up in my tabs last week, but every time I go to close it I'm like...should it? 🤔
Says who?
When?
Where, why? 🤔
Is this just like some person's philosophical yearning? In what universe has maintaining code *ever* been easier than writing it?
Says who?
When?
Where, why? 🤔
Is this just like some person's philosophical yearning? In what universe has maintaining code *ever* been easier than writing it?
Test in prod or live a lie!!! ✊
(i actually commissioned art for an AI themed version of this quote, but after staring at it a while, i concluded no one would get the joke. Thoughts? "Test in prod or live a L-AI??" 🤔)
(i actually commissioned art for an AI themed version of this quote, but after staring at it a while, i concluded no one would get the joke. Thoughts? "Test in prod or live a L-AI??" 🤔)
April 2, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Test in prod or live a lie!!! ✊
(i actually commissioned art for an AI themed version of this quote, but after staring at it a while, i concluded no one would get the joke. Thoughts? "Test in prod or live a L-AI??" 🤔)
(i actually commissioned art for an AI themed version of this quote, but after staring at it a while, i concluded no one would get the joke. Thoughts? "Test in prod or live a L-AI??" 🤔)
@ives.sh awww, thank you for the shout-out!!! 💃 if you want to dm me a mailing address, i'd love to send you and your team a care package of snarky systems stickers 😉
April 1, 2025 at 12:05 AM
@ives.sh awww, thank you for the shout-out!!! 💃 if you want to dm me a mailing address, i'd love to send you and your team a care package of snarky systems stickers 😉
You can't help solve collective action problems by sitting on the sidelines.
If you want your critique to be heard, make it an informed critique.
Society is full of haters, but critique from the inside cuts deep.
Or as someone else there said..you can't stop a train by jumping in front of it. 🌈✨
If you want your critique to be heard, make it an informed critique.
Society is full of haters, but critique from the inside cuts deep.
Or as someone else there said..you can't stop a train by jumping in front of it. 🌈✨
March 31, 2025 at 1:22 AM
You can't help solve collective action problems by sitting on the sidelines.
If you want your critique to be heard, make it an informed critique.
Society is full of haters, but critique from the inside cuts deep.
Or as someone else there said..you can't stop a train by jumping in front of it. 🌈✨
If you want your critique to be heard, make it an informed critique.
Society is full of haters, but critique from the inside cuts deep.
Or as someone else there said..you can't stop a train by jumping in front of it. 🌈✨
And finally...my pitch for SREs to lead with curiosity and empathy.
Do you have grave concerns about AI and its impact on artists, the environment, our industry?
Great. So do I!! Even more reason to get up close and personal, become an expert.
Do you have grave concerns about AI and its impact on artists, the environment, our industry?
Great. So do I!! Even more reason to get up close and personal, become an expert.
March 31, 2025 at 1:18 AM
And finally...my pitch for SREs to lead with curiosity and empathy.
Do you have grave concerns about AI and its impact on artists, the environment, our industry?
Great. So do I!! Even more reason to get up close and personal, become an expert.
Do you have grave concerns about AI and its impact on artists, the environment, our industry?
Great. So do I!! Even more reason to get up close and personal, become an expert.
In my career, every time I've had managers or execs asking me to do something that made *no fucking sense*, it turns out that they were under intense pressures I knew nothing about.
(Here is where @ferd.ca and I swapped stories onstage of execs asking for shit that seemed *absurd*.)
(Here is where @ferd.ca and I swapped stories onstage of execs asking for shit that seemed *absurd*.)
March 31, 2025 at 1:10 AM
In my career, every time I've had managers or execs asking me to do something that made *no fucking sense*, it turns out that they were under intense pressures I knew nothing about.
(Here is where @ferd.ca and I swapped stories onstage of execs asking for shit that seemed *absurd*.)
(Here is where @ferd.ca and I swapped stories onstage of execs asking for shit that seemed *absurd*.)