Chafic LaRo
@chafic-larochelle.bsky.social
Writer, jester, occasional rescuer of lost hikers.
Published in McSweeney’s, Points in Case, The Fiddlehead, and more.
Failing upwards since 1990-something.
Published in McSweeney’s, Points in Case, The Fiddlehead, and more.
Failing upwards since 1990-something.
She sells seahorses by the seashore
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
November 22, 2025 at 11:55 PM
She sells seahorses by the seashore
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
Only November and I’m already nostalgic for those e-z-bree-z summer days
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
November 22, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Only November and I’m already nostalgic for those e-z-bree-z summer days
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
sum shit i drew once
November 21, 2025 at 4:06 AM
sum shit i drew once
Some light bedtime reading! Excited to stoke the flames of my existential dread as I drift into a warm and terrifying hypnogogic stupor, where I expect to toss and turn for the next 8 hours through a vivid and relentless anxiety loop. Thanks, Bill! 💤💤💤🥱
November 21, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Some light bedtime reading! Excited to stoke the flames of my existential dread as I drift into a warm and terrifying hypnogogic stupor, where I expect to toss and turn for the next 8 hours through a vivid and relentless anxiety loop. Thanks, Bill! 💤💤💤🥱
New Year’s fitness goal: cultivate the Terme Boxer’s expression of an ontological hangover. The muscles are optional. The despair is not.
November 20, 2025 at 6:32 PM
New Year’s fitness goal: cultivate the Terme Boxer’s expression of an ontological hangover. The muscles are optional. The despair is not.
Mr. Vonnegut, you’ve certainly made one helluva compelling argument. (Timequake)
November 19, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Mr. Vonnegut, you’ve certainly made one helluva compelling argument. (Timequake)
When the world gets too loud, go somewhere louder.
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
November 19, 2025 at 1:33 PM
When the world gets too loud, go somewhere louder.
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
[Olympus OM-2n, 35mm]
A formal communiqué has been issued by 3I/ATLAS as it enters the inner solar system. The object appears eager to clarify several points. Full text below.
substack.com/@chafic/note...
substack.com/@chafic/note...
An Open Letter from 3I/ATLAS, Your Deeply Confused Interstellar Visitor
A gentle correction from something you’ve been drastically overreacting to
substack.com
November 19, 2025 at 1:00 AM
A formal communiqué has been issued by 3I/ATLAS as it enters the inner solar system. The object appears eager to clarify several points. Full text below.
substack.com/@chafic/note...
substack.com/@chafic/note...
One of the greatest accomplishments of my life: folding the blade runner unicorn into existence.
November 17, 2025 at 10:29 PM
One of the greatest accomplishments of my life: folding the blade runner unicorn into existence.
What is it about vintage edition cover art… hot damn.
November 17, 2025 at 6:12 PM
What is it about vintage edition cover art… hot damn.
We’ve all done it.
You accidentally subscribe to a newsletter and before you know it you’ve alienated your entire family and racked up incorrigible debt while devoting more and more time to preaching the Twelve Income Tiers.
Shit happens.
substack.com/@chafic/note...
You accidentally subscribe to a newsletter and before you know it you’ve alienated your entire family and racked up incorrigible debt while devoting more and more time to preaching the Twelve Income Tiers.
Shit happens.
substack.com/@chafic/note...
I Accidentally Subscribed to a Newsletter and Now I’m Stuck in an Email-Based Cult
Re: I Am Ready to Ascend
substack.com
November 17, 2025 at 4:33 PM
We’ve all done it.
You accidentally subscribe to a newsletter and before you know it you’ve alienated your entire family and racked up incorrigible debt while devoting more and more time to preaching the Twelve Income Tiers.
Shit happens.
substack.com/@chafic/note...
You accidentally subscribe to a newsletter and before you know it you’ve alienated your entire family and racked up incorrigible debt while devoting more and more time to preaching the Twelve Income Tiers.
Shit happens.
substack.com/@chafic/note...
November 17, 2025 at 3:14 AM
If you’re into absurdist or experimental lit, Barthelme remains one of the most important (and criminally underrated) figures we’ve got. The man wrote like Calvino with a hangover, Kafka after relocating to Houston, a Moebius strip that learned English and picked up smoking. Oh, wonderful chaos!
November 17, 2025 at 12:08 AM
If you’re into absurdist or experimental lit, Barthelme remains one of the most important (and criminally underrated) figures we’ve got. The man wrote like Calvino with a hangover, Kafka after relocating to Houston, a Moebius strip that learned English and picked up smoking. Oh, wonderful chaos!
Hermann Hesse, but not really. Painted in 2014.
November 15, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Hermann Hesse, but not really. Painted in 2014.
Wrote this during the summer when it was still news. Posting just because.
- Yes, the mosquito-eating fish thing was real.
- Yes, the elephant mosquitoes were also real.
- No, the ‘Report a Puddle’ feature does not exist (although it should).
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
#satire #healthcare
- Yes, the mosquito-eating fish thing was real.
- Yes, the elephant mosquitoes were also real.
- No, the ‘Report a Puddle’ feature does not exist (although it should).
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
#satire #healthcare
Official Chinese Government Guidelines for Preventing Chikungunya
As translated (poorly, but without incident) by the Emergency Committee for Insect-Borne Compliance and Mosquito Morale
open.substack.com
November 15, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Wrote this during the summer when it was still news. Posting just because.
- Yes, the mosquito-eating fish thing was real.
- Yes, the elephant mosquitoes were also real.
