GF: Are you manic rn?
Me, juggling between 5+ social apps and meme farming while writing a report on boric acid restrictions in vaginal suppositories: Um, why do you ask?

*Every time something minorly inconveniences me at work*

Dammit, I should just do OF.

*Me covered in blood and surrounded by bodies cause I'm a plurality with multiple male headmates*

Yea, but can AI do this?

*Tells you to fuck off but starts crying because communication and setting boundaries is hard.*

Look, bottom surgery sounds great but no more CBT makes it a hard (ha) sell.

Evening with the boyfriend: Listening to chill vinyls, watching some muppets, talking about feelings.
Morning with the boyfriend: I proceed to drain a Celsius in seconds and then blast System of a Down's first album and belt out all the lyrics while stimming with air guitar.

The wife has been incredibly supportive of my transition until I started stealing her clothes.

Her, upon seeing me in her sweater: I did *not* sign up for this.

Me: Get lesbianed.

Growin up queer and catholic was like: you're going to hell cause you're evil.

Me: guess I'll befriend demons then. Same team.

Them: Wait, no.

The lionesss does not concern herself with the origin of her many kinks.

Got a funny look for saying if I could come back as anything, I'd come back as cordyceps. I just wanna rule over a zombie ant army as a fun gal necromancer. Is that too mush to ask?

Imagining a future where a prison guard goes to tattoo "nihilistic violent extremist" on me before v-coding me only to discover I already tattooed it on myself but with sparkles and hearts.

www.them.us/story/trump-...

You're in her DMs, I'm in her.
This is not a sex thing! Ms. Frizzle kidnapped me and...

So no puppy play? *Throws phone, breaks skateboard*

My brain, 5 minutes after I paint my nails: You are covered in ants.

Imagining a future where a prison guard goes to tattoo "nihilistic violent extremist" on me before v-coding me only to discover I already tattooed it on myself, but with sparkles and hearts.

Fuck authority but if a beautiful woman tells me to bark, I'm gonna bark.

Kink distribution be like: None for you, light bondage for you, maybe some interest in feet for you. Oh you? Bring out the forklift, you get EVERYTHING. Good luck with that.