I got a little sad for a hot minute so here's a couple days worth of bullshit.

"You got regular free-range homegrown ADHD and you need the Red 40."
"Why do you hate joy and whimsy and Elvis impersonators?"
"Ooh look what I got today, I gotta take my pants off real quick, but look what I got today"

Please put this away

My bones are built on decay nothing can touch me

You can't make me do shit

"The titty tank. When you got road war at 7 but gotta be on the pole at 9."

Genuinely shocked that this is the first Mad Max reference of this series.

It was technically a blackberry cobbler?

Hot, fruit, and soup

"I made a hot fruit soup."

"We have fifteen minutes before my mom gets here, show me your tits."

...context will not help, I promise.

*With a plant stem in her mouth*
"I'm proving a point! This is bad."

She also called the kibble box a trapper keeper???

"This Irish doesn’t! (Asexuality joke but imagine it in the fire font)"
(In response to "the Irish FUCK")

Ur honor they're innocent

"What, you want me to have to take a multivitamin?! Chlorine is an electrolyte, like... Sodium chloride!"
Dear reader, I have no comment.

Pretty tame today bc I slept through most of it but she did cut her hand on a measuring cup (which requires real skill) and also we have:
"I have a pan lid, I just don't know what lid pan to goes."

Special ramen ftw

God the fucking worst like I'M DOING THE GOOD THING BE NICE TO ME

This is hilarious to me good job tho