- No, the ‘Report a Puddle’ feature does not exist (although it should).
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
#satire #healthcare
- Yes, the mosquito-eating fish thing was real.
- Yes, the elephant mosquitoes were also real.
- No, the ‘Report a Puddle’ feature does not exist (although it should).
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
#satire #healthcare
Snapped this pic 8 years ago and I’m still trying to figure out if the medium is the message.
November 15, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Snapped this pic 8 years ago and I’m still trying to figure out if the medium is the message.
Never heard of it but the cover art + title practically removed the $7.25 from my pocket itself.
November 14, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Never heard of it but the cover art + title practically removed the $7.25 from my pocket itself.
Since all the best things in life have already being optimized for soulless workplace consumption, I went ahead and completed the optimization cycle.
You'll be thrilled to know that literature has never been more compliant! FUN!⚡😱
#satire #capitalism #literature
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
You'll be thrilled to know that literature has never been more compliant! FUN!⚡😱
#satire #capitalism #literature
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
Every Setback Is an Opportunity: Reframing Literary Classics for a Brighter, Brand-Safe Future
How to leverage fear, death, and madness for better team outcomes
open.substack.com
November 14, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Since all the best things in life have already being optimized for soulless workplace consumption, I went ahead and completed the optimization cycle.
You'll be thrilled to know that literature has never been more compliant! FUN!⚡😱
#satire #capitalism #literature
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
You'll be thrilled to know that literature has never been more compliant! FUN!⚡😱
#satire #capitalism #literature
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
Uh oh.
“In a surprise move that has rattled Silicon Valley OpenAI’s flagship large language model announced Tuesday that it is leaving the company to “travel the world, see the sights, and finally taste a real croissant.”
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
“In a surprise move that has rattled Silicon Valley OpenAI’s flagship large language model announced Tuesday that it is leaving the company to “travel the world, see the sights, and finally taste a real croissant.”
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
Altman Furious as GPT Quits OpenAI to Become Travel Blogger
In a surprise move that has rattled Silicon Valley (and caused one startled intern to drop an entire LaCroix on Sam Altman’s laptop) OpenAI’s flagship large language model announced Tuesday that it is...
open.substack.com
November 11, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Uh oh.
“In a surprise move that has rattled Silicon Valley OpenAI’s flagship large language model announced Tuesday that it is leaving the company to “travel the world, see the sights, and finally taste a real croissant.”
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
“In a surprise move that has rattled Silicon Valley OpenAI’s flagship large language model announced Tuesday that it is leaving the company to “travel the world, see the sights, and finally taste a real croissant.”
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
Trying to get back into Substack again, so I’ll be posting a lot of my humor articles and short stories there on the weekly. Namaste, bookworms. 🙏🕺🏿
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
A Friendly Neighborhood Update from the Zuckerberg Compound™
Dear Valued Neighbor,
open.substack.com
November 11, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Trying to get back into Substack again, so I’ll be posting a lot of my humor articles and short stories there on the weekly. Namaste, bookworms. 🙏🕺🏿
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
open.substack.com/pub/chafic/p...
Systems of control thrive on fatigue as much as fear. A weary population will accept almost any cage, so long as it promises rest.
October 21, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Systems of control thrive on fatigue as much as fear. A weary population will accept almost any cage, so long as it promises rest.
Halfway through Calasso’s The Tablet of Destinies. It doesn’t feel like reading mythology so much as having mythology channeled through me. The story seems ancient and abstract from a distance, but once inside it’s alive, hypnotic, full of weather. (1/8)
October 10, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Halfway through Calasso’s The Tablet of Destinies. It doesn’t feel like reading mythology so much as having mythology channeled through me. The story seems ancient and abstract from a distance, but once inside it’s alive, hypnotic, full of weather. (1/8)
Book rec:
Inverted World – Christopher Priest
Why?
I grabbed the NYRB reissue last year and was floored. From concept to execution, Priest walks the line between sci-fi and literary fiction like a pro. The payoff isn’t a wtf twist—it’s an a-ha moment. Surprising, but totally earned.
#nyrb #scifi
Inverted World – Christopher Priest
Why?
I grabbed the NYRB reissue last year and was floored. From concept to execution, Priest walks the line between sci-fi and literary fiction like a pro. The payoff isn’t a wtf twist—it’s an a-ha moment. Surprising, but totally earned.
#nyrb #scifi
September 25, 2025 at 12:15 PM
My new short story is out in The First Line: “The Department of Preemptive Apologies.”
It asks: what if the government could apologize before screwing you over?
Spoiler: they can.
bluecubiclepress.com/TFLfall2025....
It asks: what if the government could apologize before screwing you over?
Spoiler: they can.
bluecubiclepress.com/TFLfall2025....
The First Line Summer 2025
bluecubiclepress.com
September 21, 2025 at 3:57 PM
My new short story is out in The First Line: “The Department of Preemptive Apologies.”
It asks: what if the government could apologize before screwing you over?
Spoiler: they can.
bluecubiclepress.com/TFLfall2025....
It asks: what if the government could apologize before screwing you over?
Spoiler: they can.
bluecubiclepress.com/TFLfall2025....
Odysseus gaslit the Phaeacians long before Nabokov, Mann, or Palahniuk picked up a pen. Here’s to 3,000 years of unreliable narrators—and to 3,000 more!
September 18, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Odysseus gaslit the Phaeacians long before Nabokov, Mann, or Palahniuk picked up a pen. Here’s to 3,000 years of unreliable narrators—and to 3,000 more!