Cactus
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catnotcactus.bsky.social
Cactus
@catnotcactus.bsky.social
Singer and says whatever I’m thinking. Inspired by pizza. Not be confused with a cactus.

👾 Follow me on YouTube @CatNotCactus
🎤 Performing & Voiceover: catoneillsounds@hotmail.com
🐈‍⬛ Best kitten ever: @DemeterTheCat TikTok
Just saw an NHS form that said “people that are breast or chest feeding” 🥹 inclusive language really isn’t difficult.
October 30, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Well played, Netflix #edgein
October 9, 2025 at 11:01 PM
…Ordering tea?
September 21, 2025 at 9:33 PM
While we’re normalising stuff, can we add “eating a dessert with a knife and fork” to the list? Fed up of chasing crumbs around the plate with no opposing force
August 24, 2025 at 11:10 PM
I’ve just realised that the disco snails are off to San Francisco because it RHYMES, and not because SF is just where it’s at for discos these days
August 22, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Sorry Heinz but my favourite ketchup is a Heinz bottle with a home brand ketchup inside
August 17, 2025 at 10:21 AM
Inflation over shrinkflation PLEASE
June 28, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Zoloft and Zoflora are not 👏🏼 the 👏🏼 same 👏🏼
June 17, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Rewatching Squid Game S1E1 and THEY DID NOT JUST advertise horse racing to me in the ad break 💀💀
June 3, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Was looking for the tweet where the trains were delayed for the “wrong kind of sun” but found people actUALLY QUESTIONING THE SUN

*This was by no means the only one
May 28, 2025 at 9:58 PM
If I buy a bar shelf, it’s gonna spark joy when I’m chilling on the sofa.

If I buy fancy zippy bedding, it’s gonna spark joy when I’m chilling in bed.

👍🏻 Bar shelf
❤️ Cosy bedding
😃 Money is a construct, buy both and be broke
May 24, 2025 at 7:53 PM
What kinda curse do you have if you can think of really cool premises for stories but no ideas for actual plot?
May 23, 2025 at 11:26 AM
So, like, do I get paid at midnight orrrrr
May 22, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Going to a conference tomorrow but I don’t know if it will be theatre setup or classroom or banquet, which means I don’t know if I want to take notes on my laptop or iPad or on paper and dammit the tism is exhausting
a man in a suit and sweater stands in front of a sign that says ' the '
ALT: a man in a suit and sweater stands in front of a sign that says ' the '
media.tenor.com
May 20, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Espresso ❌
Espresso macchiato ✅
May 20, 2025 at 7:22 AM
Mi amore
Mi amore
Espresso macchiato macchiato macchiato
Per favore
May 19, 2025 at 10:58 PM
I’m assuming pronouncing it as “haitch” isn’t a protected characteristic.
May 7, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Sparky rang me earlier through his watch while he was in the car and I answered on my watch at home in my kitchen. We’re really living in the future.
April 18, 2025 at 1:46 PM
You’re so concerned with not sharing your bathroom with AMAB transwomen that we’re now sharing it with people who identify as male!! I know who I would rather share with.
April 17, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Transwomen are women.
Transmen are men.

I am non binary.

Feel like there’s no one out there that agrees with me anymore 💔
April 17, 2025 at 7:49 PM
I cannot emphasise enough how much I am not going with the flow. I will build a dam before I go with the flow.
April 7, 2025 at 10:06 PM
I love how in German, if you want to tell someone you don’t like something, the “nicht” goes at the end of the sentence, like you’re saying “I like your hair…not”
April 7, 2025 at 7:36 PM
When I was 12, I learnt the 5 question words in German using the weird Floop guy song from Spy Kids, and it’s still how I work it out 17 YEARS LATER
a man in a suit and tie stands in front of a green and yellow background that says homeflix.com
ALT: a man in a suit and tie stands in front of a green and yellow background that says homeflix.com
media.tenor.com
April 4, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Pro tip: Launch your chaotic product ideas on April Fools Day to see which ones are actually winners in disguise - you won’t ruin your industry reputation, you’ll get praise for being hot on the internet trends
a close up of a man making a funny face with his mouth open .
ALT: a close up of a man making a funny face with his mouth open .
media.tenor.com
April 1, 2025 at 10:38 PM
I’ve started TikTok with my kitten (it’s @demeterthecat btw) and I’m CONFLICTED by this monetisation 🧵
March 24, 2025 at 12:20 AM