*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀
@cauthons.bsky.social
shorty got so low. their life is spiraling down. shorty has hit rock bottom. || they/them || 🐦: MacTireDona
Pinned
every polar voyage has A Good Holiday, before they quite realize they're fucked, that is then followed by The Worst Holiday, where everyone knows it
i am once again being forcibly reminded that i cannot read a book & listen to a podcast simultaneously
January 20, 2026 at 4:08 AM
i am once again being forcibly reminded that i cannot read a book & listen to a podcast simultaneously
the way that enclose horse has already become load-bearing
January 19, 2026 at 3:49 AM
the way that enclose horse has already become load-bearing
there are so many books that i wish i could own in hard copy that ARE NOT AVAILABLE, it's very frustrating
January 17, 2026 at 4:47 PM
there are so many books that i wish i could own in hard copy that ARE NOT AVAILABLE, it's very frustrating
i am dead convinced i own a series of ebooks but i'm fucked if i remember from where & in what medium
January 17, 2026 at 5:32 AM
i am dead convinced i own a series of ebooks but i'm fucked if i remember from where & in what medium
for a guy who was slapped with modify memories so bad he went crazy he is reaaaaal slow on suggesting greater restoration Just In Case
January 16, 2026 at 2:03 AM
for a guy who was slapped with modify memories so bad he went crazy he is reaaaaal slow on suggesting greater restoration Just In Case
player: heyyy shady baby
dm: please stop flirting with the obvious villain
dm: please stop flirting with the obvious villain
January 16, 2026 at 1:38 AM
player: heyyy shady baby
dm: please stop flirting with the obvious villain
dm: please stop flirting with the obvious villain
me: and then i got too depressed
coworker: wait, for real?
coworker: wait, for real?
January 15, 2026 at 9:00 PM
me: and then i got too depressed
coworker: wait, for real?
coworker: wait, for real?
hah...hitting lockdown in the backlog of this podcast...we were all so much Less Tired then
January 15, 2026 at 2:56 AM
hah...hitting lockdown in the backlog of this podcast...we were all so much Less Tired then
a character (an adult man born after 1980) said "holy jumping hockey sticks" & thus i ceased & desisted right there
January 10, 2026 at 11:25 PM
a character (an adult man born after 1980) said "holy jumping hockey sticks" & thus i ceased & desisted right there
stardew valley keeps asking me to do things for others instead of what i really need: more things to scythe
January 8, 2026 at 7:32 PM
stardew valley keeps asking me to do things for others instead of what i really need: more things to scythe
the disappointment of realizing that "the maltese falcon" just means "a bird from malta" cannot be fully expressed
January 8, 2026 at 7:30 PM
the disappointment of realizing that "the maltese falcon" just means "a bird from malta" cannot be fully expressed
"but it's the same plot every time" yeah, buddy, & i'm reading it! making what's—at the most extreme, basic level—arguably the same book over & over again engaging & compelling? that's talent, baby
January 7, 2026 at 3:33 AM
"but it's the same plot every time" yeah, buddy, & i'm reading it! making what's—at the most extreme, basic level—arguably the same book over & over again engaging & compelling? that's talent, baby
yelling at the word puzzle for doing a religion theme & using the wrong "altar"
January 6, 2026 at 9:23 PM
yelling at the word puzzle for doing a religion theme & using the wrong "altar"
me, reading a local news story: boulders? in my park? it's more likely than you think
January 6, 2026 at 8:03 PM
me, reading a local news story: boulders? in my park? it's more likely than you think
love to listen to a fantasy person say a word, think "i know how to spell that", & be so, so comically wrong
January 6, 2026 at 3:55 AM
love to listen to a fantasy person say a word, think "i know how to spell that", & be so, so comically wrong
having to read the words "spicy times" in a book summary is a higher price than i am willing to pay
January 4, 2026 at 2:00 AM
having to read the words "spicy times" in a book summary is a higher price than i am willing to pay
my sister, watching HR: look, he's taken his socks off
my sister: that's growth!
my sister: that's growth!
January 1, 2026 at 9:20 PM
my sister, watching HR: look, he's taken his socks off
my sister: that's growth!
my sister: that's growth!
yuna hollander, disbelieving: since your rookie season
yuna hollander, miserablely with a side of growing joy: since your rookie season
yuna hollander, miserablely with a side of growing joy: since your rookie season
December 30, 2025 at 3:46 AM
yuna hollander, disbelieving: since your rookie season
yuna hollander, miserablely with a side of growing joy: since your rookie season
yuna hollander, miserablely with a side of growing joy: since your rookie season
me: I crave validation
also me: /writes a fic for a fandom that is in the extremely low double digits
also me: /writes a fic for a fandom that is in the extremely low double digits
December 29, 2025 at 3:49 AM
me: I crave validation
also me: /writes a fic for a fandom that is in the extremely low double digits
also me: /writes a fic for a fandom that is in the extremely low double digits
had a dream that jesus was, like, passing out envelopes with eternal damnation/salvation details, but he was doing it by household? so when one guy who was visiting was like "where's mine?" he just...handed him the opinion section of a newspaper & ghosted
December 28, 2025 at 5:05 PM
had a dream that jesus was, like, passing out envelopes with eternal damnation/salvation details, but he was doing it by household? so when one guy who was visiting was like "where's mine?" he just...handed him the opinion section of a newspaper & ghosted
inside every movie is a ninety minute movie that is, arguably, better
December 27, 2025 at 3:43 AM
inside every movie is a ninety minute movie that is, arguably, better
TBT to when the BBC killed arthur & that guy from downton abbey on the same christmas
December 25, 2025 at 8:25 PM
TBT to when the BBC killed arthur & that guy from downton abbey on the same christmas
"stiff peaks" lmao like meringue
December 24, 2025 at 5:43 PM
"stiff peaks" lmao like meringue
looking at someone's 8-bit website listing star wars character ages with citation tags on each one so i can check their research: this is what the internet was made for
December 24, 2025 at 2:56 AM
looking at someone's 8-bit website listing star wars character ages with citation tags on each one so i can check their research: this is what the internet was made for
ofc they had to change the names, you birds—bruins are literally bears, the centaurs are only that so they shorten to the cens, voyageurs is just another way of saying "those french canadian fucks", it's all just bad puns & broad winks
December 23, 2025 at 4:23 PM
ofc they had to change the names, you birds—bruins are literally bears, the centaurs are only that so they shorten to the cens, voyageurs is just another way of saying "those french canadian fucks", it's all just bad puns & broad winks