Every woman is exactly what their mothers wanted but nothing like what their mother wanted.

She can do no right.

I've spent weeks trying to convince my husband to watch The Four Seasons

He has refused. He prefers movies to TV shows and admitted he thinks its a White Lotus knock off

Tonight I turned it on in the background

He watched 5 episodes before muttering to himself: "Man, this movie was made for me."

In case I know anyone interested in making ASMR videos, I am more than willing to let you strap a camera to my head and pretend to do my hair and make up.

I purge my soul by texting back my spam callers with thoughts I would share with my therapist if I could afford one.

Ruby Bridges did her thing while our president was in high school.

If you wanna blame Christianity on a 12 year olds lie that got out of hand, we also need to talk about the fact that ancient Greece had some weirdly aggressive swans.

One time during early COVID I was wearing a dark blue gaiter as a mask and a guy told me I looked like Katara and I've been riding that high ever since.

No pictures of Ruby Bridges should be shown in black and white.

Ruby Bridges integrated schools 21 years AFTER The Wizard of Oz came out.

Black and white pictures are aimed at manipulating younger people into thinking that her integration was longer ago than it was.

I don't block numbers or delete contacts. When the new Nazis pick me up and go through my phone, I want to know that there's a chance they'll take out some of my enemies for me, mistaking them for co-conspirators.

Time travel movies where people act weird when someone asks the year are unrealistic.

You ever seen someone try to write a check? No one knows what year it is.

Gladiator is on SYFY right now and since that's our 6 month old's favorite movie, that's what we have on the big TV in the living room. Me and dad are watching YouTube videos on mute on our phones so we don't bother her, in case you wanted to know who the alpha around here is.

Sold out everywhere