Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. Death and loss are such a regular part of loving small animals, you have to cope somehow.

May she popcorn freely

First of all, I'm so sorry this happened. It sounds like she might have suffered a heart attack or stroke, not uncommon in piggies, but a relatively peaceful way to go. The eyes thing, though? That sounds like the work of insects, which don't take very long to find a deceased animal.

Tbh many of the meds I've had to use for my piggies are also regularly given to people; particularly the pain meds we use for my boar's arthritis. Meloxidyl, gabapentin, etc

(2)but because my parents were willing to learn new things and grow with me, unlike republicans

I was spanked constantly as a kid. Behaviors I had little to no control over (by virtue of being like 5) were met with physical punishment. I still have the core problems that caused those "behaviors", but as my parents learned so did I. (1)

I don't think I could try it, I'd feel very guilty about facing my guinea pigs afterwards, but I would imagine it's similar to squirrel, which in turn is like a gamier chicken. It's very interesting that guinea pigs are among the oldest domesticated animals, right next to pack animals like llamas